I'M BEING BOLD HERE - WHO IS READY FOR A 360 TURNAROUND?

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#1 Apr 30 - 1PM

blessingindisguise

I'M BEING BOLD HERE - WHO IS READY FOR A 360 TURNAROUND?

That's it. I'm done! I'VE HAD IT! Here is what I know: We are awesome! We are intelligent, valuable, talented, decent, authentic amazing people! We've got the stuff! That's why the narc left. He or she was always jealous of us and knew we were too good for them. They somehow managed to get us to doubt ourselves and tear down our ability to be our best selves. Come on, we already KNOW we have greatness within us. That's why the narc chose us. I don't know why the narcs thought that they could get our attributes just by association LOL! They don't have it - we do!

Who's ready to take everything back and then some? Who is ready to stand tall with your true light shining and once again be our radiant authentic selves? I AM! Who is with me? This is a movement, folks! We have steep obstacles to climb but we will get there! Think of people who have overcome tough life circumstances and turned it into a major success. We can do it too because of who we are!

I think we need a group of those who are ready to kick some major booty! I'm now beginning to exercise, eat right, take care of myself and say yes to new opportunities, experiences, friendships, etc. The more we reach outside of our box, the further we get away from the narc to become our best selves and create a new life, a new history. I would love to see posts about personal victories that have nothing to do with the narc. Maybe you accomplished something you never thought you could do before. Post it! Or maybe you had a new experience, made new friends, got a new job, tried a new exercise program, etc. Post it! Small victories are just as important as the large ones. Post those too! It's about moving forward and keep reaching out for the new. Come on, we already know we have greatness within us. That's why the jealous narc chose us!

I know there are those who are not quite ready to move ahead to this point but I think many are. We may take 2 steps forward and 1 step back at times, but we can be there to pick each other up and help move each other ahead. I know I could really use something like this. What do you all think?

#2 May 2 - 11AM

spinning

Blessing and all,

I'm in too! It starts with small steps but I am here to tell you six months after the D & D some pretty amazing things are beginning to happen for the former wreck known as 'spinning'!!!! As Blessing mentioned below, I have become less stressed and obsessed, laugh and smile much more easily and am slowly emerging from the long dark tunnel and the great thing is people are noticing and responding! It's absolutely fantastic. I push myself out of the comfort zone and it's been worth it, worth it, worth it! The sucker didn't take me down...can't, couldn't though he really, really tried!! This board and all of you are the best! love from (not) spinning!!!!

spinning

#3 May 6 - 11AM (Reply to #40)

blessingindisguise

To Spinning and Everyone Here

Loved your post! It really is about stepping out of your comfort zone and to keep reaching, keep pressing on! Today I want to post that I was so exhausted but I made myself work out anyway. I know exercise is so key in this process and the hard part is to get yourself going. I'm so glad I did. It may be something small, but I know over time, the benefits are incredible in the recovery process.

#4 May 6 - 11AM (Reply to #41)

spinning

Good work, Blessing!

You are so right about all of it, including the exercise part. That's one thing I kept up with and even added yoga class three times a week. I look forward to it and it renews my spirit and feels good. Some mornings I am so not in the mood to work out but I force it because I know it will help my mental attitude and it always does. Blessing, thanks for your positive 'spin' on things with your posts. We are capable of great things and just have to be reminded of that after enduring the dreadful experience of a relationship with a disordered person. Love and good vibes for a great weekend from, (not) spinning (not in the least today and IT FEELS GREAT)!!!

spinning

#5 May 6 - 11AM (Reply to #42)

blessingindisguise

Thanks, Spinning!

You have a great weekend too!

#6 May 2 - 8AM

Used

name of group

it comes from the SAS WHO DARES WINS, we all dared to get out,WE WONXX

#7 May 4 - 11AM (Reply to #37)

blessingindisguise

used

Since I'm still a newbie on the board, what is SAS? BTW, I love the name WHO DARES WINS for the group. Anyone else?

#8 May 4 - 12PM (Reply to #38)

Used

bid

special air service, the first time i was ever aware of them was there was a hostage/siege incident in the lybian embassy in london. i believe they are like A SWAT TEAM OR SEALS IN USXXX

#9 May 2 - 10AM (Reply to #32)

dudette

good one used

do you think the SAS will mind? ;-) Dx

#10 May 2 - 10AM (Reply to #33)

Used

dudette

i dont think they will be threatend by it? lolxx

#11 May 2 - 11AM (Reply to #34)

dudette

used

oooooh you know I am not so sure, I think we are gathering a number of kick ass angels on this Board, I would watch out in their place....

