Goodbye Letter

I apologise for this being so long, but there was alot to come to terms with. I hope it helps others in recognising the signs. I'm still reeling at how I let this happen to me but I am setting new boundaries and have found a way to love myself. Take care everyone.

The better part of me would like to say that I hope this letter reaches you in good health, but to be honest I hope your life is shit. I hope that you are struggling in your life now I am no longer about to help you out and I hope the house is a mess and the garden overgrown like when I first arrived on the scene.

Hi,

The way you react to things is extreme and not normal, everything has to be on your terms, or not at all. You say you want a family yet the gym is the focal point of your day, you moan and bitch about me to your friends, talk to me on the phone yet rarely make time to see me.

There's no passion or enthusiasm on every level yes every level and that ain't normal either especially at your age- anything that upsets you (most things) you need a 2 week break so your ego can think you have power and control. The way you talk to me shows a complete lack of emotional intelligence and I dread to think of how you would speak to a child if they were to say something that isn't to your liking.

Fumbling through this

What was your intentions when getting married ? Was it to prove to people you weren't defunct and someone was capable of loving you ? A box ticking exercise to prove to people you are at the place in life you should be at your age?

What was your intentions in telling me that the marriage wasn't over when you first broke the news you didn't know how you felt anymore ? Was it to keep me around long enough while you locked in your new boyfriend ? God forbid you should spend a few weeks alone.

Is this what you call fumbling through this ?

I spent nearly 7 years with this man... This is my journal entry, of our ending.
B… cheated on me (met her in August and we were together until the second week of September) He had one of his typical rants (if life isn’t all about him he shuts down, but he would always come back)- we saw each other off and on for a few weeks-and then one day he left as usual, no drama, no breakup, and I just never heard from him again.

Abraham,
This letter has been almost 12 months in the making. I thought it would be fitting to write it on Memorial Day, which is reserved for veterans like you. Oh but wait, you are a disgrace to the U.S. military, and are not deserving of consideration on this day. This day is reserved for real men of honor, not little boys who cheat on and physically and emotionally abuse their girlfriend.

Dear Block Head,
Yes, surprise !! You are BLOCKED from contacting me.... FOREVER !! Yes, some things really are FOREVER ! Not only that, if I think of you at all, I will exchange those thoughts with the word BLOCKED... I know that your little fragile ego, can not handle being BLOCKED.... Awww, too bad little prince... too bad baby, too bad you classless clown, too bad you piece of shit.... too bad you worthless sack of crap, too bad you lousy lover, too bad your cheap fuck, too back you married scoundrel, too bad you worthless drunk, too bad you lying,manipulating idiot.

Dear kitequeen,

Dear "M",

Vampire, time to say goodbye to you. And good riddance too. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had any contact whatsoever and to be honest, it feels good! When we first met, you were on your best behavior. Your “sweet nothings”, being almost on-time, the affection you showed me, your innocent manner and our physical relationship were incredible. To a man who is mentally struggling with aging, I was in heaven, at least for a bit. Once you had me hooked though the real you started coming out. You were always, always late, sometimes not showing up at all.

Saying goodbye was always so painful. The thought was heartwrenching. I realised today that had I been real with my feelings. True to myself, you wouldn't have been able to manipulate me. I was always the bad person. Who didn't understand you. Who wasn't patient enuff. I believed you. I felt shame. How could I have been so mean. How dare I have feelings wants needs and desires. How dare I put my needs ahead of your own. So I didn't. I died inside. My self esteem crying out for validation. Instead I got the opposite. De valued. Well mr narc.