Let's play another round of "stupid things my Narc said"

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Jul 29 - 1PM (Reply to #135)
Reddley's picture

Shittiest Narc ever!

It took me so long to write that out. I was in tears laughing. I was with him when the pharmacist told him to drink water... I told him... the damn label was like a beacon... Just like an N to think he knows it all. Serves him right...
Jul 29 - 12PM
mystwoman's picture

This is a fun game. Xnh said

This is a fun game. Xnh said SO MANY stupid things. I have LOTS of choices. :) I complained about xnh's horrible snoring because he woke me up EVERY night with it. He was AWFUL. My nightly sleep deprivation was taking a toll and aggravating my already severe health problems. I told xnh that I REALLY need to sleep EVERY NIGHT. Xnh told me that he doesn't snore, and that he "just lays awake every night worrying about MY health problems." Oh, how "noble" of him to be so "concerned", and also what a huge pile of bullshit! Xnh was the very same person that was keeping me awake every night with his snoring. He got mad when I asked him, "So how DO you snore and worry about me at the same time?" lol. In addition, once xnh was sound asleep, it was impossible to WAKE him again. Seriously, I poured water onto his face one time I was so desperate, and....nothing. Except for the noise, I should have been able to declare xhh legally dead, and gotten SOME monetary benefit from him. I guess he was just a liability in ALL aspects. Soon after he made this comment, I made xnh go sleep in another bedroom across the house because his snoring was so outrageous. He was so loud that he started waking his two daughters up every night, too, since they were now all on the same end of the house. Everyone in the house had tried to get xnh to wake up when he got this bad, and wanted xnh to go to a sleep center to have it checked out. No way. There was "nothing wrong with him". I finally got a decibel meter from work, recorded his snoring to prove how bad it was, and I measured the decibels. He consistently clocked in at about 80 decibels. That's about the same noise level as city traffic or a vacuum cleaner. Xnh told me that I "faked" the recording, and I was lying about the meter readings just to prove my point. No. None of us really liked the feeling that we were sleeping on a runway at the airport with jet planes constantly coming through. rofl.

God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Sep 29 - 7AM (Reply to #132)
lmustang89's picture


Jul 29 - 11AM
Sunafterrain's picture

Fun thread!

Some of these are just hilarious! common Nspeak out of my Narc: "You're hurting me, please stop hurting me" whenever he was confronted with a lie or having to do work in the relationship "You're going to put me in the hospital again with all the stress you cause me, remember that? I was in pain and you beat the SHIT out of me and I had to go to the hospital!" (he had pancreatitis and was in the hospital for a week, to this day, this is still my fault) LOL "i never said that" "I never did that". "why do you constantly accuse me of lying to you, then you find out it's the truth, I've never lied to you" WTF? "I'm sick and tired of the false accusation, their hurtful" "you set me up!" "....again false accusations, why do you constantly do this?" "if it weren't for your obnoxious behavior, we might actually have a relationship, too bad. What a shame". "i want to be loved, I want to be accepted" WTF? each time he asked me out to dinner to his house or on vacation and I had other responsiblities with my children "Look, it was a bonafide offer, don't ever accuse me of not asking you". BARF!
Jul 29 - 10AM
deecbee's picture

Ressurecting this old gem of

Ressurecting this old gem of a thread. I got a new one to share: "She spent Father's Day with her dad instead of with me, her new boyfriend, on my birthday! Who does that??!!" Mind you, she had just taken his ass out for dinner the evening before, but he was livid that she went to go see her dad on Father's Day instead of fawning all over him for another day for his birthday.
Jul 30 - 12AM (Reply to #129)
Arwen's picture

Deecbee what?????????????

Deecbee what????????????? incredible
Jun 2 - 1PM
passionatebutterfly's picture

This is great! S said so

This is great! S said so many ridiculous things to me that I blew off at the time. One in particular that stands out is, "J, when you said you were going to go see a therapist I thought it was to help you stay with me"........WTF???? Seriously? A therapist is really going to tell a married woman with a loving husband to stay in an extramarital affair with a married narcissist? OMG. He really does live in his own little narc world........LMAO. Too funny. xoxo
Jun 2 - 9AM
deecbee's picture

Haha, I have a good one. He

Haha, I have a good one. He was complaining about some guy that his OW was flirting with on Facebook. He kept going on and on about how this guy was ugly and had "embarrassing style" (to be honest, he was a lot better-looking than the narc!). This is what he said: "FYI I just changed my profile pic to make him feel insecure. That ought to show him." He was dead serious! I could not help but roll my eyes. The picture was incredibly cheesy. He was in a plaid blazer with sunglasses, staring up at the sun with this ridiculous expression on his face.
Jun 2 - 9AM (Reply to #126)
sara-smile's picture


