When I joined this forum 3 years ago, I used to look for posts that gave me hope. I wanted to read a post from someone who was recovered and hear how they were living life post Narc. Im hoping to provide some hope for all of you.....there is light at the end of the tunnel.
3 years (almost to the day) I walked out of my home with my 3 young boys....just the clothes on our backs!!! We were homeless for 2 months. It was the worst time of my life.
I've come so far and nothing seems to trigger me anymore. But, out of the blue, an innocuous comment sent me in a spin. I've had some suspicion that his new target is a very nice married lady at work. (We all work together.) I worked through the urge to warn her since I don't know anything as a fact. The last couple of days she's complained about being so tired. Now, that could be anything, but I flashed back on all the work days I spent yawning because I'd gotten so little sleep due to meeting his needs. It just flipped on the anxiety switch and I've been on high alert again.
In the beginning I felt semi-terrible about filing one. Because he was coming back around and being his sweet sweet self after being so incredibly HORRIBLE to me. But I knew it had to be done. I filled my brain with so much information on Narc's that I knew what he was doing, even though he still had a hold on me, I went full NC, except to tell him to leave me alone (was told by the police to do this so the judge could see that I had made an effort in telling him to stop contacting me) and have him go on his roller coaster of "emotions"..
I haven;t seen the movie yet, but I read Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn this weekend, and I've read some critiques about her theory of the Cool Girl.
"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don't mind, I'm the Cool Girl.
I was raised by a narcissist (my dad) and I've recently been involved with a narcissistic boss and a narcissistic friend manipulated me.
It was a blessing in disguise because I was previously in denial to the pain. I was a codependent and eventually it got to the stage where I didn't feel anything anymore. My narcissistic friend broke my ego, you could say and ever since I have been able to feel everything. Happiness and pain.
However, I feel like recently I have nothing left to give.
I want a family eventually, I'm 27 years old. I'm afraid I have no energy though.
I think I may just need a reminder of what I already know. I have posted already about my story - how my NARC dumped me, I went NC and then he hoovered with another number and displayed even more horrible treatment which caused me to tell him to keep his "friendship and I didn't need to know him anymore" and blocked him again. He hasn't hoovered. I hate to admit, I am having a rough day today and yesterday. It is hard for me to accept everything that happened. It has been 5 weeks since the break up and 10 days since the last (not nice) communication. I feel like I am living in a daze.
I have been away from my exn for 21 months. I spent a year and a half in therapy working on myself so that this wouldn't happen to me again. This past June I decided that I was ready to seriously date. I was confident and happy and my life was in a good place. I met several men and found something wrong with all of them. I'm not sure if it was my gut feeling or if I really was scared of having a serious relationship. Regardless, I met a guy in July who seemed nice. He wasn't my type at all which I thought was a good thing. My type hasn't exactly worked out for me.
Hi everyone,
I haven't posted here in several months and wanted to ask for advice on a topic that has been bugging me for awhile. I feel that I have been encountering too many narcs in the dating world and at my new workplace. I am not sure if it is my knowledge on narc behavior that is causing me to "notice" so much, but it is disheartening to me that disordered individuals are paying even the littlest bit of attention to me. For example, at work there are two Ns who have made several sexually inappropriate comments to me about my boss and women in general, along with snide remarks about my appearance. They also did not take "no" for an answer when I informed them that I don't date coworkers. This must have triggered their narcissistic rage because things got ugly really quickly.
I am in a phase now that the hate and shame is passed for great deal.
Sometimes I even think. I can forgive him. Because he is just who he is and he can't help himself. I can also forgive myself. Because it's not my fault that a skilled manipulator lured me into the something.
However I off course will not forgive the things that he has done. And I will not talk to him ever again. But as a person, from this safe distance, I can forgive him. At least the hate in me will go away and that makes me feel better.
However, to be honest, I also find sometimes (when things get tough, and I remember the lies while seeming so nice and sweet) comfort in the notion that he will never be happy. But this emotion is really disappearing.
Love yourself , know your worth, respect yourself and always trust yourself!!!
I am so happy with life , there is no drama , I have learned I don't want or need the shit these asses dish out!
I know the pain , the confusion , the mind f***ing , the pure evil that these people posses , I just want you all to know there is life and light at the end of this nightmare you are digging your way out of! Please please listen to the mods and take in all the advise , don't just hear it but listen and respect it , I still come here and read often but I'm happy to say I'm in a much better place and my prayers are with all of you , stay strong because you are worth it more than they are!!!
What's really amazing I can spot a punk ass narc