Please help, spiralling (was I abusive?)

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Sep 6 - 4PM (Reply to #9)
spinning
spinning's picture

Great job, Mega!

AWESOME!!! You are on the Path Forward! This is what it's all about. YOU ROCK!!! Love, (determined to stay stopped from) spinning. I'M ON THE PATH FORWARD AND LOVING IT!

spinning

Sep 7 - 3AM (Reply to #10)
megamillion
megamillion's picture

*THUMBS UP and FIST PUMPS IN

*THUMBS UP and FIST PUMPS IN THE AIR* YEAH! xxx Mega
Sep 6 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
Unfreakinreal
Unfreakinreal's picture

We all know what they are Mega

Unfortunately it's not always so easy to keep at the forefront of your mind when it is in constant turmoil... Personally, I try to remember all that I put up with before I got to the point of questioning whether or not it might be me that is causing the problem. And I know it's not me. And it's not you either. Questioning is inevitable because we have the ability to think about how our actions affect others. They don't. Rock on. Xoxo
Sep 7 - 3AM (Reply to #8)
megamillion
megamillion's picture

Again, so right - and a

Again, so right - and a really good point for reflection: "Personally, I try to remember all that I put up with before I got to the point of questioning whether or not it might be me that is causing the problem." Wow, so true - these whackos seriously cannot begin to comprehend the extent of consequences/effects of their actions... nor do they care. It's sad, self-focused existence. xxx Mega
Sep 6 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
grace67
grace67's picture

Hooooollllyyyy Cow...

I swear, from the point of your original post where you said : "BUT I did this from a combination of insecurity and uncertainty because..." My jaw literally dropped! You could Not have described my own personal story any better if you'd been sitting there watching it all play out! Substitute your "her" for my "him"... In Freaking Credible! And I've asked myself the same question that you did. I think this should just prove, even further, that it wasn't US that were abusive. We were just responding to what they were projecting. You are a loving, giving person that thought you were in a relationship with a real person! {{{Hugs}}} and thanks for starting this thread. It takes courage to ask the hard questions about Ourselves.
Sep 7 - 3AM (Reply to #7)
megamillion
megamillion's picture

Thanks so much for sharing,

Thanks so much for sharing, Grace, and as always, I'm so sorry we all have to deal with the SAME THING from these "people." I agree that when we can ask hard(er) questions and work through them we can come out stronger on the other side - I'm gonna keep fighting! xxx Mega
Sep 6 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
Caligirl
Caligirl's picture

Same exact experiences with my N as well,

Except for open flirting. He even didn't look at women, but mine would brag about his body, about how in his tight jeans (painted on sometimes) you can see how big he is and women look at his crotch, past sex stuff, etc. Gee, makes a gf feel real secure! NOT!
Sep 7 - 3AM (Reply to #6)
megamillion
megamillion's picture

It makes a GF feel like sh*t

It makes a GF feel like sh*t that's for sure - but it's also so sad, isn't it, if you can manage to step back from it for even a few moments, you can see just how sad and insecure they are... Imagine wandering around thinking everyone was checking out your junk all day, strutting like an idiot, Saturday Night Fever style... idiots. xxx Mega
Sep 7 - 2AM (Reply to #5)
rosedewittbukater
rosedewittbukater's picture

None of them know how

to treat women. Even the women narcs don't know how to treat other women! It reminds me of that line in "An Officer and a Gentleman" when Debra Winger tells Zack "you treat women like whores!" MF-ers