THE PAIN OF NC
This amazing post is by Guest Blogger:
Neverlookback
Narcissist Recovery Blog
"When you are with a Psychopath, you do not stay for the sake of your family; you LEAVE for the sake of your family." ~. Goldie
"When you are with a Psychopath, you do not stay for the sake of your family; you LEAVE for the sake of your family." ~. Goldie
The research regarding a predator shows us that many of them are created, by either, overindulgence or neglect shown to them as children. The overindulged ones generally still have their families of origin for supply and tend to demonstrate as selfish, childish, willful, immature, entitled, demanding, grandiose, and rage full. Similar to a spoiled 2 year old tantruming to have their way. They do what they want when they want it. The King Baby Syndrome.
The neglected, abandoned, and abused ones are an entirely different story. They come looking to take, control, destroy, infiltrate; they eat you up and spit you out.
I found my laughter again
By the time I made it here to the forum I had lost my laughter. That sincere belly laugh was nowhere to be found. The N/P had sucked the last little chuckle out of me.
One day I was acting silly around the Narc and he said: "Why are you acting like that, you never act like that." I froze dead in my tracks and I thought to myself. What is he talking about? I am silly and playful all the time. NOT, I had not been silly and playful for a long time.
The Goldie who enjoyed silly banter, laughting wholeheartedly, and the playful Goldie was lost, missing in action.
This selfish, lying, cheating, stealing, using, drug addicted, manipulative, perverted, blood sucking, dark hole of deception had sucked the life out of me.
They Live Among us; the Betrayal From the One You Love. The Narcissist
In Response the question as to how can they get away with this and why do people not see what they have done to us? http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2012/04/11/putting-out-there
Loving those with a severe Personality Disorder.
You are describing the human condition right now for MOST OF US.
What does the Narcissist "feel" when we go No Contact, the Abuse Cycle, Silent Treatment, and will he change if I go NC?
They certainly don't wither in pain like we do.
They feel fear, they may not find someone else to put up with their sorry ass and they contact us initially due to fear of abandonment. Once the dust settles and they regroup, because they feel nothing for us aside from their own contempt and fear of being alone, they begin to contemplate their next move.
Is the Narcissist happy now with the Other Woman? They look happy and I am still miserable.
One thing, a PD is NOT, is HAPPY. He can "seem" happy because he doesn't hurt or feel like we do. He has a built in shut off valve to keep him from experiencing typical highs and lows. They are a flatline with bouts of fear and rage surfacing from time to time.
They do NOT experience joy. He is busting your chops parading the OW around in front of you. When someone "acts" so happy in front of an XGF of 2.5 years you just know that it is an "act."
Seriously, how "in love" can he be if he was spending the weekend with you while supposedly being happy with her. He is not.
HAPPY EASTER TO ALL OF OUR MEMBERS AND THEIR FAMILIES
Easter is one of my favorite holidays. It is a renewal time; a rebirth. A time to RISE AGAIN.
We all have an opportunity here to move forward on the PATH FORWARD and although it is a long winding road at times. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.
When I came here almost 2 years ago. I was defeated, depressed, and actually questioning myself as to how I was going to make it out of this mess I was in and if I even had the strength to do it this time.
Practicing Self-Compassion
A reminder on the importance of practicing Self-Compassion today and every day.
Step 6 on The Path Forward is TO HEAL: We have a newfound compassion for ourselves and commit to live in the moment.
The POWER Professions and "Credibility" Factor
This is in answer to a members comment regarding shock at a Psychologist posting his profile on a dating site.
Dating sites have members of most any profession.
They are not limited to any particular profession. Psychologist's may be just as disturbed as anyone else. Profession has NOTHING to do with someone's mental or emotional state. PD's are evident in all professions. The ministry, medical, education, ect.... As a matter of fact we have many on here who have been involved with such men in such professions.
Exiting the cage...
I hear a story about a behavioral experiment that was conducted in a lab:
There is a dog in a cage. Scientists rig one side of the cage so that every time the dog goes to that side of the cage she will get an electrical shock.
Soon enough, the dog learns to stay on the other side of the cage.
Within a few weeks, the scientists re-wire the cage so that she’ll get shocked on the side she was conditioned to stay on pain-free. As predicted, the dog learns to lay down on the opposite, formerly electrified side of the cage.
Matt Lauer Helps Peter Cook Prove his Own Narcissism on the Today Show
I am so saddened that Matt Lauer gave Peter Cook an opportunity to interview this morning after he forced Ms. Brinkley to discuss their marriage yesterday when she obviously did not want to and made that very clear to Mr. Lauer at the beginning of the interview.
Despite my disappointment in Matt Lauer, I am very glad this interview was given because it just further proves Peter Cook's raging narcissism.
Ms. Brinkley has not been on a television show for four years and the only reason she chose to go on The Today Show was to discuss her upcoming role in "Chicago," but Matt Lauer did not give her that chance yesterday and instead took it to the gutter to stir the pot for his personal friend, Peter Cook.
Who is the Narcissist...Peter Cook or Christie Brinkley?
For most of my readers, the answer to this question is as obvious as day is light, but for those who may not know a great deal about pathological narcissism, I'd like to explain why Peter Cook is the obvious narcissist here.
For the first time in four years, Christie Brinkley agreed to talk about her divorce from Peter Cook on the Today Show Tuesday morning. Really, she wanted to talk about her upcoming role in "Chicago" the longest running show in Broadway history, but agreed to first briefly discuss the noise her ex-husband, Peter Cook, has been making lately in his crazy attempts to call her a narcissist.