The GF sent me an email Part 2

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#1 Mar 29 - 3PM

sara-smile

The GF sent me an email Part 2

My God what a day it has been. First of all thank you all so very much for your support. I got messages through out the day and it kept me from completely breaking down and losing it. Thank you so much! I can't even describe the place I'm in now. It's a very dark and depressed state of mind on top of rage like I've never felt in my life. Scary rage. Falling to pieces is putting it lightly. I answered her but I didn't answer her questions. I told her that I wanted no part of what was going on but she needed to follow her gut! (thanks idealk I couldn't come up with a thing!) She emailed me back in fantasy land like I had told her that he was faithful and the most amazing man she would ever meet! And I thought I was delusional! She gave me details about how wonderful their life is and how they are planning on getting married. Detail after detail of their happy lives. I broke NC (and I was doing SO GOOD) and sent him a text message and told him to get his GF off my ass! He called and told me to ignore her and that he doesn't want me to have to deal with any of this because he knows the stress is not good for my Crohn's!!! He said that is why I haven't heard from him in 11 days because he's looking out for MY WELL BEING! BULLSHIT!!!!!!! He is scrambling and lying to keep me from talking to her. He's using my disease to make himself look like the good guy! It's just sickening.

I'm sure everybody knows where my head is now. Maybe he really is happy with her. She babysits his kids all the time and she's available at his every beck and call and I never could be. Maybe he is going to try to be decent to her? Maybe he really does love her but still wants the excitement of sex with me? It's been ELEVEN days since he told me he loved me and ELEVEN days since he asked me for sex! It's been 3 freaking weeks since he asked me to go look at engagement rings! He was doing the same thing with her. She showed me today how big of a liar he actually is. Everything he told me about her and their relationship was a lie! DUH! It's not even that I really believed it when he said it BUT why would somebody do that??? WHY!!!!!!!! Cause he's sick and he's a Narc and blah blah blah!

Now I'm physically sick from the drama of the day and they are at his house celebrating his daughters birthday as a FAMILY. I was there last year celebrating and he made me leave because his ex-wife pitched a fit because I was there. How in the world did I get here???

I think maybe I shouldn't have answered her but the clarity she gave me about him was something I needed. It's too painful to deal with though. I'll be sick for days from this. He's setting up house and celebrating with his new family and I'm at home sick. It always seems like they come out on top. Always.

Thank you again for all of the support today. I don't know what I would do without all of you. It's gonna take me forever to dig myself back out of this. I was doing so good and now I'm in a very deep depression.

#2 Mar 30 - 8AM

neverlookback

HE MAKES HER HAPPY?

They are a real piece of work arent they? As mine was promising me a life with him he was building a 1/2 million dollar home and having his GF of 8 years move in with him, as I was sitting home crying missing him he was on some vacation with her, telling me I dont really want to go but it was planned out a year ago, ya what a crock of shit. But I KNOW it was NOT because she is the love of his life, he just gives her the minimum of what she wants so she stays around as his front and that part of his life is very vital to him. Sara I ask you just HOW much can this woman make him truly happy if just 11 days before he wanted to be with you in the sack. When a man truly loves his woman he is NOT interested in other women in ANY WAY, he only wants to have sex with the woman he loves, and I still BELIEVE with all my heart there are men out there that are moral, decent, faithful but since these men form no REAL attachment to who they are with sex with them means nothing and sex with their other women mean NOTHING. Come on what does she give he that you couldnt have given him>? I could have given that piece of shit every bit as much as his GF gives him and maybe even MORE, I am just as attractive if not MORE, I am also fun to be with, and have every bit of the qualities she has. ITS NOT ABOUT THAT Sara, they have a sick need for that fix and high they get from cheating, and having others validate them because they have NOTHING inside - Why they choose one over the other does not really come down to who is prettier, better, hell they have to have someone who will be a warm body so they are not alone, and once and awhile they may even feel like screwing her, ha ha ha Ya she is special Sara she is just so special in his heart that he asks TWO women in TWO weeks to pick out engagement rings, ha ha ha He is a piece of garbage and a rotten rotten human being. They are fundamentally FUCKED UP, so let them fuck up someone else's life I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

#3 Mar 29 - 9PM

beamoflight

"I'm sure everybody knows

"I'm sure everybody knows where my head is now. Maybe he really is happy with her. She babysits his kids all the time and she's available at his every beck and call and I never could be. Maybe he is going to try to be decent to her?" **I think this same thing every day. "Maybe he really does love her but still wants the excitement of sex with me?" **This too. I know this does not help you much-- but thank you. I need to know every now and again I'm not the only one. That rings so true for me when I read something-- that is EXACTLY what I am thinking. ((BIG HUGS))

#4 Mar 29 - 9PM (Reply to #40)

sara-smile

beamoflight

I'm so sorry you feel the same way. It's torture!! Pure torture! Read Michele115's response to my post. It's very eye opening and funny as hell! It's so hard to grasp they are not capable of love because we saw a side of them that we THOUGHT was love and so we know they new GF is getting that side and it's painful. I also have to believe that she will see the other side soon. He's will never change. They are predictable and pathetic. Good luck and hang in there! HUGS TO YOU!

