Working the Steps?

Hello and welcome to The Path Forward. My name is Goldie and I am the forum's lead moderator. I am available to assist you with the 6 Steps of recovery from a relationship with a Narcissist. This process is often painful and many are left with unanswered questions and a sense of "What just hit me?" "How can I be feeling this badly when I was "so loved" in the beginning?" and "How can I get my life back on track and recover from this confusing, painful ordeal?"

You must remember you have done nothing wrong, but believe in the good nature of another person. Unfortunately, this person has shown their true colors and you are now left with many questions. This section of the forum is devoted to answering your questions because we know you have many.

Here we will talk about what it means to be "Working the Steps" and the different recovery tools we find helpful in healing from a relationship with a Narcissist. Allowing yourself to process and feel your emotions through creative outlets as well as writing your "Goodbye Letter" are important aspects of the 6 Step Recovery process we believe with help you on the path forward. Please post your questions here and I will respond. Many of the questions which you have will also be helpful to other members. We are glad you found our community of support and can assure you that being here is the first step on the Path Forward.

Members, submit your question to Goldie!

Help with obesessing over ow

I have been divorced for a year now and I share a child with my exn so I have to keep in contact with him. I am finding it IMPOSSIBLE to shut off my feelings of wanting him, being jealous of ow and missing our family. I obsess over him and ow constantly. He cheated on me with her so they have been together a year or so now so it appears it is the real deal. I find I can't believe that this realtionship will end at some point. Feel as though she has "everything" he wants and then some and has the laid backness to allow him to just be "him" without questioning.

My narc is like a slot machine.

Being with a narc is like playing a slot machine. I think that if I just play a little longer, my pay off will eventually come! When I think about walking away from the slot machine, I have fears of another stepping up, playing and winning!!! I'm afraid that another woman will benefit from all the time, hard work and sacrifice I've put in. It keeps me paralyzed sometimes...unable to walk away from the slot machine (my narc)...even for a minute...don't wanna lose my spot!! This can't be normal?!!

How can narc ex totally cut our daughters out of his life?

I split with my narc ex 3 yrs ago. Although I left him I struggled to come to terms with my grief. The man I lost did not exist, my pain was all in vain. After being told about narcisstic abuse my healing process started. The part I still struggle with is how he refuses to have any contact with the girls, never acknowledges their birthdays or even stops his car to speak to them. It is beyond my understanding how he can live with himself. To top it all he has a girlfriend with 2 children of her own and they now have a baby together. How can he not love our girls.

Narcs dating other Narcs....

I always wondered if a Narc dates another Narc is a match made in heaven or a match made in ****? I would think dating another narc would seem like a total match and it would work out for awhile but soon they would get sick of each other because they would realize they are basically the same person and they would be over....... I just ask this because I wasn't quite sure where to even post this ........ It is a question that popped into my head earlier tonight

Does being in prison for a long time breed narcs and psychopaths?

I have a separate post about my story but I wanted to know if he could possibly be one of these or is this just the effects of getting out of prison from being in so long (10 years) He went in at 16.

what is the behavior to be expected towards a loved one?

what reasons could have triggered his coldness and detachment towards me over night after an argument?

I'm confused as to if he is mentally disordered or its just the effects of imprisonment.

Strong desire...why????

I have been deeply wounded by Mr. N. I have tried several times to leave. This forum has blessed me beyond words and I have survived NC for 16 days. Lately, I find myself feeling very weak...wanting to text him...wanting to return to him. I keep doing a lot of "self talk" and remind myself that he is NOT the man I thought he was. I also try to tell myself that all I will give him is supply to his ego if I break the NC. I think part of me is feeling rejection because in the past he always hoovered...this time he has not contacted me at all.

is this common?

okay so something i have just only realised is that he takes on different accents depending on where he is living and who he is with at that time. He puts on a posh accent sometimes even when talking to me and i dont understand why or why he doesnt find this strange.. is this common?

Does she has the power

well my question is I was having NC with my N and one day she called and I just wanted to end it I felt the whole thing was getting childish I wanted to voice my feelings so I answered and my voice was very non emotional I learned that thru my emotions she can get her fix so she goes in to the whole I dont want a relationship and I am getting out the lifestyle meaning being gay, and that our relationship didnt mean nothing to her thats why she didnt try, and then in the same breathe she asked for our sex toys for memories what blew me is why the heck would you want the toys if you dont inte