Narcissist Recovery Blog

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The Distinction Between Victim-Blaming and Owning Our Agency

I'm very happy to be sharing a guest blog from Shahida Arabi on the important topic of victim-blaming as I believe SELF-COMPASSION to be paramount to our recovery from a narcissist. Please share and help others find their path to recovery!

Shahida Arabi is a graduate student at Columbia University and the author of The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care, a bestselling Kindle book also available in print. Her interests include psychology, sociology, education, gender studies and mental health advocacy. You can check out her new blog, Self-Care Haven, for topics related to mindfulness, mental health, narcissistic abuse and recovery from emotional trauma.

The Smart Girl's Guide to Self-Care -->

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When It's All About Her - Surviving the Female Narcissist

Are you in a relationship with a woman obsessed with her image? Is she consumed with her needs to the exclusion of all others? Do you feel you can do nothing right in her eyes no matter what lengths you go to please her? Is it…ALL ABOUT HER…all the time?

Have you suddenly found yourself in a relationship with a woman you no longer recognize? A woman you no longer understand? Is she obsessed with her image and consumed with her needs to the exclusion of all others, including you? Does everything seem to be ALL ABOUT HER all the time?

If so, you may be in a relationship with a female narcissist. “It’s All About Her” will help you understand the personality of a narcissist and why a relationship with someone like this will eventually drain, exhaust and confound you.

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What I learned along the way.....about love.

Today's Valentine's Day Blog comes to us from a guest blogger we are honored to share with you. Her name is Zizi and she is (No Longer) Spinning's Aunt!

Zizi has an amazing blog at:

which I encourage all of you to visit. The blog below is one of many empowering and inspirational blogs by Zizi.

Zizi has a great wealth of wisdom to share and I feel the blog below has a particularly important message for all of us here to remember, not only today, but every day.

February 14, 2014
by Zizi @

What I learned along the way.....about love.

Daughters of my heart.....and others,

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!, the day we celebrate love in its many forms.

Lisa E. Scott's picture

Charlie & The Female Narcissist

Charlie and Monica had been together several months and Monica was still going to dinner with other men on a regular basis. Despite wanting Charlie to put a ring on her finger, Monica did not understand why Charlie had an issue with the fact that she needed to have dinner with other men once or twice a week. She told him if she didn’t continue to see these other men, whom she swore were just friends, she would feel smothered and stifled by him.

Not only did she expect him to accept this without question, but he was never invited to join these dinners. For almost 8 months, Charlie put up with Monica going out to dinner in NYC with other men, most of whom she once dated and were obviously attempting to win her over.

Lisa E. Scott's picture

Obsessing About the Narcissist

Anyone who has ever been hurt by a narcissist knows the pain lasts a long time. People tell us to just get over it and move on, but it’s not that simple. In order to heal from the aftermath of a narcissist, we must obsess about it before we can truly move on. Below are six reasons why:


Before we can even think of moving on, we must educate ourselves on the pathology of the narcissist’s personality. Only then, can we truly understand we did nothing to bring about their sudden change in behavior from extreme over-valuation to total devaluation.

We must understand and accept that the eventual neglect and abuse experienced in a relationship with a narcissist is inevitable and realize they will keep coming back to give us more until we put a stop to it.

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An Attitude of Gratitude After the Narcissist?#@!

The happiest people do not have the best of everything, they make the best of everything.

We've all heard that an "Attitude of Gratitude" can change your life. Thanksgiving is a perfect time to explore this and be grateful for life's lessons.

We cannot control what happens to us in life, but we can control how we respond to it, right? How we respond, in my opinion, is what makes all the difference in the world.

When coming out of a relationship with an abusive narcissist, we face a huge amount of uncertainty.

Did he ever love me?
Will he ever change?
Will he try to win me back?