Narcissist Recovery Blog

Is the Narcissist happy now with the Other Woman? They look happy and I am still miserable.

One thing, a PD is NOT, is HAPPY. He can "seem" happy because he doesn't hurt or feel like we do. He has a built in shut off valve to keep him from experiencing typical highs and lows. They are a flatline with bouts of fear and rage surfacing from time to time.

They do NOT experience joy. He is busting your chops parading the OW around in front of you. When someone "acts" so happy in front of an XGF of 2.5 years you just know that it is an "act."

Seriously, how "in love" can he be if he was spending the weekend with you while supposedly being happy with her. He is not.

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL OF OUR MEMBERS AND THEIR FAMILIES

Easter is one of my favorite holidays. It is a renewal time; a rebirth. A time to RISE AGAIN.

We all have an opportunity here to move forward on the PATH FORWARD and although it is a long winding road at times. Together we can do what we cannot do alone.

When I came here almost 2 years ago. I was defeated, depressed, and actually questioning myself as to how I was going to make it out of this mess I was in and if I even had the strength to do it this time.

The POWER Professions and "Credibility" Factor

This is in answer to a members comment regarding shock at a Psychologist posting his profile on a dating site.

Dating sites have members of most any profession.

They are not limited to any particular profession. Psychologist's may be just as disturbed as anyone else. Profession has NOTHING to do with someone's mental or emotional state. PD's are evident in all professions. The ministry, medical, education, ect.... As a matter of fact we have many on here who have been involved with such men in such professions.

Exiting the cage...

I hear a story about a behavioral experiment that was conducted in a lab:

There is a dog in a cage. Scientists rig one side of the cage so that every time the dog goes to that side of the cage she will get an electrical shock.

Soon enough, the dog learns to stay on the other side of the cage.

Within a few weeks, the scientists re-wire the cage so that she’ll get shocked on the side she was conditioned to stay on pain-free. As predicted, the dog learns to lay down on the opposite, formerly electrified side of the cage.

Matt Lauer Helps Peter Cook Prove his Own Narcissism on the Today Show

I am so saddened that Matt Lauer gave Peter Cook an opportunity to interview this morning after he forced Ms. Brinkley to discuss their marriage yesterday when she obviously did not want to and made that very clear to Mr. Lauer at the beginning of the interview.

Despite my disappointment in Matt Lauer, I am very glad this interview was given because it just further proves Peter Cook's raging narcissism.

Ms. Brinkley has not been on a television show for four years and the only reason she chose to go on The Today Show was to discuss her upcoming role in "Chicago," but Matt Lauer did not give her that chance yesterday and instead took it to the gutter to stir the pot for his personal friend, Peter Cook.

Who is the Narcissist...Peter Cook or Christie Brinkley?

For most of my readers, the answer to this question is as obvious as day is light, but for those who may not know a great deal about pathological narcissism, I'd like to explain why Peter Cook is the obvious narcissist here.

For the first time in four years, Christie Brinkley agreed to talk about her divorce from Peter Cook on the Today Show Tuesday morning. Really, she wanted to talk about her upcoming role in "Chicago" the longest running show in Broadway history, but agreed to first briefly discuss the noise her ex-husband, Peter Cook, has been making lately in his crazy attempts to call her a narcissist.

Why the Narcissist Always Turns from Idolizing you to Utter Contempt

Unfortunately, once a Narcissist is victorious and secures your love, the idolization phase of the relationship passes and his true colors emerge. You begin to see the pathology of his personality and realize he merely put on an act in the beginning of the relationship to win and secure your love. He becomes demanding and angry, unaware that you have needs or a separate self at all. He simply finds it impossible to see you as an independent entity.

“Women know intuitively when they are being devalued."
~ Robyn Silverman

STEP 2; GET IT OUT

After we begin to Understand it; Step 1, we learn what a Narcissist is and how their disorder has affected us over these months or years and we realize that: THEIR behaviors and actions were not our fault and we did nothing to cause this. We learn that they were damaged LONG before we came along and will continue to be damaged LONG after we are gone.

This brings us to STEP 2, GET IT OUT

Once the fog begins to lift and we realize what was done to us and what we allowed to be done to us, due to severe "brainwashing: these repressed feelings need to come out. Writing is a great outlet for the sadness, anger, unrealized dreams, cognitive dissonance, severe loss, and pain.

Understanding the Narcissist's Madonna-Whore Complex

I've written much on this topic in my books and blogs before, but GreenGirl posted an article here that I must share with everyone because I think whenever we can hear different people's intepretations of the same thing, it helps tremendously.

Narcissists have intimacy issues and cannot see their partner in a healthy way. They are unable to see what most men dream of in a woman — someone who is both sweet and sexy at the same time. They cannot help categorizing people into one of two separate categories — saintly or sexy. They find it impossible to see someone as both. To them, someone is one or the other, but never both. This is what psychologists refer to as a Madonna-Whore Complex.

TO "M" AKA The Dog Whisperer

Good Bye Dog Whisperer.. "M"

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful Friend:
you have screwed up my life..
2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is, until I met your Mother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty, and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

This Valentine's Day...

This Valentine's Day...

27% of men said their romantic resolution is to have sex with the lights on
80% of people think they will get lucky this Valentine's Day
Less than 50% of people had good luck last year
40% of women want to try something new and kinky this Valentine’s Day
85% of women surveyed own a sex toy
57% of people in a new relationship (less than one year) talk about sex every day
50% of the population is single
54% of women say they are in a relationship, but it is not with their soul mate….WTF?!!

Every year we celebrate Valentine’s Day in our culture, but what is it we are really celebrating?