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Long Distance Relatinships

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#1 Apr 7 - 2PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Long Distance Relatinships

I am noticing a lot of us are involved in “long distance relationships” with people that are met online through a dating site, or via friends of friends…whatever.

I am not writing this to judge, but I feel it’s important that we re-evaluate our decisions concerning such relationships.

While it is hard to find someone, I don’t think these “long distance” relationships are healthy because the mere foundation of such a relationship leaves us ripe to “illusion”

So you spend umpteen hours on the phone, over the web whatever…how exactly does one bond?

You get to fantasize about all their grooviness, they whisper sweet nothings over the phone, send love notes via email…might even have a 15 year old pic posted and you are in love with some prince who in real life looks like he’s been laying in the sun everyday for the past 12 years!

I just don’t understand how you can believe that a bond, or love or whatever exists under such circumstances.

It is fantasy, it is illusion.

The real deal – BEFORE you meet if you do…you have this whole fantasy wrapped up in your head…you don’t know:

1. If this guy thinks it’s cool to pick his nose in a restaurant

2. If he thinks bathing on a daily basis is something you should do in order to smell better

3. You can’t read his body language when he says things…

4. Oh wait, you’ll probably tell me you have Skype and cameras…okay so sex is performed how?...NEVERMIND…okay fine…

It just seems like a lot of emptiness and delusion to me and you build yourself up and have all these dreamy dreams and then the guy comes or you go visit and are D&D’d and wonder why.

I think in most cases, guys do what they do online for the thrill and they know there are a lot of lonely women who are really trying to find someone and they take advantage of that.

If you really want a relationship, why not go the traditional route and actually try to obtain something TANGIBLE and within a reasonable distance? I mean in some cases…cross continent? How does that work? You make plans with a virtual stranger and get tied up in knots when they decide they’re not ready to leave, not their city, not their state but their COUNTRY?...no ladies, I think some of us have it wrong.

I’m not judging your decisions, just stating what the norm is for the kinds of setups you’ve gotten yourselves into. The statistics speak for themselves more or less…every story I’ve read it’s kinda the same thing in that boat too.

I just think someone you can interact with on a regular basis, get to know them in person, scope them out have the advantage of looking into their eyes…I mean, okay the NARCS did a great job of screwing us over and that doesn’t mean looking into someone’s eyes is always an indicator, but how do you fall madly and deeply in love with someone hundreds if not thousands of miles away you’ve met a few times?

Can someone explain this phenomenon to me?

PS - Im not talking about such a relationship where a bond and foundation has been established and then for whatever reason one has to relocate for a time, for say work or military...I'm talking about initiating something whose foundation is essentially styrofoam and wondering why the house is caving in.

Apr 8 - 2PM
shortway2
shortway2's picture

Michele isn"t going anywhere

Michele isn"t going anywhere because she knows my arse will come get her..lol..If I have to send her a DUSTPAN in the mail I will..hahah xoxoxo
Apr 8 - 2PM
kizzy72
kizzy72's picture

i see what your saying

i guess for me, I hardly get out because im sick all the time and I'm left with nothing but being online, so its easy for someone to suck me in. But I can say I am very happy I never met up with this person and they he was "vexed" about meeting up with me (as he put it). *** rolling eyes *** I dodged a hollow point bullet. It grazed me just a bit, but it cold have hit a vital organ This man for all I know could have been sizing me up, figuring "hmmm she just lost her father, I'm broke, so she may have had money left over to her and she has her own place". Even though I can stand here and say that would have never happened because I didn't have feelings for him, but had I not been smart and asked him about himself, that could have happened down the line. So technically I'm glad I "fished for a story", cause I found out the truth. These online relationships, which are not all bad, but you never know who or what you are meeting up with and it can be dangerous.
Apr 8 - 2PM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

All the best to you michelle

All the best to you michelle it is unfourtunate that after a dispute of any kind..you have to leave..all the best to you!

