Narcissist Recovery Blog

Why we must Confront our Pain when Healing from a Narcissist

I am often asked when the grieving ends. Everyone is different. You can’t put a time frame on the healing process. What I do know is that the longer you avoid your pain, the longer it takes to recover. We must confront our pain and process it in order to heal and move on. Writing about it helps, expressing ourselves helps, meditating helps. All of these things help, but it is up to you to put these things in motion for yourself. No one else can do it for you and until you do, you will remain stuck. You will not thrive. It is your choice.

Pain is temporary. Pride is forever.

Happy Mother's Day!

My mother is not only the best mother in the world, but the best friend a girl could ever ask for and I am incredibly blessed to have her in my heart and soul. She is my best friend, my closest confidante, my role model, my rock and my inspiration. Mothers and daughters have a very special relationship.

I believe mothers reside in our heart and soul. Our mothers are the essence of us. We came to life in our mother’s womb and will hence always be a part of them. Our bodies are an extension of one another in the truest sense of the word. Our heart and soul are one in the same and always will be.

Why the Narcissist Chooses Us

If you’re like me, you have fallen for more than one Narcissist. As a result, I often ask myself why I’m attracted to these personality types and would like to understand why they are attracted to me.

In my opinion, the first part of this question is simple. It is easy to fall for a Narcissist. They are charming, witty and often the life of the party. They are the quintessential Alpha Male. To spend time with them is exciting and fun. There is an intensity about them that is indescribable. They possess a force that is magnetic. There is simply never a dull moment and they always keep you on your toes.

Why we Obsess about the Narcissist

People who have never experienced obsessive thoughts before suddenly find themselves obsessing about the narcissist, and don't understand why or where it is coming from. I can tell you. It is the result of Cognitive Dissonance, which is the difficulty of trying to hold two opposing thoughts or beliefs at the same time.

Cognitive Dissonance leads to obsessive thought because we are trying to make sense of a situation that makes no sense. How can I love something that I also hate? How can I be crazy in love with this person, but despise him at the same time? We remember the wonderful times, the good times and the person we thought we fell in love with and we miss him. We wonder what happened to him. Where did he go? Why did he disappear? What did I do wrong?

Narcissism in the Workplace

The Healthy Workplace Bill....What’s that, you ask?

Check it out:

Tomorrow I finish my training with the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) and I have to say, it has been an amazing experience! I have built strong relationships with courageous and inspiring people who want to speak out about bullying in the workplace like me. I have learned a great deal from the very wise Drs. Gary & Ruth Namie.

The Narcissist's Hoover Maneuver

Narcissists cannot be alone. Narcissists need people more than anyone. They have very specific reasons for being in relationships, but they are not built on the universal need we all have, which is to love.

Narcissists do not enter or stay in relationships for love. Their motives are quite different. They become involved in relationships in order to ensure their needs are met and someone is always present to provide them with the attention and adoration they require in order to feel alive.

Losing Ourselves in the Narcissist

I believe the key to our recovery is to find ourselves again. When coming out of a relationship with a Narcissist, the fundamental crux of our problem is that we have lost ourselves in the Narcissist. Trust me, the Narcissist counted on this.

By causing you to doubt and question yourself, the Narcissist ensures you remain dependent on him and lose any sense of identity you once had. The key to getting better is to see the Narcissist for who he is, accept it and find yourself again.

Why a Narcissist will Never Change

People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are rigid and often unaware that their thoughts and behavior patterns are inappropriate. Research indicates they are rarely the ones who come in for treatment. Instead, the spouse, significant other, children, and parents of the personality disordered are the ones who suffer and seek therapy. Narcissists do not typically seek treatment.
Furthermore, personality disorders begin in adolescence or early adulthood and do not change over time.

Narcissist or Sociopath? What's the difference?

Both the narcissist & the sociopath have absolutely no remorse and no conscience. They both view others as nothing more than objects to be used as a means to an end. However, the way they use others is what differentiates them.

A narcissist demands his sense of self be propped-up by others on a continual basis. This is because he is disconnected from himself and has no sense of self. Without validation and recognition from the outside world, a narcissist feels dead inside.

Why a Narcissist Inevitably Devalues & Discards (D&D) You

"Women know intuitively when they are being devalued."
~ Robyn Silverman

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist is like being on a roller-coaster ride that never ends. One moment, you feel loved, adored and cherished. The next, you feel devalued, discarded and abused. Narcissists have often been described as having a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. You never know what kind of mood a Narcissist is going to be in and you certainly never know how he is going to treat you. A Narcissist is unpredictable and unstable. You are always walking on eggshells around him.

What We Can Learn from Charlie Sheen's Narcissism

My second book, “Surviving a Narcissist” will be coming out in a few weeks. I am frequently asked how to get over a Narcissist. While there is no magic pill, you CAN and you WILL survive. Recovery is possible.

Our forum is full of great ideas and suggestions from members getting over these emotionally abusive partnerships. Based on the collective wisdom of this amazing group, dedicated forum moderators, personal experience and lots of research, I have developed "The Six Steps to Surviving a Narcissist."

The first step in recovery is to understand the pathology of someone who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Step One: Understand It

We educate ourselves on the personality of a Narcissist. Knowledge is power!