Second guessing

I'm about a week into NC. This is the, I don' know, umpteenth time that I've gone NC, and at this point the doubt always kicks in with full force.

This is when I start to feel like it was all my fault, and I'm the evil one. I'm the one who wouldn't leave my husband fast enough. My fault. I can't seem to convince myself that he wouldn't be a different person if I had done what I was "supposed"
to do. So I start to feel badly about myself, and positively about him.

I'm still here, I still won't contact him- I just hate feeling like this!

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