I'm owning the shame of my weakness. I took his call... No excuses. How much verbal assault will I tolerate? I had been so strong, feeling such power with NC = FUCK YOU!
WHY CAN'T I ADMIT HE WILL NEVER CHANGE? Why do I keep going back for more? Why can't I truly believe this will never change? I'm back to square one.
I feel like an absolute IDIOT. The NARC invited me to spend his 50th birthday weekend with him. I didn't accept the invitation immediately. In actuality, it seemed so ODD that he would invite me. As our conversation wound down, he asked what I was doing that night. "Carving pumpkins with my boys", When I asked what he was doing, he responded, "Going on a date". WTF? He just invited me for his birthday two weeks from that day. Un-fucking real. I was so taken back that I said, " Good bye" and hung up the phone.
The next morning I received an email saying all he wanted was peace. He knows his disclosure about his 'dinner date' wasn't well recieved. He went on to say he should have listened to my plea for NC. Blah, blah, blah.
The last sentence said "Let's not get together for my birthday.Let's let time pass..."
I did not respond...
Then, the hideous phone call telling me I'm acting 16 years old hanging up saying "Good bye". Told me I was selfish and did not accept him for who he is.
This was the kicker....
Claimed HE is the only person who loves me so much and respects me so mch and is honest with me. Said he wasn't being mean spirited, but nobody tells me the truth because I scare the shit out of people because I am strong willed and bossy. Said, "oh ya, you do so much for others, but it's definitely 'you' focused." (For the record, I am not the person he detailed above.)
It went on and on... I was silent. Acutually in shock... He has said some very hurtful things over time, but this was brutal.
It's odd how their verbal assaults begin to have little to no impact. He is correct, I do not accept him for who he is.....
Rinse... Repeat... Ugh!