The hunted

6 posts / 0 new

#1 Aug 13 - 11AM

Aliveagain

The hunted

I've been NC for 8 months. A mutual friend of ours is in town. He doesn't know the proper story and I'm trying to keep it that way. He had a friendship with this person before our involvement.
I don't want to make matters worse for myself so my strategy is just to lay low...permanently. Anyway mutual friend is now playing match-maker (to some degree) between us. I know the P is pushing for this through the mutual friend based on things the mutual friend is saying "Oh don't you hate it when 'what could have been never gets to be' because of circumstance and the fact that things get misconstrued by each party to the detriment of the entire relationship when all it needed was an opportunity to flourish?". Ah no. I don't want those kinds of fkng opportunities I just want this crazy P out of my fkng life. I was doing so well, I was almost completely over thinking about this fkstick and now yesterday I was beside myself with anxiety and fear because I do not want to see this person again and the mutual friend would be in shock if he knew what really happened...and of course the P paints the "total misunderstanding" picture. Anyway now I am thinking about him and all that sh*t again. This enormous wound has opened and it is killing me. My mind is racing I can only think abotu this total idiot and I'm fantasising about having sex with him again! I don't want to fantasize about this ars*hole. If I see him I know I will crumble, he'll lure me back and I'll be on this merry-go-round. I don't WANT to cut off contact w the mutual friend because we're very close and he is an amazing friend and fabulous time. God. It feels like square fkng 1 all over. I am not supply!!!!!!! Really need to vent. GRRRRR.

#2 Aug 13 - 12PM

betty2020

Im so sorry this happened to

Im so sorry this happened to you Alive. I had the same thing take place yesterday. ugggg. I had to make the choice to cut the contact. You have come to far to risk the loss of what you have accomplished. The connection i had to cut was with a child as well so this made it especially difficult. She is young and doesn't understand. I feel bad but i have to set priority's and my life is more important than ever today. I cant have anything deter me from my focus of recovery. I clutch on to this like i did my Ms Beasley doll when i was a child. Holding it for dear life. I never want to return to that state of anguish and pain. Remember if you give in; your back to square one. And congrats on the 8 months!!! So awesome.. xoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

#3 Aug 13 - 12PM

Used

aliveagain

tell this fab guy, that if he is the good friend you believe him too be, can he not mention narc ever again, and if he is the guy you think he is he wont, someone posted ,i think it was on utube, a man called medea, something about if you ask someone to not do or say something any more, and they still do,they aint no friend, so he said let them go, i think it is a us sitcom, and i took heed of it, and i let someone go, who,s sole purpose in life seemed to be telling me everything the narc done or was doing, i let them go. good luck.

#4 Aug 13 - 11AM

NinjaGirl

If your friend is so

If your friend is so fabulous, he'll understand if you tell him directly that you don't want to see, talk to, or talk about your former dumbass. If he persists, well, you really enjoyed his company at one point but won't let him disrespect your wishes. But you pretty much have to look your friend square in the eye and say it as clear and strong as possible. Men understand directness. Most of my friends are men, and we get along well because I tend to like the strong, direct, to-the-point approach as well.

#5 Aug 13 - 11AM

wholeagain

I'm sorry

You're going through this :( I know you want to be careful with the mutual friend and I think you can do that while still not saying much. Maybe a simple, "look--there are two sides to every story, I don't want to get into any details but I don't want to see or talk about the ex. Please respect my decision on this." Your wellbeing is clearly at stake--you need to speak up on your own behalf.

#6 Aug 13 - 11AM (Reply to #2)

Aliveagain

Yes, you're right. I guess

Yes, you're right. I guess the thing is that my exP is so well thought of amongst general company. He's a model employee and is known to be very intelligent and seemingly sincere. Which he is not, of course. I am sh*t scared of him doing something to me. Sexually, mostly. In a coercive manner. Once I realised that I was on this never ending merry-go-round I dropped him just like he had done me. He was completely shocked and kept trying to talk to me. I completely NC'd him and have done for 8 months. I can be outrageously stubborn when necessary. I actually got a huge thrill out of giving him his own medicine...though a week later I was wracked with self-loathing and guilt over my conduct. I don't behave like that. He was forcing me into a corner. Anyway, this mutual friend is trying to get us to go to the same functions etc and my reservations for telling are because we work in the same industry. This is why this whole thing is so toxic, he will completely destroy my reputation. He is fkng angry at me because I outplayed HIM and oh uh that's never happened. It made me feel brave but now I see that I have almost tormented him and for this I believe I might just pay...very dearly. WHen I talk to friends who know they don't get it. They think I'm exaggerating but I KNOW that that's not true. This guy is a maniac and worse yet there is still that little bit of "hope" that keeps me going "maybe...x, y and z" but I know its not true. He is a predator and I feel like prey. I am constantly scared that he 'tracks' me. I can't believe that meeting ONE person can screw up your entire life so outrageously. I pray for myself and for all you ladies, these men are dangerous, crazy people and its so unfortunate that we had to meet them. x

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews