I work with my narc as well. I try to avoid seeing him as much as possible. Him seeing me seems to make him more aggressive.
BUT what you are seeing is the underhanded stuff that he did while you were dating. Seeing it out in the open should give you relief that you are done with him. You are now seeing the behavior that you were suspicious of all along. That's how I see it anyway.
I actually had to have security clued in to what's going on with my ex-Narc because he was harrassing me in my office and keeping me from being able to move about and do my job. Ridiculous!!! He didn't want me when he had me and now he's being a complete whack job.
sunflowergirl70--The under-handedness is totally transparent now, for sure. I try to take comfort from that but feel so anxious at the moment. I went to therapy to help me through the first other woman and feel like I'm regressing. I'm not even over that one yet and it's happening again!!!
The ego trip he's not getting from me, he'll probably now get from this other one, who is dressed up today, for him, I think. GGGGRRRRRRRR. I'm so frustrated.
Some consolation to know I'm outside of that. But I hate how things fall into place when he needs them.
I've really started noticing that with the Evil Genious. I heard him talking to one of the secretaries the other day. She had gone into the work area and he said. "Oh I just sensed you were there"! Blech.
Another thing he does is when he gets attention from someone he'll follow them around trying to keep them engaged. It's gross.
One of the other nurses told him she went to a psychic and was told that they were related in another life. That was the wrong thing to say to him, lol. He thinks he's psychic too. Just one of his many special gifts (eyes rolling).
Please remember your job is #1 on your priority and he does not matter. I know how you are feeling. God, I feel sick when I read your note. It's all so familiar. I worked with my N. I will tell you the mistake I made. I would not do what I needed to do in my job and lost complete focus! My employer noticed and I was slipping. I couldn't help myself. I was walking by his cubicle a lot to see what he was doing and I was texting him when I knew I shouldn't. He was with someone else and I was begging him to take me back.. I was crying in the ladies room at work... I was crying at lunch. I then got laid off and I had such a good job that I screwed up. Now, I have a job that I start Monday that I'm thankful for but I've take a 30,000 pay cut to get my foot in the door. I'm not thrilled but I am thrilled to not work with my N ever again.
Don't do what I did. Forget he exists when you are at work if you can. Please don't do what I did and lose your job as a result. Remember how important your career is to you. I'm begging you! PLEASE don't let him take your job from you. You may not think you are slipping in my job but if your mind is on him then you are! Trust me you are and it will be noticed! This economy is hard now and the market is impossible. Forget about the jerk!!! Hugs!
Yes, you're right. I can't concentrate right now. I think I will get my work done nonetheless, bc even when this first started happening, with the OW (whom he was cheating with while still with me) I managed.
But I was doing better lately, and now I feel sick. I know you can relate. I'm so furious that he is getting another one, that women are there to fill the gap. He is brutal, and I don't want him, but I can't stand this attention and validation.
And he seems to be keeping a bit more distance from me this week. I don't know if it's his ego, which is not getting a boost from me these days. Otherwise, it's bc of this woman. I can't figture it out. He flirts a bit with me when she's here, but then once recently he marched right around the divider and asked her how she was just after he had been talking to me!
He flirts more with me when no one else is around. Today he isn't acknowledging me, at least so far. And the two of them are talking about things that I don't even see relate to her, though they are work-related.
I know, I'm paying too close attention. I am better overall but this is really bothering me again....
Please just do your best to concentrate on your job the best you can. I know you think you are doing okay, but so did I for a while. It will get noticed so you have to try even harder.
If you are able, I would look for another job. That's just my opinion. My N was the worst poison for me in the work place and I'm thankful to not work with him anymore. It's a horrible thing. I'm hoping you can do what is best for you. Good luck!
Yes we did :). And yes I am
Work issues
Transparent treachery
Just realize he was never genuine
Rinalda
Yes, you're right. I can't
Please just do your best to