Tagging on to this...I wanted to add something that I didn't so much as ignore, as much as I just didn't let it keep me from dating him. Probably more accurate statement.
It bugged me to the core from day 1, actually.
He would tell me that shortly after he divorced, he would pimp out his daughter at the mall...sort of test what would happen...as women found her very adorable. So the daughter would 'bait' women, in essence...isn't this gross??? He also told me...wait til you meet her, you will never leave me then. UGH! WHY DID I NOT RUN AS FAST AND HARD AS I COULD BACK THEN???!!!
I always thought this was sick. It went beyond narcissism in my eyes.
The texting! I forgot! First thing when he woke up in the morning and last thing when he went to bed. And all day too. I thought it was because of our secret relationship and that was his only way to talk to me but I'm gathering a lot of you had that. I was enchanted by his devoted attention but I see it for what it really is now, HIS need for constant attention.
I started to feel like his mother in the end. Constantly "pickIng up" after him, one disaster happening to him after another. I'm sure his high drama life is from his constant string of lies.
So bad with money. Enough said.
The predatory stare.
Cruel streak & heartless but explained that "work is work, I'm not like that at home."
I'm sure I'll think of more as days pass. Some spell he had on me! But that sex thing... when it traps you and it's good, it messes you up and the reasoning just goes out the window. That was my biggest blind spot.
And the only person I knew who had a dorm room to himself. He had a rommate the semester before but got his own place because he said he just "couldn't live with other people."
Germphobic- would kiss me but not touch food I ate or prepared.
When he first walked up to me and asked me to dance he seemed to
pop out of nowhere! Poof! I was in the middle of telling a story to a friend and
thought he wasn't a hood judge of body language. I told him no, thanks but I don't want to dance. My friend said, "that is so mean! Go dance with him!"
I was so embarrassed, I felt like I had to.
He felt like every accident was something someone had done to him on purpose and he had to get revenge (road rage!)
He seemed way too close to his mom- he told about when he made out with a girl, heavy petting, etc. Gross.
Told me he had an uncle who was a convicted pedo. I now know narcissm runs in families and that nearly %100 of pedophiles are narcs.
Homophobe- I mentioned a gay second cousin and he immediately sat down and started charting a genetic map. He wanted all the info from me: who's side, names, numbers, etc. in order to determine if my kids would "catch it."
Closeted racist: I knew some lyrics to a few rap songs and he became all suspicious that I had banged a lot of black guys in high school. How else does a white chick learn rap?
45 minutes late for our first date (please don't flog me for still going out with him) And every date thereafter. not sure what I was thinking.
Seemed to have me under a microscope: constantly scrutinizing my every move z I now think he was looking for stuff to mirror.
I carried the burden for every conversation: he was a completely empty shell who only spoke up to criticize or make a demand. No thoughts or opinions of his own. Every joke was someone else's.
I found myself embarrasssed to bring him around my friends. I was hiding him because I knew he would be awkward and weird.
Snob- held every job in contempt except his own. Laughed at people's grammar errors. Refused to wear non-name brand clothing, even if he liked it. Drove a flashy sports car (that was a piece of junk and broke down all the time.)!
Took sides with a campus killer. Said stress could make you do a lot of things.
I want to marry you I want to have children with you. Move in with me. Even if we don't have kids we can raise yours and they'll have grandchildren for me to love. Awww how sweet, right? This is a couple months after we started being intimate.
I planned on taking my tax return to help pay for your kids summer camps. Uhhhh what? This is a right after we started seeing each other and I was still married!
When I went to his place the first time he had a book that was staged for me to see about a subject that was about my ethnic background, like he was all into my heritage all on his own and he always wanted to go visit there. Way too overstated!
Crying, bucket loads of crying! Saying he's never done this with anyone else because that's just how strongly he felt about me and he couldn't help it. How does someone do that?!!!
When caught in a lie would continue to deny it over and over until hit in the face with undeniable proof.
Seemed to have trouble with txting back sometimes then make up half assed excuses why.
Amazing how many there are when we think of them!
Called his adorable 3 year old niece "art wank"
Called his sister "King's Road scum" (neither to their faces, but to me in private)
Favourite movie was Manhunter, about a serial killer - the prequel to Silence of the Lambs
Announced within seconds of meeting me that he had been to a particular public school (one of the poshest schools in England)
Sense of humour weirdly absent from the initial fun, flirty texts we were having
The first time I tried to kiss him on the mouth he sort of froze and had to be talked into it - WTF?
A bubbling cauldron of suppressed road rage, and rage in general
Tagging on to this...I
Some more!
He was college aged
How could I forget these
Called his adorable 3 year