Scared

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#1 Oct 15 - 5PM
Walkingonsunshine
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Scared

Today I feel scared and I don't know why. Something in the weather or something is reminding me of last year at this time when the abuse was so severe. I burst out crying today a few times and I don't know why. I can actually feel it now, how I felt when he was torchuring me and I was begging for him to let me go and he kept dragging me back and I cried in ways I never experienced. Half screaming for help and crying in terror. Anyway for whatever reason, it's all up in my face today and im horrified by the sadistic things he did to me. I hate that I know what abuse is, I never wanted to know such a thing. how do I soothe myself through this fear. He was really crazy and today I felt scared that maybe he will come back and kill me or rape me. I used to find black gloves all over his place. Now that I am remembering more and more, I'm getting scared. It's been almost a year, just enough time for his last victim to be goin down the path to hell. It scares me that he may Hoover one day. I'm scared of him lately, I don't know why. I'm not scared I'd fall for a Hoover, I'm just scared of him, increasingly and I don't get why it's worsening. how do I rid this terror associated with my thoughts. I've never known that kind of torchure, fear or sadism. My father was an n but he wasn't sadistic. My x is a psychopath. I wish he would die so that he would be off this earth. I feel uneasy. I'm not the biggest believer in premonitions but I feel disturbed inside, like something is up. I wish I had a big dog with big teeth.

Oct 17 - 7AM
neverlookback
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the only

Oct 17 - 3PM (Reply to #17)
Walkingonsunshine
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No worries I would NEVER go

Oct 17 - 6AM
Done sourcing
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Taking a mental trip into the

Oct 17 - 3PM (Reply to #15)
Walkingonsunshine
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Ds, I like the hell analogy.

Oct 17 - 6AM (Reply to #14)
IncognitoBurrito
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Gems

Oct 15 - 9PM
shock and awe.some
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Hey walking

Oct 16 - 5PM (Reply to #12)
Walkingonsunshine
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Hi awesome, nothing has

Oct 15 - 8PM
Luv2bme
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Scared...,

Oct 15 - 5PM
TruthbeginsToday
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It sounds like PTSD

Oct 16 - 2AM (Reply to #9)
kollontai77
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I agree

Oct 15 - 5PM
round3
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Walking....

Oct 15 - 6PM (Reply to #2)
TruthbeginsToday
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Good thinking , Round 3

Oct 15 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
round3
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paranoia and fear

Oct 17 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
Walkingonsunshine
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Thanks everyone, I had a

Oct 17 - 5PM (Reply to #7)
Luv2bme
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Disrespectful..

Oct 17 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
Luv2bme
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Disrespectful..

Oct 18 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
Walkingonsunshine
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Luv, I have to believe time