The Path Forward Forum

Carolyn pointed something out to me that I’d like to get everyone’s thoughts on.

National statistics on the prevalence of pathological narcissism are low – reports indicate less than 4 percent of the population. I have a hard time believing only 4% of people are narcissists when every person I know has met or dated one!

Now, this may be a direct result of the fact that I’m writing and talking about this subject all the time or it may be a result of the fact that narcissism falls on a spectrum. We all have narcissistic tendencies, but to the far right end of the spectrum you will find the pathological narcissist who is a rare breed, in and of himself.

Hi everyone!!

Well, here’s my story. I am right now going through a divorce from a 10 year marriage with a narcissist. When I married him I was 23 years old, I had no knowledge about personality disorders. He was truly “prince charming”, I just fell in love with him, he had all the things I wanted in a man; I met him in church; he met all the requirements in “my checklist”. In just a couple of months after dating, he told me he wanted to marry me, and I accepted. I grew up with an abusive father, so the thought of having someone so nice and loving - felt so good.

Wow. This site is great. I am not married to my Narcissist...I am married to an emotionally abusive alcoholic. A very sad girl...who met someone wonderful online, someone who really understood me and wanted to protect me and love me forever, to save me from my pain and misery...IOW...a total narcissist.

I recently broke off contact completely (12 days ago)..although we were "just friends" by then anyway. I have struggled getting over this relationship...but the more I learn about this, the more I am realizing I am probably lucky this man didn't totally destroy my life.

My husband is a severe narcissist. Was diagnosed by a Court Psychologist, during a divorce, and I found out by chance, during a custody hearing. Anxiety and depression meds. helps tremendously, if they take them. Of course he denies the accuracy of diagnosis due to not being done by a real psychiatrist, but believe me, he has all the characteristics. I work in mental health, but never knew about this, even college course in Abnormal Psych didn't go into it. It's like anxiety disorder, bi-polar, borderline personality plus all wrapped into one.

Yesterday I finally realised that I have been in an emotional and verbally abusive marriage for some years. My husband always very cleverly turned everything around and blamed everything on me, everything was my fault. He started out as the man of my dreams slowly turning to my worst nightmare.

I cannot believe I got played and he knowingly treated me so badly. He withdrew from me emotionally, never a hug, a kiss anything and when I asked why he said "if I was nicer to him" he would give me affection.

For those of you in a relationship with a narcissist, it is my hope this website, blog and messageboard will provide the support you need right now to take the necessary steps to reclaim your life and stop letting a narcissist control you. You may be in a romantic relationship with a narcissist or you may have the misfortune of reporting to one at work. I have experienced both and want others to share their stories so we may build a community of support on this website to help each other break free and move on.

Hi Lisa,
I just wanted to say how thankful I am for all you are doing to help others get past their experiences with toxic Narcissists. It helps so much that you know what you are talking about and have been there yourself. Keep up the awesome work!!!!!!

Interesting article on narcissists. Click on link below to read. I would love to hear your thoughts!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27086365/

Been seeing a man for six months. He was madly in love with me, wildly attentive in bed. Told me it gave him so much pleasure to please me sexually. Wrote e-mails saying I was like his first and only love. Wanted a monogamous relationship very early on. Told me he loved me very early on in our relationship. Gazed at me. Complimented me.

Over the months he's been less and less attentive to making me happy in bed. Mentioned that sexual desire was like a lunatic that distracted him. Wants to make love now usually in the dark. Complains of being tired and of not having as much libido as me. All the expressions of love, except for saying I love you at the end of telephone conversations and ends of e-mails have ended.