Ive been on this site for a year

it took me 3 years but then i have no real support system and he occupied a huge part of my life and I still face a huge void all this time out, have met no man to start a new friendship with. I would try therapy if i were you and go weekly like Sparrow said, you need outside help to move on, I did and it helped me tremendously..I am now no contact for good.....

Hey Hon, Listen, I understand that it's tough to resist the hoovering ( I haven't been hoovered, and so I can't speak for the people who have as i have no idea. But I can only imagine how hard it is. BUT if you've been on this site for as long as you said you have been, and you've been reading regularly, it makes no sense to me why you haven't worked on you?? If you know you're dealing with a narc, if you're reading up, if you're comparing your stories with stories of others on this site, then you no there is no other way for success unless you go NC. Are you addicted to feeling bad? For hurting? Are you scared of feeling liberated and painless? I ask, cuz when I was feelign better it scared me...cuz I've been so used to feeling pain. If you're serious about taking care of you, YOU will do the work and go NC. People that have been here from a year ago may have left, they may trickle back, and yes they may fall off the wagon. BUT the difference is, that they are recognizing a problem in their life and trying to change it. Your post spoke to me cuz I'm shocked you've only lasted 1 week of nc in an ENTIRE year. LOOK, I get it's tough. I get the pain, I'm not at all close to graduating yet. BUT seriously...are you kidding me? Start respecting yourself and take care of you! Go NC.

You will never come close to healing with continued breaking of NC. The cardinal rule, is in place for a reason. It is very important to maintain it. You must find the strength. It takes some people years to heal, you being one of them.....why not start all over from the very beginning, since NC has not been established. Clean slate, start NC and maintain it this time. Read, like it's the first time, start with a new plan, new rules. Set goals for yourself, differently than before. In other words, change everything up, and most importantly, seriously, start NC. Without establishing NC, you will never get out of the gate. It's like never changing the oil in your car and scratching your head, wondering why the engine seized. You must maintain your car, and you must maintain NC. Find a good therapist and go weekly also! Stay strong, don't give up, you can do it, it's just taking you longer. :)

I've also been on here for about year but I tend to visit less these days. I've largely maintained NC but there's still a nagging issue. There is a social website both me and the Ice Queen use, and the site is not very good for blocking. There are little ways he can get through and irritate me, and he keeps doing so. He just won't stop and ignoring him hasn't got rid of him. He's persistent and pushy and believes in bulldozering his way to anything he wants - but of course it's me who is "stubborn"... If I leave, I lose the site, all the people I know on it, all the real-world social stuff that goes on, all the fun. It's an awfully large price to pay to cut him out of my life completely and I'm not willing to do it. On the other hand if I stay I have to put up with this. I'm tempted over and over to unblock him because the fact that he can get through the block becomes an issue all of its own. It becomes an irritation that drags my attention back to him despite the fact that it should do the opposite. If I unblock him, it solves that problem, and I can probably continue ignoring him...but it makes it a lot harder. If I can see his nasty controlling little opinion being posted all over the place it's very tempting to publicly humiliate him or try to make people aware of what he's REALLY like. So I'm stuck in limbo land, coming to terms with the fact that I can't get rid of him without throwing the baby out with the bath water. I wish this issue would go away but I keep trying to find the right balance and all the time it revolves around him - the person I want OUT of my life FOREVER.

YOU ARE STILL AT ROCK BOTTOM B/C YOU KEEP GOING BACK....EXN STILL TRIES TO GET ME BACK ,THIS IS AFTER 2 YEARS....I COMPLETELY IGNORE HIM EVERYTIME... THATS WHY I AM OUT OF IT...