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Still think it's because I was twenty pounds overweight

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Apr 1 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

I have lost sixty pounds, am

I have lost sixty pounds, am very focused on it and lose more every day so that is not the issue here but thanks. I have taken antidepressants for many months since suffering from Postpartum anxiety and depression which has resolved. Still not the issue! But thanks for getting back to me.
Apr 1 - 8PM (Reply to #9)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Ok then the issue is you

Ok then the issue is you think he dumped you because you were fat? He's a disordered individual, I know this takes time, You somehow need to refocus. This guy is a head case. It has nothing to do with you. And losing 60 LBS that's awesome. Idealk
Apr 1 - 8PM (Reply to #10)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

trying

Trying so hard to refocus. It's all this regret, the thoughts in my head are, "oh if only he could see me now looking so much better, thinner bleached teeth, hair longer,all the things that I was not taking care of at all during the pp depression. So I think he thought these things about me but didn't want to say anything lest he hurt my feelings. But these were things I told him in advance I wanted to change before I met up with him but he kept saying he didn't care. IDK. When I saw him he thought I was so attractive he immediately dragged me to his local bar to show me off. Maybe he started to see things he didn't like or looked for them over the month we saw each other and decided I had to go. But I also found out he was an indicted criminal. Maybe that's what he couldn't handle. How can I be TALKING about this man??????
Apr 1 - 8PM (Reply to #11)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

PP Depression, He found his

PP Depression, He found his prey, What a son of a Bitch! Honestly, you are Hott stuff and he doesn't deserve one ounce of who you are. Just give yourself more time and distance. keep moving forward. Longterm he's not for you. He filled a void at the time you needed it. :( Idealk
Apr 1 - 7PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

thanks

I'm in therapy twice a week...have been in therapy most of my adult life. Still feel like shit today and blaming myself. But I am taking in the comments that you made that no matter what I looked like he would have discarded me. Is that really true? That's what I thought most of my life but today I guess I am totally uphill.
Apr 2 - 3AM (Reply to #4)
dudette
dudette's picture

Patience

you are better than him, out of his league. He could never have kept a woman like you because you are too good for him....on all levels...he knew that.... Ultimately, he will have to settle for some inferior woman who is unlikely to be leaving him one day soon. You would have called his shit eventually because YOU are strong and YOU will not be a doormat.... YOU are a beautiful and strong woman who kissed a pretend prince and found a toad.... Leave the toads to be with other toads.... Look at the real princess you are and work at how to find real princes.... Love D
Apr 1 - 7PM
ABC0311
ABC0311's picture

I don't think it is because of your weight

Please make sure that you are in therapy while going through all of this! It really helps especially if you are feeling especially depressed. Things will get better, focus on yourself and where you are going!!
Apr 1 - 6PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

here is my take

and sorry if it is blunt but sometimes hard love is needed, there are probably self esteem issues you need to examine, maybe from childhood,screw the narc, it is not about him, it doesn't matter if you are a beauty queen or Miss America, sooner or later you will be discarded and devalued, doesn't matter if you are tall/short/.skinny/fat/blonde/brunette, whatever, if need be, get yourself some good therapy, it is your life and not his anymore, they do a number on anyone who crosses their path, good luck.