The Path Forward Virtual Retreat Febuary 2021!



The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's Story

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Feb 6 - 6AM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Inspiration

Girlfriend--You are really an inspiration. Your self-confidence. Your strength to stand up for yourself & not take it anymore just shines through in all your posts throughout this blog. Little or no self-doubt. Fantastic! I am so happy for you.
Feb 5 - 12AM
no more
no more's picture

Don't you wish we could warn the next victims

It would have been nice if someone had of warned me and when you actually think about it I would guess that is something we should be doing,,,,,,,,protecting our sisters.

I just got involved with the same N for the second time.
What was I thinking? Because I have put myself back to the same point where I am blaming myself again. And for what?
I want to get rid of these feelings again.

Feb 5 - 8AM (Reply to #22)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

exposure!

that's why I BEG people to put these pricks on the exposure sites... it takes YOU out of the equation... and if the new victim doesn't google him - that's HER problem, not yours! ~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free... but first it will piss you off - Gloria Steinem Visit My Abuse Website
Feb 5 - 4AM (Reply to #20)
GettingOut
GettingOut's picture

sd0355

If someone had warned you would you have listened? I wish I had. I was dating the N for about 2 months when his ex-girlfriend contacted me with a warning. She told me he had hit her so hard he had broken her eardrum. I told her to never call me again with her lies. When I told the N about it he put on his shocked facade, saying he would never do something like that. Through conversation we both determined that she was simply jealous and wanted him back. I would not have believed someone. Why? He was in full blown rope-me-in mode. The charm, the great sex, the attention, the dinners out, etc. Now, I was only 20 at the time so perhaps that had to do with my reaction to her words. You know, she wants him and I have him so ha...ha...ha. I was blogging awhile ago and he, a person he works with, and, based on where the other reader came from, quite possibly his new victim, read it. Other than throwing him into major rages for a few days, it didn't do anything because he still has a job and the GF. I think that if they have their act in full swing nobody would believe a word we say.
Jun 17 - 11AM (Reply to #21)
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

If Someone Had Warned Me

I have given that ALOT of thought. Would I have listened if someone had warned me? His ex-wife (with whom I am friendly behind the scenes for several years during my relationship with this sick bastard) told me that she had wanted to warn me, but didn't think I would listen, and she was afraid of what he might do if I had told him what she had said. I understand her hesitation. Perhaps because I am in my 'mature' years (ahem) and have more life experience, I can say that I WOULD definately have listened. Maybe I wouldn't have wanted to believe it in the beginning...but would have been more watchful for the red flags and as they started popping up, I might have remembered what I was told and began to believe it and leave him sooner. If I had been warned of my EXbf's history of extreme violence and arrests and knew the ugly truths of his background (that he hid so well)..I would NEVER have, in a million years given him a second look...no matter how sexy, charming, tall, dark and handsome he appears. See Barbara's post about the Facebook/online profiles of our psychopaths...mine is number FIVE. The 'Boy Next Store'...is actually 'The Psychopath Next Door'. YES! I truly wish I had been warned. After this experience which makes me never want to even think of dating again, should I EVER even want a man in my life again...I will ALWAYS do a complete background check BEFORE getting involved.
Feb 3 - 11AM
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

Cowboy Casanova

Sorry, but I just had to add this link to give everyone a little smile. It is a song/video by Carrie Underwood about warning other women about a 'Cowboy Casanova'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nu32vyCldh8
Feb 5 - 12AM (Reply to #18)
Kelly
Kelly's picture

Awesome!

Loved this video! Girlfriend of J - - I just read your story. Wow. . . Wow . . . . These guys are such cowards. I'm glad you're out of it now. What a sicko.
Jan 24 - 3PM
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

Just checking in to let everyone know I am okay

...and VERY determined to remain 'NO CONTACT'...for the rest of my entire life on this planet. FINALLY got what a huge creep this man is. SO abusive and violent...and terribly destructive...all with that charming smile of his...it is amazing. Beware world...he is currently stalking me...showing up in my apartment building and contacting all my family and friends, even my counselor's office trying to find out where I am and to have a way to contact me. (I changed all my phone numbers!!! HOORAY for me!, proud of myself)...all the while he is stalking me...he is also frantically trying to find a replacement..on facebook, in town and nightclubs all over town...oh yes! and at his work of course (caught him cheating AGAIN, at Christmas with a married co-worker, the disgusting lowlife psychopath)... Anyway,...just wanted you guys who have gotten to know me a little here to know I am okay and hanging in there. My computer does not work at my apartment, so I only get to check in here when I go to the library for now. Just want you guys who are wondering where I have been that I am still here...and looking forward to healing and getting strong and happy again as I used to be before I met this sociopath. xo
Dec 22 - 8AM
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

