u controlled me long enough. goodbye Doug

Saying goodbye was always so painful. The thought was heartwrenching. I realised today that had I been real with my feelings. True to myself, you wouldn't have been able to manipulate me. I was always the bad person. Who didn't understand you. Who wasn't patient enuff. I believed you. I felt shame. How could I have been so mean. How dare I have feelings wants needs and desires. How dare I put my needs ahead of your own. So I didn't. I died inside. My self esteem crying out for validation. Instead I got the opposite. De valued. Well mr narc. I don't need you to validate me anymore. I don't need you to conditionally love me as long as I feed your ego and support u through your self pitty from the trail of destruction u left in your past. I no longer need to go to your house and beg u and apologize for feeling insecure and seeking validation. If I built you up you came back. Like a drug I was happy. High as a kite. If I dared to disagree or ask anything, I would come down off that high. You were an addiction. My whole soul and wellbeing relied on you. I break free. Today. I will build myself up and I will get my self worth that u sensed I didn't have from the get go. I will. I will never ever ever be treated like such a piece of dirt again. Ever. I feel free. My anxiety is disappearing. I don't care what you think of me anymore. I am finished with feeding you. Finished with you managing down my expecations and finished with blaming myself. I no longer live eat and breath you. I no longer care what you are doing. I let go. Free. Good bye.