It is amazing

Wow thisisnotfun, we sound like we were the same guy. I did stop trying to please him early on because of a previous relationship with another N. I did everything under the sun to make that relationship work and stayed too many years wasting my life away. I vowed to not do that again when a relationship stopped working. Stupidly I took this one back believing all his lies and I didn't know about Ns. I didn't even know the first relationship was with an N. They both seemed different but in comparing the two relationships the patterns are the same just on different levels. Both controlling, arrogant, insecure monsters. I no longer miss mine, still run into him but he is a stranger to me. The person that stands before me all smiles and sweet is an apparition that in a puff of smoke will disappear. The first year with mine was a bit of a rollercoaster so I broke it off. When he came back it seemed different, we became close or so I thought. Then the red flags began cropping up again and I began mentioning things to him. That's when he dumped me this time for good. He led me to believe we were in a close relationship but in looking back it's clear we never were. I was never any closer to him than the first day I met him. Sure he gave me glimpses inside his world but it was just so he could get what he wanted. I'm so totally disgusted by my ex now but I think more disgusted with myself that I associated with him and loved him. I can't find one good quality to point out in him.

I wonder the same thing. What exactly is it that I miss about this guy? He was a miserable person to be around, never wanted to do anything fun and if we did, he always managed to ruin it one way or another. Either by someone on the road pissing him off or something else, anything would set him off. When we were invited to do something, he was either too tired, no money, nothing to wear, didn't like crowds. Omg! What a miserable person!

I felt the same way, finally realizing YOU COULD NOT POSSIBLY LOVE THIS GUY CYNTHIA, look at what he is and what he does, his character, he is a bad bad bad man so I told myself you better rethink what love is, because how he treated you is nothing close to love, it was nothing but sick. Interesting too you mention the x wife knowing he was a Narcissist, wonder why I thought their wives and GF dont know, that they can fool only them but not the ones on the side? ha ha I guess it boils down to how many of them are strong enough to leave a long relationship they had with them, and of course the ones they just throw away after many years and think nothing of it. Take your average Narcissist who either is married or has a GF, (they all say that) how many of these partnerships do they go thru, the pretend ones that live with them? Guess they always have to have someone sleeping with them if not for sex just someone with them because they cant stand being alone. I bet you any amount of money that a few have left my x freak because of his deformity so telling him he is a psychopath will be nothing new to his ears, he will probably say, thats what my last woman said. I am just curious how long was his x wife with him?

Sounds like you're doing all you can and asking a few good questions. ~Free to Be~

but as is he took everything and has labelled me a pyscho You keep bringing this up, as if the opinion of a pathologically disordered narcissist who projects all the time makes ANY real difference. Who CARES what he thinks of you? http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/10/am-i-who-he-says-i-am All of us on this site are psychos in the eye of our exes too. Look at the great company you're in! And stop dwelling on what he said. He lied to you so many times don't you think calling YOU a psycho is JUST ANOTHER LIE? ~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLICK HERE: Articles & information for Narc Victims - Updated Daily "As soon as you feel that crazy sense of walking on eggshells, fending off N-rage, stop. Walk away." - Dr. M. Beck

This site is amazing and I wouldn't be in the good place I am at (today - tomorrow could change!!) if it wasn't for all of you sharing stories. I know this is said alot, but I am so amazed how the same they all are. All of them. I feel like the top post I could have written - it so relates to me and is everything I am feeling. I am starting to really regret how I handled everything. I wish I had found this site when I was still with him, I might have my dignity but as is he took everything and has labelled me a pyscho. All I had to do was...nothing! I had to educate myself on narcissism and read your stories here. But with him all I had to do was not care and leave him which I couldn't do. There is nothing more in the world I want then my dignity back with him. To have closure, the last word. To reject him and to tell him off for all the awful things he did. Sleazy messages telling me to suck him, constant D&D's after I would make him dinner, give him my wine, give him my bed, my heart he would disappear. I wish I could have slapped him for that and told him his behavior is not ok. I wish for my dignity back but I guess the only closure with a N is closure with yourself. I want him to come back so I can say goodbye. Pangs of yearning still come and go and I am afraid I am going to be one of those delusional people that will never be able to let it go. But I believe in faith and karma and I have to believe it will come back to him. He cheated on his girlfriend with me and I probably wasn't the only one. He led a double life, fooled us both. Led me on for over a year and made me think there was a chance for us. I held on and stayed in only to be thrown away like a piece of worthless rubbish. But you know what? He is the worthless one. He can't love, he is empty, if he takes pleasure in hurting people than that is his curse forever. He is 33, I am hoping he will marry her and hit midlife crisis then she will know I am NOT a pyscho and I wasn't lying when I tried to tell her. I want her to find out and I hope she does. For any of us feeling worthless and down - don't. Why should we feel we are not good enough for these worthless men? Worthless men that use women for sex. Worthless men that tell you how much they love you then disappear for 2 weeks. Worthless men that lead you on and make you believe you are special where the whole time they are using your heart and soul as entertainment. He will get his I have to beleive that.