Thanks everyone

Thanks for sharing your own stories, comments and advice. It is all very helpful in the process of sorting out the truth about narcissists...and my own N BF...so I can be strong and remain NC after I leave him.
Nov 30 - 9AM
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

Thanks for all your posts and support

Thanks to those who read 'my story' and replied with stories/advice/support of their own. Wish there was a way to warn other women (his next prey) about him...what he REALLY is, and not what he pretends to be.
Nov 30 - 8PM (Reply to #13)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

expose him on the exposure sites

http://www.cheatersexpose.com http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com http://exrants.com/ http://liarscheatsandbastards.com http://www.datingpsychos.com http://www.ripoffreport.com http://www.stoptheact.com http://www.peepsheet.com http://www.playerblock.com If they are an online predator: http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com There are a couple places to stay away from and I purposely didn't list those. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. - Gloria Steinem
Dec 1 - 7AM (Reply to #14)
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

Wow! Thank you Barbara!

Barbara, You and Lisa have such a wealth of information and I want to thank you for the links, comments and advice you offer. It is VERY helpful to me and I am certain everyone here as we learn about this pathology and heal. This is great having places to post his name and some info about him (my N BF)...I wish someone had posted him before me and I had known to check these links. I did find his name on 'womansavers.com'...with 3 negative posts about him...too bad I didn't know to look there before!...hopefully his NEXT victim will be smarter than me. And perhaps there is a way to create an anonymous email and send her these links to check him out without directly saying things...just giving her a 'head start' little 'hint'. Thanks again for all you do to help each of us here! You and Lisa are 'Jewels among Gems'! xo
Nov 19 - 10PM
NanC (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

The new gf...

When I saw my exN with his new gf, I didn't know whether to be jealous of her or feel sorry for her. I guess I felt both. I told her he was a pathological liar, a con artist, and a narcissist. I know I came across as a scorned ex gf, but hopefully, when she starts seeing the signs, she'll remember everything I told her. Unfortunately, she was already under his spell. Not only did I tell her but I put his previous exgf on the phone (speaker) and she confirmed what I had just told her. The only response the new gf said was, "Sometimes people just bring out the worst in each other and weren't meant to be together." She's a dumb ass (just as I was). She better be ready to have her world turned upside down!
Nov 20 - 6AM (Reply to #11)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

exactly!

exactly NanC either you'll hear from the new GF saying "you were right" or she'll get dumped and be too embarrassed to validate you. These people go through partners like toilet paper. It has NOTHING - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help
Nov 17 - 4PM
nolongerafixer
nolongerafixer's picture

Thought I was re reading something Id written!!!!

I thought I was rereading something Id already written. Exactly the same, word for word. Before I even looked up the traits of a narcissist/psychopath two years into the relationship, I had named our relationship Jekyle and Hyde, Heaven and Hell, like being on a rollercoaster, mindnumbing and four years later after numerous psychopathic breakups and robotic returns I have been NC for 3 months and have stumbled onto this site which has helped so much knowing Im not mad - others see what I see. But......the experience really does damage a part of your mind and we are all rebuilding with the help of each other as those who havent experienced this would never understand in a million years. Especially those who would remark "you are the perfect couple," "youre sooo in love", "arent you both lucky to have found each other," "you can tell he loves you so much" blah blah and now remark (because they would never guess in a million years what Ive been through) "oooh its such a shame you`re not together, you were so good together". I sometimes try to give them an idea but when I start to explain I feel like im having an outerbody experience as it sounds so surreal. It doesnt fit into normal everyday life with nice people. And you could forgive them for thinking it takes two to tango. I think Ive come a long way to moving on but woooosh a familiar problem today is why when I do so well moving forward with Mr. Hyde in my head does Dr.Jekyle pop back in with a vengeance and I start to question if I should have had one more go and miss him so much. Ridiculous thoughts from an intelligent confident woman with all the dispicable evidence proving such vile treatment on the other hand. I know the answer - because I adored him, still love him, miss all the loving things we did together, all the times I was treated like a princess, being on cloud nine - why dont I hate him, not give him a second thought because of the times he devalued me, discarded me, violently abused me emotionally and physically......... because the good times are significantly at the forefront still. We all have to work hard at going through the motions of eradicating this psychotic infection and hopefully the site will help you excellerate you to a good place.
Dec 4 - 11AM (Reply to #8)
The Girlfriend ...
The Girlfriend of Dr Jekyl's picture

