Let's play another round of "stupid things my Narc said"

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Last post
Aug 10 - 3PM (Reply to #194)
SailorChik
SailorChik's picture

Tell him to join Assholes Anonymous!

I'd almost be worth breaking NC to do that! lol.
Aug 10 - 2AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

If you do not

pick up every last stand of hair in the bathtub, i don't know if you are going to come over to my place anymore...........
Aug 9 - 7PM
dazedandcnonfused
dazedandcnonfused's picture

If you dont come down and

If you dont come down and visit me by Dec 20th I am going to be busy for a year. After that silent treatment for a month. Then if you dont come visit me in feb I am gonna be busy for all of march. I visited in march. Then when I visited in may he said if you you dont come in may I am busy for the rest of the summer. On and on...with his busy schedule. Even though he doesnt work and is at home on the computer all the time.
Aug 9 - 7AM
Lil.Ms.Sunshine
Lil.Ms.Sunshine's picture

"No pun intended..."

My xN used to say "No pun intended BUT..." when he really meant to say "No offense, BUT..." Since he really trying to be insulting, I decided not to say anything and just silently laugh to myself anytime he said that. I'd imagine him walking around saying that, sounding like an idiot all over the place, knowing I helped him stay an idiot. Might as well get some joy out of it while someone's trying to insult you. ;) Wow, some of these stories are so hilarious & crazy! ROTG LMAO!!!
Sep 25 - 5PM (Reply to #190)
Narcphobia
Narcphobia's picture

I almost

Sep 25 - 5PM (Reply to #189)
Narcphobia
Narcphobia's picture

LilMsSunshine

Aug 8 - 7PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

The "I just want you to knows"

. . . wsup with them wanting us to know stuff. Here are a few from my exwn: I just want you to know... He adores me He wamts to make my dreams come true My life is a nightmare with him He said "God wants us to be together" I think I was possessed when I cheated on you I've never been happier since you and I divorced My life is much worse than it ever was before I want to go to counseling with you but don't want to close the door on him I can't move forward with him because I can't close the door on you They are a unique breed, thats for sure! ds
Aug 5 - 7AM
BunnyBlue
BunnyBlue's picture

One time he called me to tell

One time he called me to tell me I didn't exist. "F*ck you J, you don't exist!" I don't even know where to start with that kind of logic.
Aug 5 - 7AM
BunnyBlue
BunnyBlue's picture

Mine called to tell me he was

Mine called to tell me he was ignoring me. He literally said, "I've been ignoring you." I said I hadn't noticed.
Jun 9 - 10PM (Reply to #185)
Heart lost in CO
Heart lost in CO's picture

Classic

Aug 8 - 3PM (Reply to #184)
borderline
borderline's picture

lmao

perfect response
Aug 5 - 7AM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

I don't want you but i don't

I don't want you but i don't want anyone else to have you.
Aug 8 - 5PM (Reply to #182)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Puzzle

so true, just like my narc, acted so jealous and suspicious and yet dumped me and wondered why i met a guy for coffee when we reunited, DUH
Aug 5 - 7AM
Pearl
Pearl's picture

Ex-Hubby Flashback

Ok this one's even better than the other one I posted... "I don't want to see anyone and get counselling because they will only tell me it's all my fault!" His parents heard him say it too. Gold.
Aug 8 - 12PM (Reply to #180)
BAW
BAW's picture

Ha!

Mine said something very similar: "Therapy didn't work - all they did was try to convince me that I had a bad childhood." (he did)
Aug 5 - 7AM
Pearl
Pearl's picture

drug-induced honesty...

"I like you better when you're stoned. You don't talk as much"
Aug 5 - 7AM (Reply to #178)
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

HAHAHA Pearl mine said this

HAHAHA Pearl mine said this to me too. He was a complete pot head.
Aug 5 - 7AM
Puzzle
Puzzle's picture

ooooh I have a few more nutty things to add

Here are a few entertaining things my Narc said that I have remembered recently. We travelled to spain together and I speak a little Spanish. Him "You would have been lost in Spain without me, I navigated our way everywhere." I remember being furious. " I am the one who can speak some of the language, I am the one who asked for directions when no one spoke English....correction you would have been lost without my language skills dickhead." Recently he told a mutual colleague he is "taking care of numero uno." Like he ever took care of me or needed to...and like he never puts himself first...I had to laugh. He begged me back once after I found out a few years prior he had been on internet dating without my knowledge, then said.... "I can't make any promises" when I questioned how serious he was about me. I overheard him bitching about me to his friend saying "I wish she would just get a fucking job already." I had finished my degree 1 month earlier and it was school holidays hence no work. When confronted he said "I never said that you're crazy, you're loosing your mind." He actually made me believe it too.
Aug 5 - 6AM
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Stupid Narc

