All About Him Forum

Hi all!

Hope you're having a good day! I've been busy interviewing this morning so I apologize for being behind on the board. I want to make you all aware of a change I just made to the site that I think will be beneficial to everyone's recovery.

I know the new book has not been released yet, but it will be in the next week or two. In an effort to start discussing which step we are at in our recovery, I've changed the title of our two forums.

Many of you may not have realized that we have two forums, but we do.

One was titled "Messageboard."
It is now titled "Steps 4-6 Forum" or The Path Forward.

The other forum was titled "Share Your Story."
It is now titled "Steps 1-3 Forum" or All About Him Forum.

I have joined this forum because I feel like I'm losing my mind. I am 50 years old and have been married for 27 years to the same man. I love him and he is fundamentally a good man but he is a total workoholic. He leaves the house at 7am and often isn't home till 10 or 11pm. Maybe once a week, he might get home by 8pm. This has put a strain on our relationship as I feel that spending time with me is at the bottom of his list of priorities.

You know what I miss the most? not the N but the old me that eventually faded away with this stupid relationship. For a little while I was thinking that it would be impossible for me to be there again. Well things are looking different. I realize now that I am a survivor and that worst has already happened and there is no room to go back down. I'm really happy that I found this web site one night lost in thoughts of misery I realized that all my relationships have been with the same kind of N.

Welcome to The Path Foward...

I am on duty tonight looking forward to sharing with you...stop by the "Share your Story" section located beneath the Message Board link and "get it out"
I'm here to answer questions, listen and support you as you try to make sense of what you've just been through.

Looking forward to seeing you there. I will be on duty till about Midnight.

Hugs!

Below is an article which explains the pending changes currently being discussed by the APA for revision to the DSM-IV as it pertains to Narcissism.

What is important to note is that curently, there is criteria for this particular Personality Disorder; however it has been found that there is a lot of co-morbidity (symptoms overlapping with other Personality Disorders) and for that reason, the APA believes that classifying it in a general category with other's may help them to better diagnose.

In the interim, I am not sure where that leaves US the victims, or whether or not how they classify it really matters as ultimately, the bottom line is the same, WE ARE VICTIMS and have been harmed.

This article from Wiki is a primer on what this disorder entails...

If you are unfamiliar with NPD - feel free to review the link below.

It is a general sketch of what this disorder entails, but is not an in depth description.

Generally, one of the first steps in dealing with this crisis is understanding it...along the way you will be led down a path of extensive research in an attempt to decide whether or not your situation fits the description.

This is my first posting so I ask that you bear with me as I try to set the stage and help you along the path of understanding...there is a lot more to be said as well as shared and I presume many many questions.

and I pretty sure thats all he ever did. Envy others.

He pretended to be a Christian
He had me stay with his padres.
He said all the right things.
He was a BB & did steroids.
I didn't know how harmful that was until now...
He was a liar from the start.
He said I was the only one, bought the plane tickets & lavished me with all the "right" things/gifts/words/b.s.

His ex wrote me, she was the crazy one, not him he said, turns out he had been seeing her to have action, yet had me at his parents in his hometown, yet he professed the same love for me as he did for her?

I need help! My husband decided, out of the blue two years ago that our marriage was not working for him. I was so caught off guard and it took me months to recover from that blow. We didn't discuss divorce at the time. About a year ago I found myself enthralled when the narc when he found me on FB. He was an old boyfriend so I thought I knew him! I fell so hard for his loving words. His understanding and words of a perfect future together. He sucked me in, used me, abused me and then dumped me on Valentines day over the phone. I'm now trying to get over the hurt and pain from all of his lies, and mental abuse.

I asked him by e-mail when I could come and collect my belongings and my dog. No answer. Again. No answer. I sent him a non emotional e mail requesting that I not have to involve the police and couldnt we just act like adults and have this matter over with. No. He's a busy man. Doing what? No answer. So, I go about my business and go to groceries.

He texts the gdaughter and asks if I will "talk" to him on the computer. We have nothing to talk about. I just need a time to come pick up my stuff. Can I come now? NO! Ok.

Later he texts grandaughter again. Someone has stolen his m/c helmet. usual scenario -- i get blamed for everything that goes wrong in his life.

Hello There,

I have just joined and would like to express my thanks that such a site exists. I have had incredible support from both my therapist and my friends but, as you all know, it is very difficult to explain having been with a N to anyone who hasn't experienced it first hand.