All About Him Forum

Has anyone experienced physical problems after the breakup? I was in a 2 year serious, leading to marriage, dating RL with guy I loved deeply. At the end, which I knew was coming, I accidently ran across an article on a website about Ns, read more and thought - that's what I've just been thru. I could never quite put my finger on it until that time. After the breakup, we decided to remain "friends" and I emailed him each morning. He usually responded on his own time, but I was use to that. This was in January 2010 and I developed "stomach issues".

I had found since reading this blog and starting to understand that the man i had been with for 11 yrs and recently married was not who i thought he was, i thought i was starting to get stronger.

He's been spotted tonight with his new GF by my parents, they are distraught at the blatant show of defiance from them both ( we married 3 months ago and she was one of my bffs) They have just strolled through the village we live in holding hands and laughing.......i feel like my heart's been ripped out

I had found since reading this blog and starting to understand that the man i had been with for 11 yrs and recently married was not who i thought he was, i thought i was starting to get stronger.

He's been spotted tonight with his new GF by my parents, they are distraught at the blatant show of defiance from them both ( we married 3 months ago and she was one of my bffs) They have just strolled through the village we live in holding hands and laughing.......i feel like my heart's been ripped out

This is what sticks out in my mind...
Any input would be GREATLY appreciated as I am struggling with it all so much.

(1) He hated kissing, greetings, departing-- anything like such.
**I used to wonder if he had issues from childhood and was never taught how to properly act.

(2) sex was very-- it felt like I was in a porno-- all the time. It was not very touching or loving-- it was hard and strong-- exactly like a porno.
**I actually liked it a lot BUT sometimes a woman needs gentle & loving. He used to tell me I was the best playmate ever because I did things others didn't-- was I wrong to do them? I dunno. I really did kinda like it.

(3) I would always feel inadequite. Like, he always made me feel as though there was somebody better than me for him--

How do you get over them? I have been NC since 2/14-- at my doing.

I feel all sick & twisted because I want him back so bad and yet I know he's all wrong for me.

I have not even seen him in a year-- we just had email contact and I dont know why-- but that contact meant so much to me.

I thought I could make him see.

I feel like a failure. An inadiquite failure.

Does anybody else sometimes think if we become what they want then they will finally want us back? I feel so fat and ugly... and it's strange-- I need/want validation from him-- ONLY HIM!

It's like if he does not give it to me that it's not good enough coming from somebody else. Why is this?

We are on this website for support. Thank heavens for it.
We are here to read of each other's experiences and to commiserate.
We need to know that we are not alone.
We are not bad people or stupid or at fault for having fallen under the spell and in love with a narcissist.
This is what we can do now.....
We must heal our broken hearts.
We have learned from our mistake, haven't we?
We must now focus on regaining our self-respect and our dignity.
We put our hand in the fire and we got burned and it makes no sense to repeat that painful experience.
We must forget the narcissist.
We must cease all communication with them.
We must not think about them or wonder what they are doing or who they are doing it with.

Ok ladies, I need to share this with you because tonight it finally came full circle! Let me start with the fact that I turned 40 this week and I have been celebrating the lucky life I have been handed as well as achieving a lifetime professional goal. My almost ex sister in law (now ex sister in law of my ex narc fiancé who I left 1 1/2 years ago) texts me out of the blue to make plans tonight. We met at a local place and across the bar she spots my ex narc.

I'm new here but not new to narcissists. My mother was one, a very abusive one, and my ex husband is one. My ex is so bad that he makes my mother look like a saint. I've been reading this board for awhile but decided I'd join and post. I'm now divorced from my exN husband and am NC with him. He still to this day smears me and his kids. It's heartbreaking to see my kids go through it. They finally went NC on him as well and you all know the worst thing you can do to a Narc is ignore them. He's livid that my kids ignore him so he trashes them, too.

Somebody please help me.

It's really hard to still accept and believe all of this.
I have been reading so so much online be it all articles for a month. I am too exhausted after my exams, i cant read more. After reading n having friends around, i am empowered, but if i dun read other people's stories and advices I fall back to square one instantly.

this is a follow up to my earlier story...what a joke and it's all on me. After reading for a year and a half and being married for 3 years, so for half of the marriage, I am trying to figure out what in the world has captured me! About 6 months in, I was crying and whining to his sister that I just couldn't understand what was going on and she told me he is a narcissist...what is that you might ask? well, a few months later, the love bug that had bitten me on the booty was getting quite ill and so I looked it up on the computer...WOW WOW WOW