Gag! They are the most arrogant idiots on the planet! LOL!! Stories like these remind me of how arrogant my Narc was and how embarrassing it was for me sometimes. You should commment on his profile pic "you look like a confused nerdy professor" or just post "what the hell"! I love to injure Narcs now. I've never been mean or spiteful but now anytime I can get a jab in I take it.
Jun 2 - 9AM (Reply to #124)
Used's picture


narc was a scruff, but said to me, I scrub up well so I said ,when you going to do it then?...when he found out I had a another male friend besides him...he said I am going to look for the 2 of you and I will wear my blazer...I said its not a blazer it is just a jacket, he said no it is not its got shiney buttons... oh dear ya have to laugh or you will cry.lol and he always wore black shades even in winter, i think he thought he looked like a gangster..he looked like a muppet.
Jun 2 - 9AM (Reply to #125)
deecbee's picture


My N stayed wearing those shades. Like you said, he thought they made him look like some kind of dangerous mafioso. Dude... nobody is intimidated by your little ass. He always wanted me to take pics of him posing in all kinds of silly ways and then he'd run to put them on FB. I was so embarrassed for him.
May 31 - 11AM
terri's picture

just recently after I stupidly broke NC

"You are the love of my life" then... "I think its time for both of us to move on." uh..OK.

Believe in yourself!

Jul 30 - 12AM (Reply to #122)
Arwen's picture

Terri how are you? I haven't

Terri how are you? I haven't seen you on here in awhile. I had a name change.
Jul 29 - 5PM (Reply to #121)
strongblackcoffee's picture


Yours and mine spoke the same language. Peace Coffee
May 31 - 8AM
wacaet's picture

I just figured out another

I just figured out another one. The first time I met up with him, we were talking in his car and he got a text, which I saw, it was from Kim and it said "I passed my test" He said Kim was his guy friend who'd just gotten his blackbelt. Said it immediately, no hesitation. Of course, Kim is actually the OW I found out about who is in college, working on phd. He lied without giving it a second thought and I never even realized it was a lie until the other day. They are soooooooooooo good at lying!!
Jul 30 - 12AM (Reply to #119)
Arwen's picture

Wacaet they are SO FU--ING

Wacaet they are SO FU--ING GOOD at lying OH MAN!!! Boy did you hit the nail on the head...my ex N would not miss a beat before telling the most BS lie you could ever hear. Can you imagine how great these people would be if they were not PD's? They would rule the world with all the intelligence they normally use towards lies. And fast lies!! Loved your post.
May 30 - 8PM
whoknew's picture

the past

mine always said...its in the past, quit bringing up the past. the past btw could be something that occurred 10 minutes ago, a few days ago, or several months ago. basically any problem that i had with him or any lie that i caught him in, etc. i was expected to put in "the past" and get over it. another favorite of his....why cant i just listen to him?!?! wth? what an ass!!!!!!
Jun 2 - 2PM (Reply to #117)
passionatebutterfly's picture

The Past

This reminds me of my narc as well, except HE would constantly bring up our past from 20 years ago, and how we ended up ending our relationship due to college and distance. He brought it up all the time and then would say I shouldn't dwell on it. But I never brought it up....he did. HE was dwelling on it and I think he wanted me to dwell too. Craziness.....
May 31 - 1AM (Reply to #115)
Journey's picture

Mine said the exact same

Mine said the exact same things about living in the past and I was often accused of 'holding onto the past' if I didn't bounce back quickly from emotional abuse he dished out. He would act as if it never even happened afterwards and if I wanted to talk about it or was still upset, well, then he'd be sure to point out that I should learn how to be happy and live in the present. Sometimes if I brought up an incident from a previous time (yesterday, an hour or even just minutes before) he would say "are you still thinking about that? I forgot it even happened" as if I was worried over nothing, diminishing my concerns and diverting away from any resolve to them. Oh, and after the breakup D&D when we were still supposed to be friends and he was telling me he still loved and cared for me, he told me one day (after securing his new supply which he lied about having), that it was hard for him to continue communicating with me (excuse for him to stop calling me) because I was always so 'negative'. This, after the way I had tried all throughout our relationship and during the break up to be as understanding, forgiving, loving and cooperative as possible - for HIM. What an ass indeed!!