#5 Mar 29 - 6PM

sara-smile

It's so painful - I want to email him

The longer I sit here the more upset, angry and depressed I get. Thank you all for making me laugh. I needed that but I'm not laughing now and I'm hurting. I want to email him and scream and cuss and look like a lunatic! I want to rage and cuss and stomp and throw stuff. I want to email her back and tell her she's a selfish BITCH and that she is as heartless as he is and I hope she gets everything that he dished out to me. I'm so damn tired of being nice. I'm tired of playing nice. I understand playing with a psycho is a lose-lose situation but I'm tired of all of this!!!!!!! Where is the relief! Where is Karma for HIM! When does he suffer? He's got a maid, babysitter and sex partner and I have a bimbo telling me how wonderful her life is with him and HIM tormenting the PISS OUT OF ME!!!!!! Arrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

#6 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #34)

gettinbetter

Do Not any contact with him

Do Not have any contact with him is an opportunity to hurt you. Look at what happened to me. He just wanted to fuck me over one last time

#7 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #35)

sara-smile

SOI

Every time I talk to him he takes the opportunity to hurt me so WHY do I still talk to him. I'm not going to talk to him or email him. I will come out of this with some kind of dignity in tack.

#8 Mar 30 - 8AM (Reply to #38)

Arwen

Why do you still talk to him...here's the answer

You still talk to and want to talk to him because you ARE a NORMAL, LOVING, RATIONAL PERSON WITH ACTUAL FEELINGS. He is NOT. We all assume that these people are feeling and reasonable people. Their deep, deep-seated anxiety over being left and abandoned coupled with tremendous core insecurity causes them to constantly seek out new partners, most notably, while they are still in the midst of another partnership. You must know that he will do this to her as well and this has NOTHING to do with you. THEY ONLY SEEK OUT THE BRIGHTEST AND BEST TO HURT THE MOST. Remember that: you are the BRIGHTEST AND BEST, and those wonderful traits of yours will lead you to a wonderful man trust me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#9 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #36)

gettinbetter

And less damaged. They only

And less damaged. They only know how to destroy destroy destroy. The Narcs whole life is so ironic you wouldnt believe it but heres one: He's a developer/builder.

#10 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #37)

michele115 (not verified)

Sickofit...

That being the case, maybe given how they love to cut corners you should get into the insurance biz...you can sell it to all his future occupants as surely in a few years you may begin to hear of scandals with buildings just collapsing rather mysteriously...LMAO!

#11 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #26)

michele115 (not verified)

The Karma is...

In time you will heal and have peace...he NEVER will! Never, he will destroy others and never feel at rest. His existence is a hell on earth... He only feels good in the beginning when the supply is fresh...it is a tortured existence... Then he will grow old and whatever works for him now won't and there will be no one around he won't feel love...he won't feel...that is misery... You can tell me to kiss off I know that this result isn't immediate... BUT trust me... Although I do know one story...allegedly he was poisioned but it was a rumor - somehow however, I do believe there was some truth and knowing what I know...yea, he ran into the wrong one... Hugs....

#12 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #27)

sara-smile

Michele

I know you are right and one day I WILL have peace and he'll still be drunk whore with crooked teeth! He'll still be an abuser and probably alone. I just want to be STRONG. I want to be the person who can get through the day without being mentally exhausted from trying to survive. I want to be able to dodge anything they throw at me without panic setting in. Does that make sense? I don't want my days to revolve around revenge and hate anymore. Someone poisoned their Narc? LOL Good for them! Tonight might not be such a good night to give me any ideas! Haaaaaaaa! I'm KIDDING! He's not worth the jail time.

#13 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #31)

michele115 (not verified)

Well, I'll give you a little fodder...

