Narcissist Recovery Blog

In answer to a member out 4 months (NC) and feeling intense sadness and wanting to die.

You are grieving

Real grieving does not even begin until the cognitive dissonance die's down. This is why it seems to take so long to recover from a PD.

Depending on how long you stay in c/d determines when the real inner work and grieving begins.

A necessary step in letting go and eventually moving on.

We are not taught how or encourged to grieve in this society.

Especially when it is over someone deemed to be unhealthy or bad for us.

Many tell us that we are lucky to be done with them. Find someone better. He was a sicko anyways, ect.

So we often feel almost guilty to grieve. Ashamed for grieving a bad man.

More than 30,000 pregnancies are attributable to rape every year. I hope women realize that Mr. Akin's platform is the exact same platform as the Romney/Ryan Ticket and the Grand Old Party itself. There is nothing grand about that. Old, archaic and ignorant, YES, but not grand.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/todd-akin-rape_b_1812930.html

Dear Todd Akin,

I am writing to you tonight about rape. It is 2 AM and I am unable to sleep here in the Democratic Republic of Congo. I am in Bukavu at the City of Joy to serve and support and work with hundreds, thousands of women who have been raped and violated and tortured from this ceaseless war for minerals fought on their bodies.

This is by Guest Blogger Portia:

Yesterday many of us responded to a post from a very confused member, who was worried that she may have misjudged a complete jerk by calling him a N, and she wondered "what if he's not" and she completely excused his vile behavior, and made up excuses to forgive him for all of it because she really liked "being up on that pedastal". This post had it all, Denial, Cognitive Dissonance, Self-blame, Obligatory Sex, thinking a relationship would evolve if sex was provided, unrealistic expectations.

Yes, “The Bachelor Pad” and its series of shows are admittedly a guilty pleasure of mine. I am fascinated by human behavior. I teach Organizational Psychology, write, blog and study human conduct every day.

I watched the “The Bachelor Pad” last night and must say that Erica Rose was downright brilliant in her thoughts and observations. In my opinion, Erica Rose is rose is a rose is a rose!

One thing I’m certain most HR professionals can agree on is that humans are capable of great deception. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to human behavior. Every time I think I have seen it all, someone does something so deceitful that I come close to losing my faith in humanity as a whole.

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
--Carl Sandburg

The clock ticks so slowly it’s as if someone poured molasses over it. Time is the dark enemy and it refuses to loosen its grip on your heart. The maddening sound of the silent minutes as they creep by into another day and then dusk and then night make you wonder if you’ll simply go insane.

It’s been a three weeks now. Three weeks that feel like a year. A year of hell in three week’s time that you’ve spent...well, how? Twisted into knots with just one question on your mind: “Will I hear from him again?”