Journey on...

Jul 31 - 5AM (Reply to #116)
agnesmurphy17's picture


Mine too forget his past transgressions against me immediately. If I was hurt . . . I was accused of "rankling"--"persistent resentment, festering sore." Needless to say, my N always said that he disliked people who rankle. Well, I bet he did because there were probably several women who resented the way he treated them. Which dovetails into another of my N's favorite sayings: "Things said in anger don't count." How convenient for him. Of course, I was held to the highest punctilo of honor at all times. And if I pissed him off for some minor transgression, he could rage for days. The silent treatment and/or temper tantrums for days. But that was not rankling on his part. No. He was DEVASTATED, SLAIN, SUFFERING because I hurt him. About forgetting what one does wrong in the past. This is quite common to criminals & psychopaths. They have a very difficult time dealing with the fact that sentencing is influenced by how many convictions & the length of sentences they have in the past. They seem to think that they shoudl receive the same small sentence which they received for the first breaking & entry as the 23rd some 15 years after the first time they were sent to prison. "That's in the past" is the mantra. Essentially, these Ns want zero accountability.
May 30 - 8PM
Goldie's picture

So many

I never told anyone this before: He loved to use that line like it was some big deal to me that I was the only one to hear his sick shit, anyway, he says that and then says: "Whenever I'm about to win a race, I purposely lose, I make myself lose the race (what race was he ever in?). I cannot stand having attention on myself (since when?). I always make sure that I screw things up so I never wind up on top. Do you know what I mean?" And this is a big secret? I said: Are you talking about self sabatage? You mean like how you have been screwing up this realtionship since day one? "I'm losing weight so I can look good for you or someone else." What's that? Backup plan weight loss? Must be why he is doing so much coke. The lose weight quick plan. "I meant it at the time." On I promise you if we have sex I will marry you. God bless, Goldie
May 31 - 2AM (Reply to #113)
Journey's picture

"I meant it at the time."

They all say that I'm sure! What a great excuse for not taking responsibility or being held accountable for their ever changing minds and broken promises! Arrgh!

Journey on...

May 30 - 12AM
empath's picture

inappropriate and weird

When the tsunami hit Japan back in March, the N. and I were in a very brief "working things out" phase, which of course didn't work and only lasted a few weeks. I am grateful I did not meet with him to speak in person. This gem was exchanged. It has bothered me ever since, that he could say such an odd thing. How did I overlook red flags like these??? ******* Me: Oh the images coming out of Japan...so tragic and sad! Him: I would hate to be a flood insurance company in Japan right now. ******* I did not make this up. He really said this. This was before I learned about NPD, and the N's complete lack of empathy. This one sentence from him...I found it so revealing and so disturbing.
May 30 - 2AM (Reply to #110)
Journey's picture

Wow Empath, pretty

Wow Empath, pretty enlightening isn't it? Not the first thought most people would have about such a tragedy. Glad you found this forum :)

Journey on...

May 30 - 11AM (Reply to #111)
empath's picture

So enlightening, it's frightening

Thank you Journey. I am glad I found this forum too. This forum is such a blessing. This topic really got me thinking about how many odd and inappropriate things like that the N said over the years, that just made me shake my head and shrug it off.
May 29 - 10PM
hopeful43's picture

Compared to a stripper

Me: You called me baby and that i was the one you were attracted to and that i turn you on so much! Him: So what does that mean? I said that to a stripper that i didn't even know. That cut me to the core. He was basically saying he would say that to anyone that he could care less about.
May 28 - 6PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

ExNW, I'm real manic and I am

ExNW, I'm real manic and I am afraid I will drink(she quit 14 years ago) Me, Maybe you should go talk to your psychologist ExNW, It's not that bad
May 26 - 2PM
dudette's picture

scary stuff that came back to me today

me dumping his arse for being silent for four days ( and now being hoovered by emails etc...): me -I feel that I have to let you go because this is really what you want and you are too scared to tell me the truth. him - you are too strong for me me - I may be stroing but I do not have the nerves of steel needed for this relationship to continue. and in the end I feel that you might kill me him - I agree with everything you say. I had buried that one for 6 months!
May 28 - 2PM (Reply to #105)
Goldie's picture

I'm sorry

This one is just too f ing funny. He doesn't say: oh no honey I don't want to kill you, he just says: I agree. God bless, Goldie
May 31 - 1AM (Reply to #106)
dudette's picture


ah yes bless him, he'll go to hell.....