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 8 - 2PM (Reply to #82)
terri
terri's picture

Michelle

Being a moderator here is a lot to take on and what I read of your postings, I think you always had a very kind and fair perspective. As someone else stated, I think we are all here for one purpose and that is to bring our own stories to the group for the benefit of all. And I personally believe that even though we may not agree with everyone's perspective - it's still wise to listen and try to understand. We've all really been through mind-bending agony with these narcs. Thanks for your support to everyone here and don't be a stranger!!

Believe in yourself!
Terri

Apr 8 - 1PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

The good news about being in

The good news about being in a LDR??? The narc can't come knocking on my door tonight! :P Have to look at the positives, michelle. hahaha Not sure why this thread went sideways like this...I can understand some being offended...but, just because someone would never venture into a LDR and asks why someone else would...I wouldn't get offended. Don't take things too personally, ladies...we are all here to support each other. This NC stuff is hard...let's remember we're here to get each other through. :=)
Apr 8 - 1PM
shortway2
shortway2's picture

Michele, I don't want to hash

Michele, I don't want to hash it anymore because you know I luv you and we totally connect and are from the same path..So I was just a little thrown off..But that doesn't mean I think you aren't doing a good job as a moderator..I don't agree with anyone thinking that.. I don't know what else is going on here but maybe me just telling you something sister to sister triggered something else or something else was going on here before I re-signed on.. We are all having a rough time and I think we should ALL be careful how we talk to one another.If I speak for us,I can say we don't need to go head to head with each other... I honestly think a debate on here isnt good for any of us..We all have strong opinions and are trying to keep our strength together to fight other things..not each other.. you know I luv you and appreciate you and I am sorry i brought it up..i didnt think it would spiral out of control like this.. Today i'm just trying to get my strength..i showered,ate,just trying to not get triggered anymore with my thoughts.. let's all forget this happened and realize we are each other's strength..since we can't lash out on the N's I feel sometimes we lash out on each other just like family does.. I forgive you and I am sure you forgive me..Let's reach higher and let this go..xoxox
Apr 8 - 1PM (Reply to #79)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Again, I'm coming in late

Ugh, I'm so sorry I didn't see this earlier. I let off some steam last night as I wait to hear if I got this frickin' job or not so I'm hung over and getting a late start today. Bullies do not win here. They will never win as far as I'm concerned. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened. I appreciate the latest comments made by Spinning and Deidre and Shortway in support of Michele. I have reached out to Michele and she wants to take a break from this right now and does not want to discuss with me until later in the weekend. I respect her wishes. I have not asked her to step down, nor do I want her to do so. I am getting so many mixed messages from people that I don't know what to think. This much I know, Michele's intentions are good and she goes out of her way to help people. I will not tolerate bullying of any kind and I ask everyone to step away from this discussion for now and move on. We are not always going to agree on things. Just like we couldn't agree on Codependency, we are not all going to have the same opinion on LDRs. Please don't attack people for their opinions. If people have feedback, please message me privately. In the meantime, let's respect Michele's wishes to take a much-needed break this weekend. Love to all, Lisa
Apr 8 - 12PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

