Ever wonder why your guy can't seem to understand you?

Is he avoiding real intimacy?
Obsessed with his image?
Incapable of empathizing with you?

Well, when your man is a narcissist, it has nothing to do with you... It's All About Him.

Have you tried to return things to the way they were in the beginning of the relationship? Do you wonder what happened to the wonderful man you initially met?

What you need to understand is that if your man is a narcissist, he has perfected the art of charm and seduction and will use it to lure you in, win you over, and secure your love and attention.

Unfortunately, once you commit to a narcissist, he no longer maintains this pretend image. You wonder what happened to the man you fell in love with, and try to figure out what you did to make things go so awry.

It is important for you to know, YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. Do not be upset with yourself for believing he was something he's not. Narcissists are brilliant actors/seducers and can win anyone over.

I want you to understand the three reasons a narcissist seeks out a relationship:

To ensure he always has someone present to:

~ Cater to his needs
~ Stroke his ego
~ Control and manipulate

In the beginning, narcissists are fun, exciting, appear overly caring and compassionate, and seem to adore the ground you walk on. Unfortunately, this is all an act.

Once you commit to a narcissist, the act ends. His true colors emerge. You no longer recognize the man you've committed your life to anymore. You realize the man you fell in love with is not the man you thought he was at all. It's a huge blow to your system and can leave you doubting everything you ever believed.

But now what? Now that you are in a serious relationship with him or perhaps even married, what should you do?

Well, the first thing you need to do is talk to others who understand what you're going through. Our messageboard is full of strong, intelligent, compassionate women who have been or are in a relationship with a narcissist and trying to break free and make sense of it all.

My ex-husband joked from day one that he was a narcissist. I didn't think much of it. I knew he was confident and thought there was nothing more to it. It wasn't until eight years into our relationship and certain events occurred in my life that I finally looked into the true meaning of narcissism. What I learned changed my life. It helped me understand his behavior and realize I could do nothing to change it. In life, there are times when we must accept the fact that the only person we can change is ourselves.

My book is a quick-read to help you understand why a narcissist behaves the way he does. I believe once you understand a narcissist, you will be better equipped to look at your relationship and make an honest assessment of it.

We can't bury our head in the sand and deny reality forever. At some point, we must face the music. A narcissist is counting on the hope that we will never face the truth. They actually try to keep us brainwashed and questioning ourselves so that we will never question them. Why? Because narcissists are dependent on a significant other to provide the praise and admiration they crave. They are addicted to attention. Their life revolves around finding new ways to be noticed or recognized. Without outside validation, they feel dead inside because they have no inner sense of self. They disconnected from their true self years ago.

A narcissist initially relys on you to provide all of his ego-stroking and validation, also known as "Narcissistic Supply." Unfortunately, over time a narcissist will eventually grow bored and seek out a new source of "Narcissistic Supply." It is inevitable. He will withdraw from you and start to belittle and criticize everything you do. Nothing you do is good enough. You have gone from being put on a pedestal and idolized to the point of total discard and devaluation.

In his mind, you are merely there to stroke his ego if he doesn't get enough attention from the outside world that day. The rest of the time, he resents you for tying him down and has little respect for you because he knows he has brainwashed you into putting up with his emotional abuse.

I know what you're going through as do the many kind-hearted women on my messageboard. We want to help you understand why a narcissist does what he does. Most importantly, we want to help you realize you have done NOTHING wrong. It has nothing to do with you and it is in no way your fault that you're in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man you no longer recognize. Trust me, It's All About Him.

You cannot change a narcissist, but you can take steps to make changes in your life that will make you happier. I believe that is our goal... to accept what we cannot change and change what we can. We have the ability to grow and evolve, which is a beautiful thing. We are responsible for the choices we make in life and we can choose to be happy or we can choose to remain a victim. I choose to be happy and I hope you will join me in my journey.