1. Home
  2. Resources
  3. Working the Steps?

Working the Steps?

Hello and welcome to The Path Forward. My name is Goldie and I am the forum's lead moderator. I am available to assist you with the 6 Steps of recovery from a relationship with a Narcissist. This process is often painful and many are left with unanswered questions and a sense of "What just hit me?" "How can I be feeling this badly when I was "so loved" in the beginning?" and "How can I get my life back on track and recover from this confusing, painful ordeal?"

You must remember you have done nothing wrong, but believe in the good nature of another person. Unfortunately, this person has shown their true colors and you are now left with many questions. This section of the forum is devoted to answering your questions because we know you have many.

Here we will talk about what it means to be "Working the Steps" and the different recovery tools we find helpful in healing from a relationship with a Narcissist. Allowing yourself to process and feel your emotions through creative outlets as well as writing your "Goodbye Letter" are important aspects of the 6 Step Recovery process we believe with help you on the path forward. Please post your questions here and I will respond. Many of the questions which you have will also be helpful to other members. We are glad you found our community of support and can assure you that being here is the first step on the Path Forward.

Members, submit your question to Goldie!

How can I help my daughter to see her bf's true colours?

Wayofthesun's picture
Submitted by Wayofthesun on Apr 16 - 3AM

My 19 year old daughter has been madly (!) in love with a 22 year old narc for nearly 2 years. He bowled her over from day 1 and charmed me and my husband too. Only my son (17) saw through him immediately, but we didn't believe him!

This N even told me straight out once that he can be narcissistic and that he doesn't like being ignored! This got me reading on the subject as by this stage, there were quite a few alarm bells ringing...

Our only saving grace is that it is a LDR-however he is in almost constant contact with her every day and whenever he comes to stay (which is often), it is chaotic and difficult to get him to stick to agreed on dates.He really makes himself at home too, overly so!

Why did he end things after leading me on only days before he finally ended it? Is he done for good or will he show his face again?

Harper03's picture
Submitted by Harper03 on Apr 15 - 9AM

Why did my ex fiance N tell me how sure he was about me, "obsessed," in love but then days later end things over the phone and tell me he never felt good about the engagement, we want different things (after claiming we wanted the same things for 5 years) and we have nothing in common? I was pressing him about certain incidents that happened and wanted him to come clean and show me he was trustworthy. He didn't like me bringing this up constantly but it is hardly a reason to end an engagement.

Help me understand.

4siegel's picture
Submitted by 4siegel on Apr 11 - 7PM

My marriage therapist says my husband has OCPD and Narcissitic Personality disorder. After reading your site and other sites, I don't see it. He can be very selfish and self centered at times but he is not abusive the way you describe in this forum.
He is passive aggressive and has a superior way about him but he is also extremely generous and kind. He gets mean when you try and talk relationship issues and he can't handle emotions but he is nice all other times. He is definitely self absorbed and focused on hisself first an he is not as giving as me but he is not an ass. He can be an ass but he can be a nice guy too. He is very successful and very well liked. He is loved by everyone. He is very humble too. Help me understand. Can he have a minor case?

Why Do I Keep Giving Up My Power?

SunBlossom's picture
Submitted by SunBlossom on Mar 23 - 3PM

Hi Goldie,

I know I'm doing the right thing by trying to heal myself. I found a therapist and begin my first session tomorrow morning. I joined this forum, am reading Lisa's book and blocked his numbers from call me (until he somehow conned me to take them off). I pray an awful lot to get over him and I believe I want to have a true loving relationship in the future.

My question is, why do I feel so bad? Why do I allow him to manipulate me, even when I feel I am being strong? I blocked his phone numbers and he went crazy calling me from other people's phones. I finally decided to pick it up and give him a piece of my mind. I felt good and I felt like a giant. At the end of the conversation, he asked me to take the blocks off becasue there is no need for that.

how can he be an N

cant smile without you's picture
Submitted by cant smile with... on Mar 19 - 6PM

dont all N's begg for you back or call and harasse you. its not that i want this to happen dont get me wrong. he used to do this or wait for me to go back. but now there is someone else there is nothing at all. does this mean he is just a normal guy and has moved on. it was me that made him act out in those way
.
confused x

What would you do?

Twanda51's picture
Submitted by Twanda51 on Mar 19 - 1AM

This is my first post. I haven't told my story. I'll make it short and sweet, this sick sociopath has destroyed everything I ever believed in, and told his daughter that he was going to do everything he could to break me, and he nearly has...the only thing that saved my life is the court therapist who stepped in and recommended supervised visitation which was getting counseling in her office with his daughter...we have not heard a word since until last month she turned 18 (but still has 5 months of school left)before graduating.

help. will he change with his new girlfriend, was it just me he is this way with ?

cant smile without you's picture
Submitted by cant smile with... on Mar 17 - 3PM

for five years we have been on and off. He beat me abused me gave me love gave me everything he was my whole life and he knew it. every friend and family memeber abandoned me becasue they could not me waste away to nothing with him. now i am alone, all alone with three older kids from my first marraige of which i left mt husband now my ex husband for this body bulider waste of a man that i still love. I have been NC for 1 week we broke up early jan allthough he is now with the new girl he was cheating on me with. he has cheated and lied with others throughout our entire relationship.