To Whomever it May Concern

Vain Encounters is not the only forum that deals with victims of Narcissistic Abuse...I am sure we all know that. In order to try to assist, I try to read up as much as I can. We all have different experiences, so in order for me to understand some of the dynamics, it is important to me that I become as informed as I can so that I can relate. Early on, and throughout there has been commentary or better yet, ADVICE not to use dating sites because of the high incidence of pathologicals trolling the sites. It has also been advised that we not try to date too soon. In fact, I remember very clearly it being stated it takes 18 months to get over this "trauma" on other sites I have also seen themes of long distance relationships and many also advise against that. I do note the thousands of sites that offer advice on how to make long distance relationships work. This leads me to conclude that there must be many who have problems in that area simply by following the simple principals of the Law of Supply and Demand. Despite that, I witness people mentioning they're on dating sites, and doing all kinds of things well before the 18 month suggestion. In this case, suggestion is not a subtle command as we really can't control what anyone does, we can only try to help. That being said - as someone who no longer feels under the same duress I felt when I first landed here, when I read things I read them objectively. When someone is engaged in an activity that does not seem healthy for them - I think it is the right thing to do to try to open up a discussion with the hope that others as well can chime in and provide insight and/or commentary. I read my post, and yes, it was a combination of some of the things I've witnessed - BUT it did not single anyone out. It was a general discussion. While I understand there are triggers sometimes, it seems that for some reason, when I post something, it becomes a major offense to some. AND to be blunt, I cannot figure out how the hell to revise this statement so any one particular individual doesn't feel this is directed towards them, but I will say this IS NOT FOR SHORTWAY...and can't find all the other threads instructing excactly how I should formulate my words so as not to "trigger" anyone...but of course, I'm not human I can take abuse...right?...NO think again...when one points fingers, there are three pointing right back at you...consider that a parting gift from me, to whomever it applies. On the other hand, I received a number of private messages, and in a number of those private messages, members have expressed their support for what I do, the topics I raise and they say they are hesitant to post on the forum but would prefer to communicate with me in private because they don't want to get caught up with some of the "tension" that is on the board. That concerns me. While flattering to the "ego" I want the board to be in the forefront - and if any elect to comment please include the many times when I encouraged you to "GO BACK TO THE BOARD" rather than deal with me one on one. WHY? Because I have a thing against "guru's" and I don't want to be one. I want to help, but I want each of you to have as much insight and as much input from others so that YOU can make a decision that works for YOU. That is what a facilitator does. AND do not be alarmed if you find yourself wondering...is she talking about ME??? Let me say this...there is one of me and many of YOU I have interacted with...it is a general statement. I raised a concern about the climate on the board myself a few nights back - I don't think anyone responded - but to date, the "tension" continues. In fact, someone even messaged me "joking" are they still picking on you?...it is evident that things are not healthy here. AND it is my hope that that individual will refrain from identifying themselves the same way I have maintained confdentiality for every person I've discussed things with in private. BTW - I take confidentiality VERY SERIOUSLY and was rather peeved that my character by a third party decided to distort the facts not being privy to the whole story - yet somehow...I suppose I should have kept quiet, as I presume moderators just have to take crap...and I love how many times individuals have felt the need to tell me what my job is as moderator and the indirect comment about me being napoleon just takes the cake...although at this point since I'm no longer mincing my words I'd have to say it was the most classic case of projection I've ever experienced. There have been a number of times that I thought about leaving, but I chose to stay simply because I felt that there were others that would benefit from my help. The truth is, I feel more protective of the newcomers simply because they come here shell shocked having NO idea just what the heck hit them. I have made this clear to Lisa that is where my concern lies, and it is my hope that if anything has come from all of this drama...that the newcomers will be treated with a little more understanding, compassion and tenderness by some who at times showed a lot of "forgetfulness" of that stage. This to me is not a popularity contest, or a social scene. I take my recovery seriously, and am doing my best to do what needs to be done to heal. Equally, if I sense that someone is running in front of the bus, I try to get them out of the way. They have the choice of insisting to get hit, or coming to the side and arguing with me. AND I have had a number of arguments here too but you know what -I don't have an issue with an argument as long as it is respectful and we are not slinging mud. I am sickened to witness...yes, literally sickend to see some that feel a little better get off on insulting and degrading others all in an effort to feel better about themselves...and again, I'm not mincing my words here because to me, this is GOODBYE and this is only for those who have engaged in those behaviours and yes, I can risk being outspoken because this isn't my site. The worse that could happen is Lisa says: Michele you are BANNED! AND that is okay, because I have a right to defend myself and let people know I don't deserve this treatment. Equally, when I have screwed up, I have apologized. IN fact, I've written private notes to some that "claim" being offended, and they did not respond but continue to stir the pot of SHIT. That to me, is bullshit. Say what you mean and mean what you say or shut up and no one can say I never apologized or reached out when someone has said: Michele, you stepped on my toes!...I embrace being human and yea, I'm gonna screw up...A LOT! and that is perfectly okay with me. I understand that this whole situaiton causes each of us to lash out in different ways. Equally however, I have also believed it is a team effort to recover and while the question has been raised "who is the common denominator" in all of this, and the implied statements of "patterns" by others let's just say I would have respected you more had you stepped up to the plate directly and addressed the thread I created a few nights back and were woman enough to confront some of the challenges instead of keeping the bullshit going which now I will say publicly seems to be the pattern. That being the case, whether I am right, whether I am wrong, I know I've done my best to be of service to this forum to the best of my human ability. Equally, when I have seen that there were "personality" conflicts, I have made it my business to stay away and not "inflame" an already obvious sitation. I cannot say for certain that respect has been reciprocated and I do feel I have been the target of a number of snide remarks. Except when I've seen what appears to be abusive, intimidating, bullying behavior...GASP! OH MY!! HEAVENS!!! SHE WENT THERE!!! Yes I did. I won't tolerate it. I was a victim of abuse and while we all suffer trauma and act out our crap...if someone pulls your coat and says take it easy...then take it easy or detach. Do not keep it going. My behavior last night was a disgrace...to continue to go toe to toe on BULLSHIT! Yes I will openly admit that - but I have had enough! AND the only way sometimes to get people to cut their crap is to confront. AND that is what I did. AS PART OF MY RECOVERY FROM MY TRAUMA. AND lets not candy coat this and call it a trigger, no it wasn't a trigger, it was outright disrespect and someone instigating SHIT let's call a spade a spade once and for all! This is not a paid position, I am not customer service. I do my best to represent the leadership team, but when the pain outweighs the pleasure, it's time to move on. I have bitten my tongue a number of times for the morale of the board, and I find I can't do that anymore. I too am a victim of abuse, I too have the same ability to "act out my shit" but I do my best to refrain. The number of people that have thanked me, contacted me in private, and have on threads, indicated they feel they were helped, is validation for me enough that I have done a good job - but at this juncture, it seems my tenure here must come to pass. Lisa, I thank you very much for the opportunity, but more than that I thank you for my healing as well as everyone else on this board, including those who have "triggered me" WHY? Because I am finally aware, that I can speak up and defend myself and not take shit from anyone that isn't mine to own. I wish all of you the best in your journey.
Apr 8 - 2PM (Reply to #76)
momoya
momoya's picture