The poisioned narc...MIND YOU these are EXES of someone close to me... NOT ME... Narc 1. Oh what a womanizer, abuser he was...Jesus, everyone knew...no secret at all...but some Pollyanna just felt suicidal that day I guess and jumped right in...got burned within six months...Narc continued his galavanting...one day conned his sister somehow to take over his apartment while he took off to another country to I guess score some more "exotic" supply...hahaha...well, he comes back six months later...OH I forgot, while he got his sister to give up her apartment and move into his, he settled a deal with the landlord to buy him out of the apartment...it was a low rent deal...happened a lot in the early 80's where i'm at...now there is NO low rent so not as prevalant. BUT I digress...she was rendered homeless...he came back for a visit...well actually I think he was running for his life as someone I guess reacted to his narc tactics and clobbered him one over the head with a crobar...he came back with a steel plate and a few screws... Jacked up for sure, brain damage and slurred speech but his looks weren't affected and I'm sure this made is victim status soar and you know...women, fixers, etc...he found himself a "live" one...who I guess got hep at a certain point and next we knew...the obituary was printed. A sad story but a very clear indication of what happens when you keep on thinking you can one up or con someone. Next story... A D&D like no other...left this same victim very much an empty shell and traumatized and back then no one really knew about this abuse so this particular victim was walking around trauma bonded and in shell shock for twenty years. Eventually came to terms cause time just makes things heal but it was never resolved the wound right beneath the surface...in fact this victim NEVER dated again. Unfortunate as had there been more awareness perhaps therapy years of it would have helped...well, twenty years later a hoover...ha ha ha...he's in a senior citizens development unhappy with the neighborhood and his life...figured he's gonna recycle supply. TWENTY YEARS LATER!!! Luckily for them - unlucky for me...I had recently been burned and could articulate and identify all of it...prior to that it was a mystery to me too...like all of us...ANYHOOO...she deflected the hoover but before she did, she had some CD...and gave him an ear...and of course he's working in how he wants to move to Florida...this victim has an apartment in Florida she visits and might retire to...um hmmmm and he knew this...umm hmmmmm AND I told the victim...hey, be careful...because what you have in your mind is not the reality and he's probably coming back cause there is no supply in sight...he's probably old, missing teeth, bald...and uh...I could have a psychic website cause sure enough...he's 300 pounds!!! Still has his hair and such...but living in a box...SO like I said...yes it does happen but when it does you are so far removed...it has no bearing on you and that is the blessing because being empathetic...the last thing we need is to be sucked in again, and that is why it probably works out that way...there is some method to the universe...haven't figured it all out yet...I'll follow up next week and let you know if I'm any closer. Hugs!

#14 Mar 29 - 8PM (Reply to #32)

sara-smile

Michele

OMG! TWENTY YEARS! No no no no! I feel like he'll always come back to me for supply! I was such a good source most of the time! The first story is what I picture in my mind for my Narc. He's screwed with so many lives that one day some woman is going to snap and they are going to find body parts and crooked teeth scattered all over the state!! You can't continue to treat people like SH*t and expect to get away with it forever!! His day is coming and I hope I'm on the front row watching when it happens!

#15 Mar 29 - 8PM (Reply to #33)

michele115 (not verified)

The significance of the twenty year story

demonstrates what can happen if you don't do the work. This particular victim did not know any better, did not have info or support. This is where YOU, I and every member here comes out ahead.

#16 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #28)

Steph

you may feel mentally

you may feel mentally exhausted....but you are STRONG, already. I mean you are here talking about shit and getting it off your chest instead of sitting in a corner and wallowing in self pity. That shows strength. Give yourself some credit! You are stronger than you think you are. It's obvious from this end of cyberspace, anyway.

#17 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #29)

sara-smile

staying strong

I appreciate you saying that. I really do. Part of my brain knows I am strong or I would have given up a long long time ago. Everyday is a struggle to block him from my mind or not to go and find him and beat the hell out of him. (I'm feeling especially violent tonight) Thanks again. I need to hear that tonight.

#18 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #30)

Steph

You won't "block" him from

You won't "block" him from your mind. So don't expect that of yourself. They linger there for awhile, unfortuneately:( So the strength is NOT defined from how much or little you think of him....it's what you do with the thoughts....and you are here with your thoughts, that's the stronger thing to do....the weaker would be to contact him and tell HIM your thoughts. All u can do is accept he is still in your thoughts for now and ride it out and vent, just like you have been doing. The ability to still have laughter during a time of feeling like ass....is huge. You are on the right track. I hope u have a wonderful sleep tonight and wake up feeling at least a little bit better:) xoxo

#19 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #21)

Steph

She has NOTHING. she has

She has NOTHING. she has him...oooh lucky her. And what she "tells" you does not mean it is the truth. As for him, he has a babysitter and sex and blah blah ....but he has NO heart so what good is his life, really. And from what I read on another post he has crooked teeth, so he clearly does NOT have a good dentist. What good is anyone without a great dentist anyway?

