Putting this out there....

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#1 April 11, 2012 - 6:53am
bgirl
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Putting this out there....

I feel so incredibly sad tonight....really, really sad.

I've been thinking about the advice from so many gorgeous women on here...that it is ok to speak your truth...it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...so here goes.

My husband and children are watching tv together. Tonight I can't even sit with them. I have to force myself to be part of that picture and tonight it has gotten the best of me....

I told my husband I was in love with someone else.

The someone else turned out to be a psychopath.

The psychopath pursued me, seduced me, destroyed me.

I've been NC for 14 months. I have been in therapy for this entire time...sometimes 3 times per week.

When I posted my story here I titled it ' He has destroyed me....don't think I am strong enough to recover.'

And you know what....I don't think I am.

So for all individuals seeking karma on the OW. I was the OW....and I truly don't think I'll make this. I wonder if this symbolize what many of you are hoping for in each of your scenarios.....

I was honest with everyone but the facts remain don't they?

The woman is always blamed. The man is forgiven or excused.
The woman is a slut. The man is just weak.
The woman is forever condemned. The man given chance after chance after chance.

Going back to my old life, or not giving my husband transparency to make future life choices for himself was never my option.

I truly loved M.
I didn't know it was a game.
I am not an intellectual idiot or a 'ho' but I am an emotionally starved, abused individual who was absolutely craving love, affection and the chance to be myself and be accepted.

It is very hard to accept yourself when the world is filled with hypocrisy, judgement and vilification.
It just is.

So I really don't know if I'm strong enough. No pity play. This is my truth and I'm entitled to it.

I hope this helps someone else struggling....because you are not alone xxx

X
B

April 22, 2012 - 9:17pm
fallingfoward
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Ahhhh bgirl....

April 22, 2012 - 9:53pm (Reply to #25)
bgirl
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Thank u beautiful

April 22, 2012 - 5:53pm
mirrorshaker
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just seeing this

April 12, 2012 - 1:27am
Journey
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Sending out a big virtual hug

Journey on...

April 11, 2012 - 9:49pm
Lookonthesunnyside
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Bgirl Im so sorry you're

April 11, 2012 - 8:37pm
Renegade
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I want to be YOU

April 11, 2012 - 8:57pm (Reply to #20)
bgirl
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Nooooooo! Lol XxxxxxxxxxX B

April 11, 2012 - 7:23pm
Deestarr
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Positive thoughts

April 11, 2012 - 11:45am
Goldie
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My dear Bgirl

April 11, 2012 - 7:30pm (Reply to #11)
bgirl
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Thank you very very much to

April 12, 2012 - 12:36am (Reply to #15)
bgirl
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PS: New You are

April 12, 2012 - 1:45am (Reply to #16)
phantom adoration
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The adult in your life

April 12, 2012 - 1:58am (Reply to #17)
bgirl
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Love you Phantom...like your

April 11, 2012 - 8:01pm (Reply to #12)
phantom adoration
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Hey there

April 11, 2012 - 8:30pm (Reply to #13)
bgirl
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Thank you so much...I'm

April 11, 2012 - 9:47pm (Reply to #14)
Janie53
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Bg

April 11, 2012 - 10:33am
midnight7
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Dear bgirl, perception is all

April 11, 2012 - 9:29am
Armed
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Ive never blamed the OW in

April 11, 2012 - 9:24am
MrsD3
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Not that my two cents

April 11, 2012 - 8:43am
phantom adoration
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OW

April 11, 2012 - 7:25am
patricia barely...
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Hey sweetie...I love that

April 11, 2012 - 7:22am
Used
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bgirl

April 11, 2012 - 7:05am
neverlookback
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I think you should ask yourself

April 11, 2012 - 7:05am
Sparrow
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Accepting yourself is hard.

April 11, 2012 - 7:38am
Janie53
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BGirl