Thanks for everything!

Thanks, it is unfortunate that a discussion that creates dialogue/comments turned into something personal and was misunderstood to this degree. I wantto note that I read many of your attempts to not only apologize for any offense but to make clear that this was not meant as a slight/insult/judgement to anyone in particular. All this led to was more back and forth and you trying to make it clear again, which I dont think was heard or considered. We all get alot from each others' perspective and I have appreciated the honest and thoughtful feed back from other women on this site when I was going through a very difficult and confusing time. I also understand that there is no need for it to be this difficult to communicate and clear up misunderstadings - this place is a safe sanctuary and we put some heavy things out there to bounce off others for better perspective. You will be missed, and I appreciate the caring and support you have provided to many people. all the best to you!

momoya

Apr 8 - 2PM (Reply to #77)
shortway2
shortway2's picture

There has obviously been

There has obviously been stuff going on here before michele and I discussed our situation..I think michele and I know our boundaries with each other and other people on here didn't.We were having a conversation and maybe we should have had it on our private terms..I guess other people had the need to really lash out..When michele knows very well from the place I'm coming from due to the fact we have a friendship off this site.. So I think this stirred up alot of what is going on here on this board in terms of people lashing out FOR REAL..We were just having a discussion about our boundaries and there was definetly some misunderstandings.. Her and I have spoke..I think this is the most misinterpreted thread ever..
Apr 8 - 1PM (Reply to #75)
spinning
spinning's picture