nolongerafixer

I am sorry you had such a similar experience with your N too. I can see that most of us here have common threads in our relationships with our N's. A VERY common denominator it seems is their ability to lie and to cheat without even so much as a shred of guilt...because they are N's they believe their own lies...and feel entitled...so lying and cheating is VERY easy for them and easy to conceal by an N. Without the guilt to give them away, you learn to be more astute at picking up all the other signs and clues to their deception. I am certain they are prone to having other women...even when in a relationship with a beautiful, sexy and loving woman...because no matter how much attention, ego stroking, imaginative amazing sex, validation, recognition, focus, and making them the center of your universe...as they literally DEMAND...it is STILL NOT ENOUGH!...they are always on the prowl for MORE!...one of my first clues to my N BF's need for so much attention was how wherever we went, whatever we were doing...he was always looking at himself in every mirror, or relection in every window...never at me...and he would strut into every room or building...and immediately scope out everyone to see who would notice him...expecially trying to catch the eye of every single woman present... It was actually fascinating to watch at first, completely puzzled me...this behavior...now that I know his personality disorder/pathology...it all fits!!! I am no longedr fascinated nor amused by his N behavior! He is very distructive to many people as he jocky's into position for attention/validation. It is disgusting the things he will do!
Jan 25 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
rache
rache's picture

Therapist

Told me ,IF,Narcissist/s were in a relationship with a BEAUTIFUL movie star(take their pick!)they'd still(get this now)They would STILL CHEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats the nature of the beast called narcissistic personality disorder.It has nothing to do with you,ex gf,or next one.They'd cheat just because............
Nov 17 - 3PM
Bigmango (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

There should be Narcissistic Men Locator sites...

...and I will make the first iPhone app for it!! You story is amazing...and so scary. We have "Car Fax", why not "Man Fax". You can punch in a guy's name, and get credible, documented experiences from the other women he has dated/lived with/married. Had you ever spoken with his ex wife? Past girlfriends? Mother of his children? I often fantisize that my XN's new girlfriend will call me up and want the "scoop"...and what I would say. The funny thing is that shortly after marrying my XN I DID have contact with one of his x girlfriends, a very, very lovely woman, who was offering me some of her daughter's outgrown clothes for our new baby. I asked why they broke up, and she told me. Her story was a complete 180 from his story. She left him because of his constant cocaine and gambling, he said she was using him and left him for another man. When I left him and told him what I knew about this breakup, he admited that he lied to me, and that she did leave because he refused to give up the powder. If I new the truth of their breakup- would I have ever married the guy?? ah, 20/20... I hope and pray that you are finding peace, and that the light of your heart is healing your soul. Peace, C
Nov 17 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

there already are

already are sites to list Narcs, Psychopaths, Losers... www.dontdatehimgirl.com www.peepsheet.com www.datingpsychos.com www.liarscheatsandbastards.com www.cheatersexpose.com www.cheaternews.com www.ripoffreport.com www.truedater.com www.playerblock.com www.relationshit.com There you - now no one should have any excuse NOT to google a guy and read every page when they meet him! ~~~~~~~~~~~~ My Abuse Information Site Online Coaching & Help
Nov 17 - 5PM (Reply to #6)
Bigmango (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

wha...wha....

Awesome!!!!
Nov 17 - 3PM
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

they're shits aren't they.

they're shits aren't they. It amazed me how much mine had lied about his life which I found out after we split and I was with him nearly 8 years and have 2 children, I had no idea about his past abuse to his girlfriends. That's the part I found really hard, realising the massive lies, coming to grips with the fact that i obviously didn't know the real him. Then what came were the massive lies he has said since the split, horrific lies, completely changing history. I had no idea he was so utterly mentally deformed. Glad you've found this site

Ending the dance

Nov 17 - 2PM
4joys4
4joys4's picture

thegirfriend

I was very touched by your story. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are in therapy to help work through this. It's a crime. The people here are very supportive and I'm glad you found us.
Nov 21 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
Chloe
Chloe's picture

Narcissist or Anti-social behavior?

This guy seems like he has other issues than being just a narcissist (that's bad enough). Typically, narcissists are not physically violent. Sociopaths (anti-social behavior) are and can also be narcissistic. I am just curious. This guy sounds like he may escalate someday to the point of very serious injuries. I worry about his children or the next person in his life.