I'M BEING BOLD HERE - WHO IS READY FOR A 360 TURNAROUND?

I am very excited too!!! I shall sleep on a name for the group tonight in bed.... that will save me from thinking about.... that cute new guy who I have been thinking about... Clue1 - not the N Clue 2 - I am SOOOOO not doing anything about it but my "magical thinking" is redirected to a much better place LOL ;-) Lots of love and happy N free Sunday x x x x x

I am ready! Perfect timing. I went downtown yesterday morning to meet with a business attorney and left totally humiliated by the state of my affairs. I have totally neglected my amazing business, my writing career and my spiritual and physical health. My finances, my heart, my home. My lovely home has crap everywhere, I'm dressing to hide bulges I never had, I haven't worked on a book in more than a year, I fell away from my exercise routine, my awesome karaoke parties, my gardening, everything. Yes, I've had enough. I'm not going to be the woman he tried to make me. You're right. He tried to take everything away from me because he is a jealous, empty loser. This week, I'm going to go through my home and throw out everything that is making it a mess, get rid of half of my clothes and shoes that I bought out of depression, open up new bank accounts, separate from my business partner, including one just for my daughters. I"m going to keep up my exercise, even just a bit, every day. I"m going to put on beautiful music and buy flowers. That's what I do, for crying out loud! I am KNOWN for spreading beauty everywhere I freaking go! I am KNOWN for it! In the beginning, I planted his whole garden, redid his front lawn, cooked him gourmet meals and prepared gourmet sandwiches for his work lunch every single day. I had him over every night amid candlelight and flowers and beautiful music and lavish cocktails. I was impeccably dressed, beautifully made up, and I sang, meditated and played outside with my girls. I took care of his every sensual need and reassured him of my constant and passionate affection. His life with me was a beautiful dream come true, because I AM A BEAUTIFUL DREAM COME TRUE FOR ANY MAN! I told my counselor this week: "It's one step from here to the person I really am, isn't it? It's just one step." Last night I went out to dinner with my friends for the first time in six months. We drank wine, laughed, swore, laughed, ate, drank wine and laughed some more. I drove home blaring Shaun Cassidy (yes, Shaun Cassidy) on my car CD player. It was the first lovely night of the year. When I turned down my block, the narc was coming the other way! It was 10:30pm. I literally laughed out loud as I passed him, thinking, "Yeah, narc! I can go out at night, too!!!!!!!!!" Today I set up for my high school's 60th anniversary dinner, which I'll attend tonight by myself and half a blast at. This week I have two dates from CatholicMatch.com and one drink date with a new female friend. I was invited last week to speak in November at a paranormal weekend at the Stanley Hotel in Colorado, with the "Ghost Adventures" cast! I also did something really scary for me right now. A friend posted on Facebook that he was looking for someone to drive to Lexington with him for a ghost hunt late in May at an old sanitarium. I used to do this kind of stuff all the time, but since the narc I have lost all my confidence for road trips and overnights away from my kids. I wrote him immediately and said, "Take me!" So I'm going! I wake up every night thinking, "Why did I say I'd do this?" And I'm scared to go, But I'm going, dammit! My brother asked me last week if I'd be interested in doing some grant writing for the hospital where he is on the board of directors and my first thought was, NO! I want to sit in my house all day where it's safe. But I said, "YES!" I'm just going to say "YES!" from now on. That's what I do! I made a deal with myself to not be afraid anymore. I'm with you!

Count me in ! Dx

blessing, i would kill to feel the way you do and actually go through with it.......i say every other hour, ive had it, i cant live like this, but then, i obsess and take 10 steps backwards and downwards, funny though, my daughter and son both told me, you were always to good for dad, and he fucking knows it, thats why he picks bottom of the barrel ows, to make himself feel good, hes tried so hard to break you down and actually make you a bottom of the barrel, but no matter how much he torments you and crushes you, you still look and act so far above his league, he cant take it. they say nothing he could ever do to you and no matter how crazy you get, he just cant bring you down to his level......and he fucking knows that....lol got to love my children they are much smarter than their mom.........good luck to you blessing, you go girl, and please try to help me get their as well, because i am suffrocating..........horribly from the blinding pain....