What a sad, sad shame

for our community. Bullies always win... ...that really should stop; but alas, some thrive on it. People who read here can SEE what's going on when it's going on. Lucky for me, I'm not a mod so I can choose to ignore, not engage and not respond. Unfortunately for Michele, she could not. We need help to heal, not confrontation. And when Michele gave all the chance to pinpoint whatever problem they were having with her, no one stepped up...I suppose it's more fun to shoot low blows and do clandestine sabotage. This is by far the 'meanest' post I have ever made and I wish I didn't have to make it. But I, too, can't just shut up when something really wrong is going on. And if it costs me leaving, too, so be it. I refuse any system that rewards bad behavior. Had enough of that with the N. Michele, I am so sorry that you feel you must go, but I totally understand. Please know your hard work, insight and willingness to share has been most appreciated by me. most sincerely (slowing down again from) spinning

spinning

Apr 8 - 10AM
shortway2
shortway2's picture

Initially I jumped at

Initially I jumped at Shortway because essentially in her "emotional state" she did not remember exactly what we discussed; however, I have that posting and it did not even mention her long distance relationship. I will not divulge what it was about but I do have the thread just as she does and can check. let's clear this up..In my thread 24 hours prior..I discussed with you and other my LONG DISTANCE situation..You even stated that you thought he might want a green card..My emotional state had nothing to do with that..My words are being jumbled..I said in my emotional state I didn't know your situation had to do with a man who was with someone.. Had you said"Can someone tell me how long distance relationships work,etc..isn't there an open window for narc behavior etc..Ok..then I would tell you of my 10 years experience of it.. Just the fact I posted a thread pertaining to my Long distance sitaution and how I was suffered saying 20hrs before this post.i found it ironice..ANd that is fine..But I felt you went to town... Calling then illusions.etc-Stating "If you really want a relationship, why not go the traditional route and actually try to obtain something TANGIBLE and within a reasonable distance? I mean in some cases…cross continent? How does that work? You make plans with a virtual stranger and get tied up in knots when they decide they’re not ready to leave, not their city, not their state but their COUNTRY?...no ladies, I think some of us have it wrong." When I had just stated that he was to be coming here this month from another continent and now he isn't...It was kind of harsh..and too ironic for it to be about something else. So thats that..I forgive Michele..and her and I have a good bond on and off this board which is probably why I was thrown off.I don't know anyone else's situation with her.. I have been suffering severe anxiety attacks where my mother had to come over and help me not stop breathing...I am in no shape to hear any of these words on here..I am trying to fall into a deep depression about what has happened to me in the past 6 mths.. So let's just all get along..lol
Apr 8 - 5AM
passionatebutterfly
passionatebutterfly's picture

Seriously ladies......can you

Seriously ladies......can you fight somewhere else?
Apr 7 - 11PM
Steph
Steph's picture

Michele115

I totally agree. Unless a foundation has already been laid prior to the relationship becoming long distance......the chances of the relationship having any real validity, is next to nil. I think it is a very rare circumstance where these types of relationships actually work out.
Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #68)
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

Stay strong according to

Stay strong according to michelle this is a private conversation between shortway and michelle.. Members are not allowed to speak on this matter is what im understanding..so I wouldbe very carefull..because michelles reputation is on the line if anyone do comment...she may request for a apology

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #69)
Steph
Steph's picture

ImStrong

Sorry, from what Michele wrote, I didn't get the vibe that it was a private converstaion. I took it as her making a post and finding herself in a position of having to defend herself. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I guess I don't feel the need to be "careful". have a great night:)
Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #70)
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

You too and congrats on your

You too and congrats on your new position of moderator..

