Narcissist Recovery Blog

Beware of the: NARC ATTACK; A Narcissists Revenge ~Goldie

You are in early recovery or new recovery after a slip. You have made it through the hardest part, or so you thought. He or She is now out of your life and you are ready to go NO CONTACT for the first time or again. In new recovery for most of us, one part of the day we are empowered and feeling like we are getting ourselves back and the other part is pure torture.

The knowing in one part of your brain that it is a no win situation and then of course the emotional part kicks in and the bittersweet sadness, longing, and physical withdrawal. Cognitive dissonance. These relationships are like an addict with their drug and most describe the withdrawal as a physical aching and pain.

A big welcome to all of you joining or visiting our forum for female PD's/It's All About Her

This is fantastic Lisa,

We now we have a place of healing here where we can reach both men and women. Also we do address ALL the personality disorders. I will include a link so you can read a more detailed description of the other PD's and as Lisa said there are more diagnoised male narcissists. Women traditionally tend to be more borderline and histrionic.

Most all of the PD's do in fact include Narcissistic features and components, therefore, you may see the narcissistic traits in them as well. Also a PD can have traits of other PD's without necessarily having that disorder full blown. They usually have a primary diagnosis and then can have features of one or more of the other PD's. This is why it is important to read the links and see what fits for the PD whom you know.

OMG, Lisa E. Scott, you had me in tears

Lisa, my dear,

You are truly gifted with the art of writing, and coming from a family of published writers; that is a HUGE compliement from me.

I particularly loved this comment and this is WHY I am loyal and devoted to this site and cause:

"We're ruffling some feathers and I like it!" Lisa E. Scott

I also want to ruffle some feathers. Enough is enough of how women are being treated in the year: 2011. This needs to stop and this needs to stop NOW and I am privledged to be a part of bringing this awareness and healing to others and myself.

We are in a position as AMERICAN women who are healing and becoming the POWERFUL, self actualized women whom GOD himself intended us to be.

Have you read the bible where it refers to women as the HEART of the household.

Why the Narcissist Cannot Accept Our Love

I just received the following message from Nemesis and with her permission, am sharing it with all of you as I feel it is very profound and should help many of us better understand why the narcissist simply cannot accept our love.

"It's really complicated - I had to do loads of reading about it before I could even begin to understand it and make it sink in. But from what I've read, I understand that they really can't handle someone loving them.

For those of us also recovering from childhood trauma/PTSD

My response to a member going through the "growing pains" of change and self awareness, the letting go of the hopes and dreams and feeling those gut level emotions of intense grief and loss:

Each step and stage has many levels of emotions and awarenesss. I can remember sobbing from the depths of my soul for days when I realized how very sick he was (my X PD) and that he could NEVER be for me or give me what I wanted and needed.

I equated this with my Dad, brother, and many other men I had tried to get something from who had nothing to give to me.

Relationships with Narcissist Addicts

I believe the problem lies in the fact that most women and (men) in codependent relationships with PD addicts have no real clue that they are being manipulated on a daily basis by a pro. How do you suppose they maintain their addictions AND manage to have a beautiful girl who turns a deaf ear and turns away with her eyes and instincts to what is actually going on???

My life with M

The Lies Which Nearly Drove Me to the
Brink of Insanity

I lost myself in his tangled webb of deception.

Lies, Lies, Lies, reality is slipping away.

I am tired; I am losing my truth; my way.

Who am I with him? Who am I without him?

Help me; how do I get away? How do I get him out; he won't leave me?

Take my house, take my car, take my credit cards, just don't take my soul.

My light is growing dim, I am tired, I can't fight back anymore.

Dear God; please make him leave. He won't leave.

The police think it is a joke; I called them 11 times and they laugh in my face.

He leaves; he goes to jail. He comes back to torture me again.

He begins to sniff white powder and turns into Satan, the devil himself.

My Goodbye Letter to M

Dear M,

As you and I both know, this relationship is no longer filling either one of our needs. The time has come to part company on all levels. This includes having you in my mind, body, and soul.

I can no longer fill your need for me to cater to your every whim, put my life on a back burner for yours, listen to your insults, lies, manipulations, mind games, cons, engage in your sexual perversions, remain in financial ruin, and sell my soul to the devil.

You no longer fill my need to mother a little boy, try to control the actions of an irresponsible wreckless self centered soul snatching coward, clean up your messes.

Why is the Bachelorette Falling for the Bad Boy?!

Ok, I can’t help myself. I indulge in reality television on Monday nights. It’s one of my guilty pleasures.
“Dancing with the Stars” because it’s a real competition and “The Bachelorette” because, well…..I am fascinated by human behavior.

Perhaps this is why I love teaching Organizational Behavior at Loyola University. Believe it or not, the instructor materials which accompany the textbook I’ve been assigned include powerpoint slides on the topic of Cognitive Dissonance.

Last week was my first class and I was so excited to educate the students on what Cognitive Dissonance means and why it causes us so much emotional distress.

Why We Must "Wake Up" to Recover from the Narcissist

Waking up and finding clarity is the key to our recovery. We fall hard for the Narcissist. We are in total bliss in the beginning. We can't believe we finally found our soul mate - he is everything we ever wanted in a man and more.

When his true colors start to show, we do everything we can to avoid acknowledging them. We don't want to admit that this man is not who we thought he was. Why would we want to admit this? I know I didn't want to - I spent 8 years banging my head against the wall blaming everything on myself, but why?

WHY do WE put up with their cruel treatment towards us?

Since this last breakup I have been looking at things from a different perspective. Last time it was more about what was wrong with him. Now it is more about what in me ALLOWED this into my precious life.

This time I am looking at what in me attracted him in the first place and what in me put up with the repeated incidences of unacceptable, insensitive, often cruel, behavior towards me.

Previously with most guys, I would never put up with any of this and if anything, I was the one in control in those relationships. I had some boundaries. Yet, I also never felt about them the way I feel about this one. Why was it different with him?

Why did I allow him to almost completely destroy my life, only to take him back?