Don't be Afraid to Cry

I noticed some talk on the forum today about crying. Please know there should be absolutely no shame in crying. In fact, it is our body's natural response to pain. It is the body's natural medicine!

It is critical to process our feelings. We should not repress our emotions and must confront our experience. If we do not, we will remain stuck in a state of pain.

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain."
~Carl Jung

I spent many years in this state, which I refer to as my “dark period.” Eckhart Tolle refers to this state of being as the “pain body.” In his groundbreaking book, The Power of Now, he explains how the pain body is actually afraid of the light of consciousness. Its survival is dependent on your unconscious fear of facing the pain that lives in you.

In other words, you will remain in a state of pain, darkness or unhappiness as long as you continue to lie to yourself and deny your reality. Resistance is what keeps us stuck in the unconscious realm. Tolle believes the more you resist the present moment, the more pain you create within yourself.

In my opinion, the only true path to enlightenment is to drop all inner resistance and be honest with ourselves. We must allow ourselves to feel our feelings and not be ashamed. When you give a feeling full expression, it diminishes its power and brings about a transformation. Once you acknowledge and express the feeling, it causes the feeling to subside, as it can’t go on forever.

We must not be afraid to cry. It’s an emotional release, which is good for us. Poets have known this for years:

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.”
~ Charles Dickens

“Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it."
~Albert Smith

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
~William Shakespeare

Fortunately, science is now confirming such statements. Recent research confirms that crying is good for us because it cleanses our system of toxins and waste, reduces tension and increases our body’s ability to heal itself.

Alan Wolfelt Ph.D., a professor at the University of Colorado Medical School, has measured the chemical benefits of crying and states:

“In my clinical experience with thousands of mourners, I have observed changes in physical (appearance) following the expression of tears…Not only do people feel better after crying ; they also look better.”

The kind of tears our eyes produce for moisture to remove dust or sand and the kind that we produce by crying are chemically different. Crying tears are made-up of manganese. In fact, crying tears are thirty times richer in manganese than blood is, for example. According to biochemists, manganese is only one of three chemicals that are stored up by stress and flushed out by a good cry.

In the school of nursing at Marquette University, nurses are asked not to immediately provide tranquilizers to weeping patients. Instead, they are encouraged to allow the tears to do their own therapeutic work. Dr. Margaret Crepeau, professor of nursing at Marquette states:

“Laughter and tears are two inherent natural medicines whereby we can reduce duress, let out negative feelings and recharge. They truly are the body’s own best resources.”

Studies find that men die sooner than women after any major stressful or traumatic experience. A man’s refusal to feel his feelings and his determination to repress emotions is thought to contribute to this statistic, which lends further support to my belief that we "Gotta Get it Out" in order to heal.

Apr 19 - 9AM
blessingindisguise's picture


Lisa, your talent for "hitting the nail on the head" is such a blessing to all of us. I believe the truth does set us free. The tears that come from facing the truth and the pain that follows is how we are on the road to healing. Thank you for giving us the truth and wisdom in dealing with our reality.