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #71)
Steph
Steph's picture

ah, Thanks!

ah, Thanks!
Apr 7 - 10PM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

So you agree Tlsm and

So you agree Tlsm and onlychild and others is not apart of this either? You have found a misunderstanding ..your right you can fix that..but I have not..its pretty clear to me... Tip 2: Discussions who have means of being private..should be so privatly..through private messeging.it is a very easy and efficient tool to use in these cases Now because you did not label this thread " only for shortway" This thread.is still open to me.. Again nothing was resolved on here..having proof is childish..if you have proof of something let it be a serious matter..but a discussion is unnecessary to anounce you have proof.. Fb has no connection to me... You open a thread stating long distance relationships ..allegidly speaking to all of us..thats what you received a response from all of us.. Now because you and shortway got into a conflict on the way..doesnt mean its private or a private discussion..this type of thing happens all the time on the boards..its not private.. Private is for private messeging...not public boards for all members..thats discriminating..

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #63)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

imstrong

What was "implied" by you was that I betrayed a trust. Proof is necessary when one is being attacked. Proof is necessary to clarify. Proof is necessary when one is: Slandered or when one's character is defamed. Shortway made an error. We resolved that error. A third party THATS YOU then decided to add commentary. That could potentially have a domino effect on my reputation as we cannot assume that everyone would read the entire thread to see where YOU WERE MISTAKEN. Slander and Defamation of Character fall under false light laws which state: If a publication of information is false, then a tort of defamation might have occurred. If that communication is not technically false but is still misleading, then a tort of false light might have occurred.[5] So for me, proof is necessary, as I don't take to being slandered in a public forum too lightly, especially by someone who does not know the facts but wishes instead to engage in a pissing contest. NOW please note, I don't think that this warrants legal action, I'm just asking you kindly to refrain...you have touched a nerve with a few, this is public information evident by certain posts and members who have asked you to refrain...and now I am asking you once again, to leave this particular topic alone. I will say however, in terms of moderating, we are asked to set the tone. AND if someone engages in behavior that is geared towards inciting conflict rather than discussion...I think that does fall under my purvue. Moreover, when the activity is not conducive to discussion but instead serves to antagonize and imply actions of someone based on what at this moment is technically what they refer to in legal terms...heresay - I rest my case and have decided it is best to cease this discussion, you may have the last "stream"
Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #64)
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

Michelle I am over this

Michelle I am over this conversation..you lost me at when you disrespectfully told me im "sprouting off" of the mouth.. Low blows for a person who is supose to be a help to the board and others Tip 3: Next time use private messeging...

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #65)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Imstrong

I am human enough that when I offend someone I can apologize so I will openly admit for all to see that yes, you are right, "spouting off at the mouth" was harsh. BUT I will be very honest here also. I have witnessed your responses to some of the members and it is very difficult to witness. Yes, very often your points are valid and true and I belive come from the right place but the delivery...triggers not only some but also me. So just having come out of a tense situation, and then have a third party chime in evidently NOT KNOWING the facts...it came across as antagonizing. I suspect you will now twist this as being my "issue" and yea, I'll own that too. What I do know is that coming out of a narcissistic abuse relationship, I try to help and not harm. Sometimes I miss the mark - but when that does happen and when it is apparant that my style does not necessarily suit someone's taste, I do my best to RESPECT THEIR BOUNDARIES. I will respect yours, I am demanding you respect mine.
Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #66)
Steph
Steph's picture

Michele

I think it is always obvious here that you try to "help, not harm". You don't need to apologize and you don't need to defend yourself....to ANYONE. Even as a moderator. You are a good person with honest intentions. Enough said. I luvs ya!
Apr 7 - 10PM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

"Sorry..I feel I have shared

"Sorry..I feel I have shared my story with you personally offline and online and you just bashed it without even telling me by putting a post on how long distance relationships are this and that.." The above statement by shortway seems to sum it up..it seems like I didnt miss anything at all and it definintly is the case

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 10PM (Reply to #55)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Imstrong