#12 May 2 - 11AM (Reply to #35)

Used

that was my point, who will

that was my point, who will mess with us now.

#13 May 2 - 12PM (Reply to #36)

dudette

ah lol sorry

A glass of wine too many in the sunshine and I am running a bit slow ;-) Dx

#14 May 2 - 2AM

Kitty02 (not verified)

Fabulous post....you are a

Fabulous post....you are a woman of my own heart. I have had two narcs since my husband died 13 years ago but during that time both my sons nearly died. My eldest five years ago when he was 22 and my youngest last year at 16. Both were in road accidents, both had brain injury, both were given a very low percentage to live, something like between 1%~5% but both have survived and are doing fabulous :-)))). It was a very hard and terrifying time to get through on both occasions but get through it we have. The youngest is still under the hospital and we go away for a weeks therapy at a wonderful place that deals with children that have brain related illness/injury for a week for therapy but other then that you wouldn't know either of my children have been in an accident. I have meet many wonderful people through my life that have had major traumas in their life's yet deal with it and are strong and it truly puts things into perspective, although I don't in any way disrespect what a relationship with a personality disordered person can do to another human being having been through it myself, it is another form of trauma. I am a great believer in the simple life, the basics, it's nice to be nice whilst still having health boundaries, being honest with yourself, eating healthy, exercise. This is the life that works for me and this is the life I am sticking to from now on.

#15 May 2 - 2AM

dudette

Unicorns

I have been thinking about Unicorns because in many mythologies, they are a symbol of female strength and beauty How about it as a name for this group?

#16 May 2 - 7AM (Reply to #29)

blessingindisguise

dudette

I really like this and what it stands for we are beautiful and strong! I think it may also be good to have a name that directly states what we are doing. Even something simple and to the point like Operation 360. I would love to see what everyone comes up with and we can come together and make a final decision.

#17 May 1 - 10AM

blessingindisguise

Here Is Another One,..

"The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state on mind".

#18 May 1 - 9AM

blessingindisguise

Quote From Dr. Wayne Dyer, Staying On The Path

"To live your life in the way you choose, you have to be a bit rebellious. You have to be willing to stand up for yourself".

#19 May 1 - 9AM

blessingindisguise

Something That Has Been So Helpful To Me In This Process

I don't know how many of you have heard of Pastor Joel Osteen. He is the pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. He is on tv on Sunday mornings. You can also download his messages on itunes and can also watch his broadcasts on his website. For example, his sermon today was entitled "Display Your Joy". He talked about choosing to have joy when you are going through tough times - choosing to smile by faith, have a spring in your step - to fake it until you make it! Use these tough times to pass the test and develop your character. Your joy will infect others (a big part of what we can do for each other here!). He says get in the habit of smiling on purpose, whether it's at the grocery store clerk, coworkers, etc. You need to let your joy be seen! He even told about how studies show that smiling has a positive impact on others. When you smile at someone, you are basically saying "I'm for you". People who smile also tend to get more promotions, breaks, etc. I find so much truth, strength and power in what he has to say. If this is something that is helpful to you, great. If not, that is okay, too! Receive what is helpful and pass on what does not work for. There is no judgement here! This is about you and what works for you. Just keep in mind the spirit in which something is given - to give something that may be helpful. We are not here to convert or judge anyone.

#20 May 1 - 9AM

JLMNY1

I'm in! I'm just over two

I'm in! I'm just over two months from the D&D and move out, and I've been making positive steps to move forward. I was so down about having to quit my job when I moved from his apartment, but I just landed a job back at a place I used to work, and I start this week. I'm so excited! This has boosted my energy completely. I've also lost 20 pounds since the D&D, so I'm feeling great about that! I joined Weight Watchers online and steadily lost weight. I feel like the old me already- good job, back to the size I used to be. And while I'm not ready to date anyone exclusively yet, I am starting to look around and see who's out there. I've also joined meetup.com and joined some groups to meet new people. Great post! It's good to see everyone here being proactive about our Narc-less futures!

