The Path Forward Forum

So yesterday I had to drop off my daughter , and after 2 years out, and previous chaperones, I did it alone and i am happy to say that i felt absolutely nothing. There was not drama on either of our parts and the interaction lasted less than 2 minutes.

Bottom line.... it took me two years and a few months to get to TOTAL INDIFFERENCE.

The only way is to embrace no contact and follow the steps in lisa's book the path forward.

This forum and lisa's book truly changed my life for the better. When i landed here over 2 years ago I was an incoherent rambling mess of a woman.

If you truly work the steps and read the forums and contribute, and don't get offended when someone gives you a reality check. you will recover and triumph. My life is so much better an calmer now.

Good morning and Happy New Year!

hi all...

I have been doing some work processing my past relationships as well as friendships. what stands out to me right now is that there is a group of people who, when I first met them, I found either only moderately attractive or not attractive at all (on a gut feeling level), but who worked their way up to "very attractive" once they started talking deeply and establishing this great "connection". but later - surprise - all of them turned out to be very disordered.

to be clear, I have other "candidates" on my list who started out "very attractive" but then later turned out to be disordered, mainly "commitment phobic" - but those are not my problem at this point because I think I will be able to deal with them in the future.

Ordered my book " The Path Forward" will here in a few days. I am optimistic. I have been just getting my thoughts out on paper and decided to vent.
After eighteen of marriage to a mean, manipulative man I finally worked up the courage to divorce him. I had dreamed of that moment for most of our marriage. I mean literally dream about it and wake up disappointed it wasn’t real. Always in my dreams there was this relief, a weight lifted off my chest and I could finally breathe. I always thought that the reason I didn’t leave was because I was scared of him and he intimidated me. But after 4 years of single life and being treated for depression 3 of those years I realized it was more complicated than just being scared.

I am praying he actually shows up. I am really ready to move on and am looking forward to Goldie's support group for those of you joining on Tuesdays!

I ran into his new girlfriend at the front door of his house today while dropping off my dogs. I have kids and dogs we share so unfortunately no contact is impossible. Looking for ideas on how to handle drop offs. I have tried using friends to open the door, my roommate etc.

Hey everyone. My name is Rose. My story was posted in Share your Story back in 2012. My narc nightmare ended by my choice to walk away in 2011.
I was VERY active on the forum from 2010-2013.

Fast forward to 2013. Narc repeatedly makes attempts to contact me.
I resist and ignore (like she did to me while we were "together").
Finally, in a moment of weakness, I opened one of the emails.
The message was "I am sorry for the hurt and pain I caused you".
I hope we can be friends. I am moving away (cross country) but would like you and your
Dog to come visit me.
Well, being very religious, raised to always forgive, I did just that.
I felt liberated! Suddenly the bitterness and pain I had been carrying around all those years and in my heart
Lifted.

I woke up this morning and I had an ah ha moment. I felt within myself this unbelievable peace, something I am not sure that I have really truly felt. The feeling that all is well with the world.

I am having such a revelation day, I am sure I will have days when I struggle but the more I learn today, the more clearly I see things.

Repeated flags that kept scrolling across my brain for the last few months were:

Why is he never happy with us being happy?
Why does he always cause such chaos?
Why is it then he now works hard to make me happy, really work hard, then POW throw in a blinder to make me cry, then hold me and kiss my tears?

Now it makes sense...

He has no feelings, he is fascinated by feelings, and loves to be the one to make things better - only things he created in the first place, not other stuff that I genuinely would have appreciated his kindness on and comfort/support over.

why today am I down ? Tearful? Upset? Lonely? It has hit me and its unexpected
I miss him / I don't really because as low as I have felt since I removed him from my life I felt lower when he was in my life

I`m still shocked and stunned at how I can feel anything for him though I tell myself even though the man I loved didn't love me I LOVED HIM
with all my heart and soul. I think that's what makes it hard. It wasn't real.

Hi All
its been nearly 12 months since I found this site.
Right beforehand I was driven to despair trying to make sense of why I still felt so rotten.
I had ended relationship with narc months before, but it was near my birthday and I'd been unwell and in a hit of nostalgia I had reached out in a feeble attempt to try and make contact with him.
At that point I saw that he was already engaged to someone else using the same engagement ring he had tried on with me, and a few other women.
Its so boring now I can't even be bothered wasting oxygen or my typing fingers telling the woeful tale.
Coming up to 12 months from when I really started to heal (when I found this site), I thought there might be a few steps backwards, and Ive had a few crazy dreams.