He sent me note he's on dating site

I think i remember you live in the bay area??? if so, ask betty to send an email to me with your contact info and perhaps we should get together!

Do you really need help with understanding the concept of his disorder? If so, you need more research. What will it take? What is the :one" thing your looking for? He is trying to cause this pain on you.You know what you could do? Read more, educate yourself more to justify not contacting him.

for some reason it did not let me post my entire comment, so press the edit button to read it all, if you wish.

Remember me, the one who spent 15 years off and on with the Narc, yours is treating you as bad, if not WORSE

Now, he can go on to match.com and find someone else to torment. I know how difficult it is, but just try to find a way to see it as pathetic. Of course he will say it is all your fault. They can not take blame for anything. This will get better for you, I promise, even if it does not seem like it will now. Peace.

More proof that he is an N. Don't u dare go look on match it will only hurt you trust me I did it and it crushed me. The type of woman he was looking for described me to a tee. He even used specific things that he had done with me in his profile. For a few minutes I almost couldn't breath for a few minutes. Do not respond or look it will only bring pain

Don't fall for the trap. He is just fishing to get a response from you, and more the better if that response is an emotional one. He feeds on your sadness and your tears. I know how hard it is to ignore. I know what it feels like to desperately want to hear from him and fear hearing from him all at the same time. I worked with mine too. It is utter hell. It gets better. Don't open yourself up to new pain, and the old pain will start to heal. Think about the nice thing you will do for yourself tonight. Buy yourself a great dinner, watch a movie you've been dying to see, go have cocktails with a friend (and DON'T talk about him.) Refocus. Create something to look forward to.

Take some deep breaths and try to dis-engage from him. I know it's hard. You have to take care of you. He is a complete jerk, and he is being purposely MEAN. Don't fall for it!! Hold your head up high!! You have support!

I would have to agree with Betty on this one, for sure. It is time to take responsibility for your own recovery. This man is punishing you and rubbing it in your face. What a jerk. I personally can relate...I don't know if it is out of habit to look, or a driving compulsion or sometimes one or the other. But listen, what you don't know can't hurt you! You want to know about his disorder and be educated regarding it, but you don't want to know about HIS LIFE! It will only hurt you. Did you read up on Briseis post on the other website? He is out trolling for weaker prey then he is punishing you for not being that sick, weak, slow prey he can pounce on. Think of him as some predator. Be thankful you are out of his sites...you are a strong, fast beautiful gazelle that has outrun him. Be happy (like your name), that you have had a second chance to have have a new start!

I agree with everyone else here, this man is evil and intentionally doing whatever he can to get a reaction from you. No normal person is so cruel. No man worth loving would ever be so heartless and mean spirited. You deserve so much better and he deserves none of you! I hope you can feel better, trust you have the strength to rise above his devaluation of you! He is not someone worth any more of your energy or to take seriously in any way, as he is seriously sick. ((((hugs))) Journey on...

Please think about this.....WHAT KIND OF MAN TELLS A WOMAN SOMETHING LIKE THIS? You did not cause his actions, you are not in control of his actions. If he got on there, its because HE wanted too!!!! HE is playing the blame game!!! Plus intentionally trying to hurt you. Give yourself 5 min, breathe deep and think of some woman you care about deeply, what would you tell her if she was in your shoes? Stay strong, try your best to ignore him.

Happy, Why do you continue to inflict pain and misery upon yourself? You have been with us long enough to understand that you must take some part of the responsibility in your own recovery once you have been enlightened to the dysfunctional relationship your in with this demented individual. You responsibility is protecting your mental health and sanity. The only way to do this is to block all means of communication. Im not telling you something you do not know by now. If you continue to allow him to contact you, you will continue to struggle. The pain will not go away. The obsessive thoughts will plague you and linger indefinitely. You know this. You must break this addiction. We are not kidding anyone when we keep the door open for contact with these people. This is what we do as we have not committed to moving forward and are still hanging on. I did it and Im sure others will tell you the same. When you allow them the means to connect with you, it is only because you still want the connection. And this ultimately is a choice that only you can make however, you must understand that along with this comes all of the things such as pain, anger, resentment, obsessive thoughts, hypervidgalence, crying, physical ailments, confusion etc... But more importantly is that you are continuing to allow yourself to be held captive. A prisoner to the beast. You life is suspended, frozen and will never break free from the chains of this bondage until you are ready to let this go. No contact is for you to heal and recover. It is your way to freedom. No one ever told you here that this would be easy, fun, enjoyable. It wasnt for me in the beginning. But i can tell you that it is the only way. We have no "Option B" for us in recovery. Once your ready to relinquish the idea that you have power or control over this person, realize and accept that you can not fix, change or rectify the past with him, understand that you have done all within the scope of your power and have turned up empty handed, you have to realize that the only way to fix the problem is to fix yourself. And this involves complete removal from this toxic person. You know i luv you girl. We have had many of convos in the past and I have worried about you for some time. I have struggled this road to recovery right along with you. But, like it or not, i consider you a dear friend. And with this comes my responsibility to tell you only truths. Your real friends tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. So im telling you that it is time now to shift gears. The old ways no longer work for you Happy. I think you ultimately know this. I also know deep inside that you know what does. So with this said, take that next step. Block this person physically out of your life for good. Permanent and forever. Make this commitment to yourself. You need it and deserve it after all that you have been through. Lots of Love Betty xoxo only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

God! I'm mad for you. Keep it together! K?

This guy is a true asshole! You should be laughing at him. I know it hurts, that what he's trying to do. It's working isn't it? He makes my narc look like prince charming. Be glad you got out of this, he is not normal. I told you call me if you need to. I think you should tell your job you are sick, leave and get a massage! Love Idealk

Be strong! Keep it together for the rest of your shift. Try not to let him have so much power over you as you are worth so much more. If things are really bad and there is another staff member to take over from you, see if you can get home as a last resort. If this man is a N - he is not worth losing your job for. Your life, your job and your other relationships matter more. Deep breaths, distractions, anything to focus away from him. You are worth more than him. Sending you big hugs and kind thoughts.