I have been remembering a lot of different things the Narc said to me since I started therapy. It's almost like I blocked so much out of my head and now it's all coming back but not in a painful way. It's humerous but really embarrassing. Gosh I feel so stupid sometimes that I didn't see that big red sign flashing in front of my face for so long! We were fighting one day (about something stupid I'm sure) and he said, "I made you the woman you are today"!! I didn't think anything about it then but looking back now I'm guessing he thought that was a good thing?? He didn't make me anything but CRAZY! I wish I had said that to him! "Yes Narc you have made me the woman I am today! I complete lunatic who will need years of therapy to recover from your abuse!" What an idiot!
Aug 10 - 5PM (Reply to #175)
pilker
pilker's picture

Their role as The Creator

This reminded me of my ex-N bragging to his friends "I took ten years off that woman." Come to think of it, he kind of did. And I want them back!
Aug 8 - 12PM (Reply to #174)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Sara, this reminded me of

Sara, this reminded me of another (of the many) stupid things xnh said to me. We were fighting, and he shrieked at me, "You're acting like SUCH a typical woman!!" I just looked at him and said, "Duh!!!". What did he think I was supposed to act like? A donkey? I AM a woman. rofl. Xnh is a true misogynistic moron.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Aug 4 - 1PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

"I was born to make love to

"I was born to make love to you" one of the many hooks he got into my skin.
Aug 3 - 8PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

"I will stop you from reading 'War and Peace'"

Ahhh, how Ns/Ps love CONTROL. The ex-Psych prof idolizes "War and Peace." he was AFRAID that I'd get my hands on it, in his words "taint it with my interest." He went so far as to keep my senior class from reading "War and Peace"... so we read "Anna Karenina" instead. The threat he made my freshman year kinda came true my senior year. But I did point out some problems- 1)I could read it in the bookstore 2)I could read it in the library He expected me to be upset&angry that I wasn't assigned "War and Peace." Instead, I told him the battle scenes were BORING. Yeah, he got the reaction he wanted. NOT.
Aug 3 - 11AM
BAW
BAW's picture

My latest favorites

The last couple things he said to me after our final divorce papers were signed: 1. "WHEN I break up with OW can we be friends?" (I told him not to do anything on my account while trying not to laugh) 2. "I wanted to say a bunch of stuff to you about all the years we spent together and everything you've done for me, but i summed it all up. Thank you for holding my glasses for me while I was on stage (singing or acting)." Great - you have thanked me for being a pocket. Yay.
Aug 3 - 11AM (Reply to #168)
Used
Used's picture

HAHA

MYEXNH SAID THANKYOU FOR GIVING ME CONFIDENCE AND THE ABILTY TO BE ALONE.....HE THEN TOOK THIS NEW FOUND CONFIDENCE AND MOVED IN WITH A WOMEN SO AS NOT TO BE ALONE.HE ALWAYS WAS AN IDIOT.LOL
Aug 4 - 2PM (Reply to #169)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

What an idiot! He sounds as

What an idiot! He sounds as pathetic as xnh. Xnh was paranoid about being alone. I'm kind of a loner type person, and I'm quite happy with my own company. He drove me crazy about always "needing" someone around him. Seriously, he got upset because I refused to sit in the bathroom and talk to him when he took a crap. Like I told him, "I refuse to do that. You're on your own. Pooping is a 'solo sport'." Being with xnh while his toxic fumes burned the spackle off the bathroom ceiling was NOT what I'd call "quality time". rofl. Personally, I thought he really needed to practice being alone more often because he couldn't even manage sit on the toilet without company like a toddler. Xnh told me, right after he dumped me, that he really needed some time to be "alone" so that he could run his own life (like I was just SUCH a tyrant to him - lol). The actual truth was that he was cheating, and he couldn't keep his pecker in his pants. Therefore having a wife was a problem when it came to his screwing OW. After xnh moved out, he promptly moved into a house with his two adult daughters, a newborn baby, and a dog (my condolences to the dog). Now, he spends every weekend going out of state to be with his mommy and OW (without taking the two daughters, newborn baby, or the dog). I presume he's doing just like he did with me...running away from his home problems concerning his hideous P daughter, and his self-induced financial woes. Anyway you look at it, xnh is NOT spending time alone. He never has, and he never will. :)

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Sep 29 - 7AM (Reply to #170)
lmustang89
lmustang89's picture

ex n comments

Aug 3 - 6AM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

"I want to be a philosopher when I grow up"

The ex-Psych prof said that at 32. Don't worry, he hasn't accomplished anything significant, in comparison to Colin Firth, who's 3 years his senior (and now an Oscar winner) I'm not counting on the ex-P growing up any time soon. *contemplates sending Tyler Florence organic baby food*
Aug 2 - 7PM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

"Narc says the darnest

"Narc says the darnest things" that was me lol I like the idea of a sequel part 2 lol

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Aug 2 - 4PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

I say

lock them up in an elevator going up and going down and forced to listen to the garbage coming out of their mouths!!