Valentines Day and How Do You All Feel?

I was still with my N. I had purchased his Valentine's Day gift in late December in the post-Christmas sales & had it all wrapped up in the closet for weeks. About two weeks before Valentine's Day he comes running in: "Is this another thing I am expected to get a present for?" Me: "No. You are not expected to do anything." On Valentine's Day I gave him the gift. He says: "YOU said we weren't doing anything." I said, "No. How could I say that? I already had YOUR gift wrapped in the closet when you asked if YOU were expected to get anything for me?" So he went out later in the day & got flowers because he loved me. I asked the woman who replaced me what she got for Valentine's Day when she contaced me. She said flowers & they went to dinner. Shortly thereafter she left him & took out a Restraining Order. Today he is with her replacement. I wondered what he did for this New Woman? I wonder if I will ever get off this treadmill? Because I know he never even thinks of me. Our marriage, the whole 3 years is deleted from his mind. Extract & discard! NEXT!

I laugh my head off at the toilet seat, I once heard from his 3rd wife that when he would give you some candy from a jar or box, he would count out what was left to make sure you did not take too much, UNREAL...............

Oh, I love that you woke up to a card and chocolates from your son. I love this too: "Today I will be open and appreciative to allowing life's flow of love and energy to come my way by those who are capable of love. I will not shut out the loving friends and family who are making an effort to show their love to me." So true! Thanks, as always, for your wisdom!

Your post made me smile. I love it. Have a wonderful day with your two favorite men. Goldie

You go girl! A date! You are going into with a great attitude too! I'm so proud of you! WOO HOOO!!! Love you!!! Sara

Yep!! I've been playing that one too!!! Playedwithfire

Wow, interesting stuff. History fascinates me. The Origins of Valentine's Day http://www.npr.org/2011/02/13/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day

Oh, Venus. I'm so sorry about Scout. I'm so very sorry. I experienced a similar situation with my cat two years ago. She seemed to be coughing hairballs really bad and then it turned into her gasping for air. I ran over to her as she took her last breath and fell limp. I'll never forget the sound either. I'm so sorry for your loss. The good thing is that you were with him when he passed. You gave him a good life and his soul is with you always. The soul/spirit never dies. Please, please, please do NOT beat yourself us for this! Like Ally said: "Please do not take on the guilt for this. As connected as we can be with our animals, I do not think we have the power to bring about their ill health. Your energy did not do this to her any more than your love could save her." She's absolutely right. Your energy did absolutely nothing to cause this. That is not possible! No way, no how, ok? Please know this. You must know this so you can properly grieve. We are often afraid to allow ourselves to feel what we feel. Instead of allowing ourselves to mourn, cry and be sad, we find other things to distract us from having to feel. If I may venture to speculate, I think you may be obsessing over whether you caused this because that way instead of having to feel sad, you are swimming in guilt and analyzing the situation in your head. You know deep down that you don't have the power to control God's plan. It was Scout's time to join God in Heaven and there's nothing you could have done to change that. What you can do now is control how you respond to what happened. Guilt keeps you stuck! It is very important we understand that certain feelings keep us stuck and unable to feel. They are: Anger Fear and Guilt We will talk about this more in the new book, but the important thing to remember right now is this: As humans, we absolutely must process our feelings before we can recover or heal from any painful experience. Until we do this, we remain stuck. This is not only important for our emotional health, but our physical health as well. In my opinion, the only true path to enlightenment is to drop all inner resistance and be honest with ourselves. We must allow ourselves to feel our feelings and not be ashamed. When you give a feeling full expression, it diminishes its power and brings about a transformation. Once you acknowledge and express the feeling, it causes the feeling to subside, as it can’t go on forever. We must not be afraid to cry. It’s an emotional release, which is good for us. Poets have known this for years: “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” ~ Charles Dickens “Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it." ~Albert Smith “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” ~William Shakespeare Fortunately, science is now confirming such statements. Recent research confirms that crying is good for us because it cleanses our system of toxins and waste, reduces tension and increases our body’s ability to heal itself. Alan Wolfelt Ph.D., a professor at the University of Colorado Medical School, has measured the chemical benefits of crying and states: “In my clinical experience with thousands of mourners, I have observed changes in physical (appearance) following the expression of tears…Not only do people feel better after crying ; they also look better.” The kind of tears our eyes produce for moisture to remove dust or sand and the kind that we produce by crying are chemically different. Crying tears are made-up of manganese. In fact, crying tears are thirty times richer in manganese than blood is, for example. According to biochemists, manganese is only one of three chemicals that are stored up by stress and flushed out by a good cry. In the school of nursing at Marquette University, nurses are asked not to immediately provide tranquilizers to weeping patients. Instead, they are encouraged to allow the tears to do their own therapeutic work. Dr. Margaret Crepeau, professor of nursing at Marquette states: “Laughter and tears are two inherent natural medicines whereby we can reduce duress, let out negative feelings and recharge. They truly are the body’s own best resources.” Studies find that men die sooner than women after any major stressful or traumatic experience. A man’s refusal to feel his feelings and his determination to repress emotions is thought to contribute to this statistic, which lends further support to my belief that we Gotta Get it Out in order to heal. The point to my long post is to ensure that you do NOT feel guilty in any way, shape or form. There is absolutely nothing you could have done differently to change Scout's destiny, ok? Instead of feeling guilty, please FEEL your FEELINGS and mourn Scout. Allow yourself to grieve and honor your little guy. xoxo

So sorry to hear about your dog, they are so pure of heart. She is resting in peace, I;m sure your heart is broken, so take it easy be kind to yourself. Hugsx

Hang in there,i am so sorry to hear about your dog and cairn terriers are one of my favorite dogs, I am thinking of you..When my EXn dog died in his lap it was the only time I heard him cry.DO NOT blame yourself, you do not know what happen to Scout.

I am so, so sorry to hear about Scout. Animals become such a part of us, as much family as any human could ever be. Please do not take on the guilt for this. As connected as we can be with our animals, I do not think we have the power to bring about their ill health. Your energy did not do this to her any more than your love could save her. I'm just so sorry that this has happened. I've been through this and know how hard it is. Please try to get some rest and take care of yourself. Hugs (big ones), Ally

Oh gosh Im so sorry. I lost my dog the same day the Narc came back into my life. THE SAME DAY! This is the last thing you needed. Please try to take care of yourself.