#20 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #22)

sara-smile

staying strong

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! OMG! I've got the giggles now! I need to post that on my desk! What good is anyone without a great dentist anyway? LOL LOL

#21 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #23)

Steph

lol My ex had straight

lol My ex had straight teeth...but kinda big, like a beaver. and his eyes were kinda close together too. Fuck! I went to therapy over a cross-eyed beaver! haha

#22 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #24)

sara-smile

Cross-eyed beaver!

That is hilarious! We are talking about relationships with lying, cheating, heartless, sick, f-ed up, cross eyed, idiots with big teeth and one in bad need of an orthodontist!! Doesn't say much for us does it!?? LMAO!!!!

#23 Mar 29 - 7PM (Reply to #25)

Steph

lol!

it says we have really big hearts and like to give to charity. hahaha now I have the giggles too!

#24 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #18)

gettinbetter

He suffers everyday. How

He suffers everyday. How would you like to always feel On and on empty. Wondering what others have that you dont. So you keep taking taking and taking hoping you'll find the magic combination but you never do. Seeing that you hurt others over and over and you dont know why.

#25 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #19)

sara-smile

SOI

Do you really think they actually see that they hurt others?? Sometimes I wonder if it even enters their sick freaking brains if they realize what they are doing? Some people think they do this crap on purpose but I can't imagine my stupid Narc is smart enough to think any of this crap up! How are you holding up? You seem to be doing OK???

#26 Mar 29 - 8PM (Reply to #20)

gettinbetter

I think they know they dont

I think they know they dont have the joy that others have thats why they keep looking for it and they never find it they just keep consuming and consuming. Im doing ok remarkably. Im sure I have some dark days coming but in away I feel like I have some closure if thats what you call it. It is over. It is over forever. I have a wonderful husband and daughter who have been somewhat neglected this past year. So I have some making up to do but we are still together and I am so thankful for that. If I can just get thru the next few weeks. I am worried about him setting the stage for some triangulation not so much for me but for her to destabilize her. I mean how great is it to hold your x girl friend that has known you since age 17 over her head and I dont even have to be physically present.

#27 Mar 29 - 5PM

Hunter

Sara

He's a fucking idiot, maybe she has the cash he needs to get his teeth fixed! He is using her for something, sit back relax and thank God you see the real loser he is! Look at it this way, she's Fucked! The day will come when you can say I Told you so! Personally I love to say that! Can I sing back up on that day? Idealk

#28 Mar 29 - 5PM (Reply to #6)

sara-smile

idealk

Baaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! He needs his freaking crooked ass teeth fixed! Idiot! He's using her for babysitting, housekeeping and sex services! It's everything he ever wanted! He wants a servant not a GF! I hope you are singing backup so loud they hear you in the next state! I hate him! I'm so tempted to write him another email and tell him AGAIN what a worthless piece of shit he is! Hell I already broke NC with him today so why not go out with a bang! I know it won't do any good! He's sick sick twisted warped psycho!

#29 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #7)

michele115 (not verified)

SARA!

Poker face my lady...keep them guessing it will drive BOTH of them crazy. Oh, I don't know if that's possible...hmmm what would that do to them...crazy is a state of being...you can't be half crazy you are or you arent...hmmm...let's see...it will make them...MELT! Yes, that's it...they will melt...picture that visual...Poof! Gone!...DISMISS! You reply, he'll use it to fuel her...this is perfect triangulation... STARVE IT... Hugs

#30 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #8)

sara-smile

Michele

I know you are right. I would like to have an OUNCE of dignity left after all of this craziness is over! I already look as crazy as they are! :) I'm not going to do anything else. POKER FACE! Besides....what good would it do? It would be like talking to a freaking wall! Just more supply for the idiot. No more. Today was it because I can't handle anymore insanity. If I don't separate myself from their lives I'm NEVER going to heal. EVER. I wish there was a delete button for the brain. One push of the button and he is GONE from my head.

#31 Mar 29 - 6PM (Reply to #9)

michele115 (not verified)

Sara,

Let it out...we're all eyes here...you have a following...LOL a fan base...we're right there with you! Heck...I think at one point and if you do a google search OMG...it's posted in cyberspace...I think my words were: I'd love to run him over, switch to reverse and do it again... And you know what...I meant it! HUgs

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