#21 May 1 - 9AM (Reply to #24)

blessingindisguise

JLMNY1

Welcome! This is so awesome! Congrats on your new job and your weight loss! I love how you also joined meetup.com to meet new people. I love how you say you "feel like the old me already". This is the stuff, guys! We are giving each other ideas to try new things and show it can be done IN SPITE OF THIS EXPERIENCE! Bad things happen to good people, but it's also true that good people can get through it and be better off than they were before!

#22 May 1 - 8AM

blessingindisguise

You Guys Rock!

Rev72, I love the fact that you teach the 7 Habits. Share your info with us! Marissa, Stayinstrong78, lynn61,Kauaigirl, onwithmylife, dudette, helldweller and Jaycee (yes, Jaycee, you're coming with us!), you guys rock! Share any positive/helpful information with the group along with your accomplishments, big and small. Some of the information may resonate with you, some may not. This is about individual recovery! Just remember the intention behind us sharing information is to help each other. Let's not pass judgement on each other - God knows the narc passed enough judgement on us in the past! We are here to support, uplife and cheer each other on! What should we call this group? Any suggestions?

#23 May 1 - 3PM (Reply to #22)

Tinker

suggestions

i was thinking about jaycee when someone wrote about about 'fake it til you make it'. JAYCEE: pretend you're not obsessing and get away from that piece of steroid crap and you'll get a different perspective! yes it hurts like hell but once you accept that you have no choice but to move on because he's killing you if you don't, you'll get the strength to do it. it will hurt LESS if you stop letting him re-injure you every day. so, join the club and tell us something positive, even a little thing:). i swear...we're all going to do an online INTERVENTION for you! so, what's in a name? ..."moving on"? "sunshine club"? "a better life"? "becoming whole again"? "i love ME"? "first day of the rest of my life"? "moving toward truth and love" ...honestly, i don't know, just trying to stir the pot! anyone else?

#24 Apr 30 - 9PM

rew72

360 turnaround

I am in! I teach 7 Habits training by Stephen Covey and the first habit is Be Proactive. It is the mindset that I am a product of my choices and not the product of my circumstances. If we live this habit, we focus on the things we can control. We use our imagination to envision where we want to be. We choose our own "weather" each day, meaning it is our choice how we are going to spend our physical and emotional energy. I teach it...I need to get back to living it! :) I bet I could post specifics for each habit and how it relates to our recovery. Thoughts on that as part of our 360 journey?

#25 Apr 30 - 9PM

Tinker

great idea!

i'm still feeling a little shaky from the final D&D last week but this post is inspiring! my intuitist told me that my N was threatened by me - i have a better job than him, make more money, have children/family(he has neither), do volunteer work and can control my own life so much better than him that he's so afraid i'll eclipse him. i sometimes tried to show him how well i'm doing so he'd want me more, but sometimes sensed his fear and tried to hide my shine:). she also said he was threatened by my going to therapy as that is very scary to him and shows my power and self-awareness. he always said nasty things about me going to therapy. so, now we can shine on our own and only accept people into our lives who accept and appreciate how wonderful we really are!

#26 Apr 30 - 6PM

Steph

Awesome idea! I posted awhile

Awesome idea! I posted awhile back about "tooting each others horns" about accomplishments etc...... C'Mon girls and guys! Let's have it! Share your sucessess, big or small!

#27 Apr 30 - 5PM

lynn61

blessingindisguise

i'm right there with you!!

really??

#28 Apr 30 - 4PM

kgirl

I'm in!... I need to think of

I'm in!... I need to think of some goals. I think for me it may be to start running again...trim some weight :) I have to think more....but this is INSPIRING!!! XoXo~KG

#29 Apr 30 - 4PM

onwithmylife

BLESSING ,this is great!

LOVE your post, I am 2 years out and made a move to another state I wanted to go to by MYSELF, knowing no one here, I feel it was very courageous and gutsy, sure I am very lonely at times trying to make new friends, but I wanted this new life and keep the faith and hope that I will go on to happy, fulfilled love and love a man again who can love me BACK!!

#30 Apr 30 - 2PM

blessingindisguise

By The Way.....

I never noticed all the cute men around! I swear, they are coming out of the woodwork!

#31 Apr 30 - 3PM (Reply to #14)

dudette

and with that sunshine

they are all looking cuter than ever LOL But this one will stay at arms' lentgh, N or not.... Weirdo magnet no more.....

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