HELP suicidal Hooverer

14 posts / 0 new

#1 May 18 - 5AM

freedomgirl

HELP suicidal Hooverer

I have been trying to maintain NC for the past 3 1/2 weeks and have only seen him once when he turned up desperate and crying. He was leaving flowers on my door step and txting me which I ignored. He turned up at my house today again very upset and has now told me that he lied to me throughout our whole relationship about his financial situation , had attemped suicide during one of our breakups and was going to suicide the other day when he left here but his sister turned up and stopped him. He hashed through all the crap with me and told me he knows he was wrong and put me last. He was trying to suck me back in. He is going to the Phycyotrist tomorrow and wanted to know if i would go to talk to his shrink at a later date.
He seemed to have an answer for everything and I really did start feeling sorry for him. I wanted to hug him and take care of him but I didnt. He kept saying that if we got back together it would be different cause he would move in with me and my kids(we always lived in seperate houses)and he kept talking about how he should have married me and committed more to me.
He is making out like he has seen the light and has a long journey of self exceptance to go through and then we will be happy together. Can an N really change?
I really didnt say much to him other than I like the way i am now and dont want to go back to being that person again. He said he didnt want me to be that person either and wanted the person he first met.
He has given me a major head fuck today. I was doing so well and now dont know what way is up. Please I need some help. I have started to rebuild my life and now I am doubting myself and feeling like if he gets help maybe it would be different. Do they change?
HELP !!!!!!!

#2 May 19 - 5AM

Jannie In the Sun

Everything I have read say

Everything I have read say that N's don't change - they change people or tactics. I still love my N, but only as a person. Actions speak louder than words. I have written a list of actions that hurt me so deeply and I keep it close by for those times when I second guess myself.

#3 May 18 - 9AM

findingmeagain

PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE HIM!!!

Mines said all this too even swore on his mother's grave he was serious only to D&D me 10 days later for the OW. I called him yesterday after NC for 3 weeks he quickly got me off the phone and turn his phone off to voicemail. He is lying about everything he told you. How do you try to commit suicide you either do it or you don't. His sister stopped him and she didn't check him into a hospital? HE IS LYING! Analyze what he is saying.

#4 May 18 - 8AM

Happy1

He won't change....Narcs

He won't change....Narcs cannot change. Just remain NC! Let him work out his own issues. You have to worry about yourself only. If you don't worry about you, he certainly won't. After all, didn't he just make everything about HIM again? NC

#5 May 18 - 7AM

booboo35

Your not going to believe

Your not going to believe what has just happened Ex narc has just got one of his mates to knock at mine, I just told him to go away. See mine has started hoovering again. They will never just fuckoff will they?? Arseholes x

STAY STRONG!! XX

#6 May 18 - 7AM

mynewlife2011

3 day Psych hold

Call 911 and tell them he said he was going to kill himself so the police will collect him and place him in a psych ward for 3 days. At least it ill give you 3 days of peace and quiet They are drama queens

#7 May 18 - 10AM (Reply to #9)

Hunter

Mynewlife

Hahahaha!!

#8 May 18 - 7AM

Hunter

Attempted suicide… HAHAHAHA,

Attempted suicide… HAHAHAHA, They will never kill themselves, too vain. Saying that is a form of control. He saw the light for 5 minutes than it's gloom and doom. Why didn't he take you to the shrink with him. Why? because he's not going. Its a bunch of lies. You answered the headfuck yourself. You started to rebuild your life, he doesn't like it. Run,Run, Be Strong Hunter

#9 May 18 - 9AM (Reply to #7)

findingmeagain

EXACTLY HUNTER

Lets just analyze what he said. He tried to commit suicide , there is no such thing as this. He either is going to do it or you dont. He is going to see a shrink and wants her to come . Didn't I see one of the stories on here say that her husband or bf wanted her to go to a shrink and when she did he turned it around on her to make her look like the crazy one. These people are full of lies it hurts to know this but there whole life is one big lie.

#10 May 18 - 7AM (Reply to #6)

mynewlife2011

N and suicide

My ExN used to say "I would never kill myself, why would I do that? I would murder the person who pissed me off, that way I could continue to get my workouts in inside prison."

#11 May 18 - 7AM

Kiwi2005

I haven't had this kind of

I haven't had this kind of hoover, for that matter I haven't had any kind of hoover for a few weeks. BUT I still think you should stay away... I feel like it's just his way of sucking you back in and you just can't!!! Be strong! Don't fall for the tricks! Think of all the horrible things, all the shit you've been through--- Don't! If he's suicidal, that's not your problem, some things in life we need to leave to GOD this is one of 'em- not your problem. STAY STRONG!!!

#12 May 18 - 6AM

madashell

change

no they don`t change,it`s all just a game to get you back.Once you are it won`t take long to go back to how things were.Mine said he was going to commit suicide,a friend of mine saw him in a pub when he was suppose to be doing this chatting up 3 women.Three times I had him back because I believed he had and I hoped he had changed,how stupid was I.The violence got worse as well as everything else.Everytime we split up or should I say I threw him out he was going to kill himself,they just want you to feel sorry for them,they don`t mean it they think to much of themselves to actually go through with it.Please don`t have him back you`ll just be playing the game,don`t play

#13 May 18 - 7AM (Reply to #3)

Mag

change

I absolutely agree with you, madashell....mine said the same thing when we were breaking up--he had nothing to live for, blah, blah....it's all lies...he is still alive and kicking....he's doing much better than me financially...they find ways to survive.....they're pathetic!!!!

#14 May 18 - 6AM

booboo35

Please dot go back to him,

Please dot go back to him, You only need to look at me, And my post 3 months back i went back and my Ex narc was threatening suicide on his fb page. I am in a right mess now back to square one of starting NC again, It is there way of gaining control and manipulating you. I felt so sorry for him all the girls had warned me on here but i caved him and gave him one last chance and he shit on me again, Please ignore this nasty Bastard, If he is gonna kill himself there is nothing you can do about it. But he has not got the balls, It is just another part of there sick twisted Hoovering Techniques to try fuck your life up. They really are evil and can not and do not change, Hugs xxx

STAY STRONG!! XX

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