Working the Steps?

Hello and welcome to The Path Forward. My name is Goldie and I am the forum's lead moderator. I am available to assist you with the 6 Steps of recovery from a relationship with a Narcissist. This process is often painful and many are left with unanswered questions and a sense of "What just hit me?" "How can I be feeling this badly when I was "so loved" in the beginning?" and "How can I get my life back on track and recover from this confusing, painful ordeal?"

You must remember you have done nothing wrong, but believe in the good nature of another person. Unfortunately, this person has shown their true colors and you are now left with many questions. This section of the forum is devoted to answering your questions because we know you have many.

Here we will talk about what it means to be "Working the Steps" and the different recovery tools we find helpful in healing from a relationship with a Narcissist. Allowing yourself to process and feel your emotions through creative outlets as well as writing your "Goodbye Letter" are important aspects of the 6 Step Recovery process we believe with help you on the path forward. Please post your questions here and I will respond. Many of the questions which you have will also be helpful to other members. We are glad you found our community of support and can assure you that being here is the first step on the Path Forward.

Members, submit your question to Goldie!
davskiss's picture

Can he ever get better?

February 21, 2012 - 1:41am — davskiss

Hi Goldie,
Can he ever get better? He seems so convincing with his words. He talks for about 2 hours each night. He won’t let me sleep, think, eat or even take a bath or shower without invading my personal space and trying to convince me that he is a changed person. I told him that I'm leaving him and he seems like he is hurt, and desperate to get me to stay. He sure knows how to make me think he is getting better "through" GOD. Is this typical, he seems so normal??....my head is spinning.

Davia

Emmy2002's picture

Will ex-n show up for therapy to fix his relationship with my son?

February 14, 2012 - 11:45pm — Emmy2002

I have a question about my ex-N. He was told by the courts he cannot have visitation with our son for 6 months till he goes for therapy. The courts also told him HE is to go for the therapy & if/when our son is wanting to see him the therapist will let the courts know.(My son is in counseling due to his father. ) Then they will start to have sessions together. Well the ex-N being the way he is made an appointment with the clinic & told them he has a session with his son & therapist. The clinic knows what is going on & when the ex-N showed up they explained that he was to get therapy first before he can even attempt to start sessions with our son. He insisted there was a court order, there wasn't. He told the receptionist he will be back with papers from his lawyer.

Dizzy2's picture

Is he different?

February 2, 2012 - 3:32pm — Dizzy2

He told me he had narcissistic tendencies.

I called him out after 3 months of the roller coaster. He said he was diagnosed bipolar 2 yers ago and was going to get help because he wanted to stop treating poeple like sh**.

He went to a therapist who told him he wasn't bipolar he was depressed and had narcissistic tendencies. He just told me this before Christmas. I didn't know what it meant. He said he liked this guy because the therapist said he wasn't going to sugar coat anything.

narcfreeinms's picture

Difference between a smart narc and a not-so-smart narc?

February 2, 2012 - 10:40am — narcfreeinms

Is there a noticeable difference between a smart narc and a no-so-smart narc? Would it be in how they cover their tracks, not think about how they might get caught on Facebook, etc.? OR do all narcs (smart and dumb) not care whether they get caught because they're so self-absorbed to care? Just curious if there are levels of being a smart or dumb narc...

oceangirl's picture

narcspeak

January 23, 2012 - 3:43pm — oceangirl

How do they all say the same/similar things? Does any other group in society say the same things (not to include friends in a social setting, or a group of teenages)?
The "Speak" is bizarre, awful, yet fascinating how it works.

Oceangirl

azconfused's picture

Is this "normal"

January 22, 2012 - 3:15pm — azconfused

My relationship was brief 5 months, I found myself looking for answers because I really thought I was losing my mind. This man changed right before my eyes. I guess what I'm asking in reading the posts and blogs that as soon as I am convinced that he is a Narc I mean text book but then I read something that maybe doesnt fit or I read something and hear his words telling me all the things I did wrong it's like he was trying to peg me as a Narc and that I was so scared of. Do you think this is normal?

knowregretz's picture

Do they really know what they are doing?

January 18, 2012 - 5:14pm — knowregretz

I've been reading about Narcissism and alot of debate seems to be given to the fact of whether or not a Narcissist or someone with NPD truly knows what they are doing. I want to say h_ll yes they know! But is this really true?

mel1973's picture

Why can't I get over him?

January 15, 2012 - 11:46pm — mel1973

I haven't talked to him in 4 months but I think about him almost every day? Will I ever feel happy again? This has been going on for 7 years (off and on) but this is the longest I have gone with NC. I feel like I'm an addict and I'm going through withdrawals or something. Is this normal?

Stellarue's picture

He said the new woman is everything he's ever wanted and all he'll ever need.

January 15, 2012 - 8:30pm — Stellarue

One of the things he said that haunts me still to this day is:

"I'll never treat her like I treated you, she's everything I've ever wanted and all I'll ever need.

This still makes me cry, it hurts so bad. I did everything for him, including 3-somes with other women and sex with other couples. I'm ashamed of myself. To hear him make that statement, made me sick to my stomach. Now I'm believe she gets to have the relationship that I wanted with him :(

Snowflake's picture

One to one

January 11, 2012 - 8:36am — Snowflake

I paid a membership that involves a one to one just wondered when we could do this, thanks