First, you are spouting off at the mouth not knowing what you speak. Initially I jumped at Shortway because essentially in her "emotional state" she did not remember exactly what we discussed; however, I have that posting and it did not even mention her long distance relationship. I will not divulge what it was about but I do have the thread just as she does and can check. Now, to the best of my information and belief, this was an error on Shortway's part; however, your activity on this discussion after the fact is now serving to inflame a situation that has already been settled. Shortway if you disagree, go back to the thread we talked about on FB and please show me where we discussed your long distance relationship. As per you and I Shortway, I believe we have resolved this. I will say at this point Imstrong...I will assume you won't challenge this as like I said, I have the facts, I believe Shortway will concur, I believe she and I have resolved it and now you are just fanning flames. Kindly refrain. Thank you.
Apr 7 - 10PM (Reply to #56)
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

You have not made a

You have not made a point...in response to me spouting off..your post above resembles that rather than I... Michelle need I remind you this is not your board or website.. This thread is open to the public... Through all hours of the day and night..resolving anything on fb has zero to do with me... I am discussing the unresolved topic on here.. I still currently beleive there isnt a mistake on shortway side due to her quote above..everything else you discussed was again behind the sceens... Tip: maybe discussing behind the sceens is not for you..due to the misunderstanding today... Now knowing this thread is open to us members to post any time of the day..to say I inflicted anything is repeatively wrong... If,you have discussed it on fb..good for you..if I discuss it on here its because I can..we all can freely at any time we choose

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 10PM (Reply to #61)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Imstrong

YOU SAID: "I am discussing the unresolved topic on here.. I still currently beleive there isnt a mistake on shortway side due to her quote above..everything else you discussed was again behind the sceens... Tip: maybe discussing behind the sceens is not for you..due to the misunderstanding today..." AND I WILL TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER SINCE THERE STILL SEEMS TO BE SOME 'CONFUSION' ON YOUR PART. THE TOPIC IS NOT UNRESOLVED...IT IS RESOLVED YOU CAN BELIEVE THERE ISN'T A MISTAKE; HOWEVER, I HAVE THE PROOF WHICH IS WHY IT IS RESOLVED...AS DOES SHORTWAY... AS PER TIPS: IF I NEEDED THEM, I DON'T THINK I'D SOLICIT THEM FROM YOU AS OUR STYLES DON'T QUITE MESH. SO WHILE IT IS NOT MY BOARD, I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO CLARIFY MISREPRESENTATIONS, ESPECIALLY INDIRECT STATEMENTS ABOUT MY CHARACTER AND MOST IMPORTANTLY WHEN THEY IMPLY DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY THAT I HAVE BETRAYED A TRUST...EVEN MORE SO BY A THIRD PARTY THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SITUATION. LIKE YOU SAY, MY FB DISCUSSIONS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU...SO I TRUST YOU WILL RESPECT THIS IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN SHORTWAY AND I AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT?
Apr 7 - 10PM (Reply to #57)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Imstrong

"Shortway.. I understand your concern..if I was privatley discussing something private and all of a sudden its on the boards..i would be alarm also..i definintly see your concern" And so your contribution to the above referenced is meant to imply? Again, you assumed and it's not always the wise thing to do.
Apr 7 - 10PM (Reply to #58)
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

You must be feeling under the

You must be feeling under the wheather today..your a bit off.. Of couse I was responding to when shortway said this "Sorry..I feel I have shared my story with you personally offline and online and you just bashed it without even telling me by putting a post on how long distance relationships are this and that.." did you miss that? I think its best for you to leave this resolved discussion alone as you said..because it may not go in your favor if continued by me...

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 11PM (Reply to #59)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Imstrong

As far as being a bit off I believe I am right on point. Again, I will anticipate a formal apology as at this juncture, I feel this is a case for defamation of character. I will ask you again nicely to please drop this. This is detrimental to the morale of the board and equally defaming of my reputation.