Do they really get away with it and are we just kidding ourselves?

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#1 Aug 3 - 7PM

Sunafterrain

Do they really get away with it and are we just kidding ourselves?

I have been contemplating this all day. There are other forums I read as well, and it feels overwhelming to me during this process.......the same theme seems to resonate......he gets away with it, whether it's an ex wife that shares joint custody and he's disneyland dad (as is the case with mine, his ex STILL buys his bullshit!), or they run off with someone else, leaving a trail of broken hearts and tears behind them, whether these women had babies with them or not, main source or OW, whatever the circumstances......he walks away. He gets away with it. It is rare when I see that he does not.

As Sandra Brown says, "They are sicker than we are smart".

I'm sorry, but right now, this feel so discouraging to me. I want him to pay. I'm angry. I want him to have karma. It seems the psychopaths that are more obvious are found out then those like my last who hide behind money and image are not.

It's all I can do to hang on with this thought in mind and it's very triggering when story after story is how he got away with it.

It's very, VERY depressing and something I have to work on in my healing. Does anyone ever see justice? Maybe a post about those stories would be inspiring!

#2 Aug 4 - 12PM

prettypeeved

I'm with Hunter. I understand

I'm with Hunter. I understand how you feel, because I keep coming back to this. I find it hard to let go of the anger because I want him to either feel sorry that he caused these problems, of if I can't have that I'll settle for making him feel sorry for himself, as in sorry he ever messed with me. At least that's what I'd like. I know in reality it will just give him supply, and I know it will just consume me, so I let go...but every so often the feeling comes back, just a little. But as Hunter says, are their lives really so special? I watched my narc go off with someone else after he tried to tear me away from my partner. It gave me a nice "trial run" view of what would have happened if I'd have gone off with him - I saw him treat his new partner's ex like dirt, I saw him play mind games with his new partner, I saw him get dumped repeatedly and then hoover his new partner back in, and finally I saw his new partner wake up and ditch the narc, at which point I saw the narc start hoovering and stalking, and pathetically coming back to sniff around me. And after he'd done that I gave him a second chance, thinking that just maybe I was wrong about him, and the first thing he did was turn back to his old tricks, confirming what I already knew - he's a user, a psychopath, and a foul excuse for a human being. After I went NC he couldn't stop trying to contact me online. In the meantime he's gone precisely NOWHERE. No-one wants him because he drives people away. As much as I may want him to suffer, do I really need to wish for it? We're talking about a sad excuse for a man who lies about himself because no-one in their right mind would bother with him if they knew what he really was. A misfit. A joke. Pond scum. He even, at the age of 40-odd (I refuse to believe he's in his 30s), still lives with his mother. And his favourite hobby is latching onto people much better than himself so that he can try and get control over them and stalk them. Is he really "getting away with it"? Because I don't see anything to envy there.

#3 Aug 4 - 1PM (Reply to #33)

Susan32

There is NOTHING to envy

When you really think about it, there is NOTHING to envy, even if the N is involved is a celebrity¶des their accomplishments on Facebook. The ex-Psych prof is still married after a decade&has kids... but after callously&publicly rejecting me. Is that really happiness? Does he really have a happy family life with his parents raising his kids for him (he doesn't even acknowledge them)? He got tenure at a place where his colleagues steer clear of him. In the beginning, the ex-P spoke of how he had "cut people loose" and "drove people away." Academically&philosophically, he hasn't accomplished anything in the space of a decade. I'm not envious of the live-in girlfriend who had his kids&married him. I'm GRATEFUL I didn't marry him a decade ago. Besides, New Mexico has become literally toxic. Those Wallow&Las Conchas fires would've done a number on my lungs&I'm asthmatic. I would've experienced emotional asphyxiation with the ex-P... and the physical kind because of those massive wildfires.

#4 Aug 4 - 1PM (Reply to #32)

SoaperGirl

What I envision now

Sometimes, I'll envision taking a hammer to his freaking head, and pounding on his noggin until he's a bloody pulp, or I'll envision a gang of thugs muggin him, beating him to a bloody pulp. It sort of makes me feel good for a minute or so. It releases some residual anger and rage. (I don't have that much anymore!) It's a moment of harmless fantasing, and I know it would never happen! It doesn't need to either. Then, I'll sigh, turn over on my side muttering, "Aw, who cares? It doesn't matter what happens to him. Let it go. I just wanna forget him and move on. He can go to blazes. He's not worth even thinking about. No matter at all!" That's the end of it.

#5 Aug 4 - 12PM (Reply to #31)

Hunter

Rock on PP! You have been a

Rock on PP! You have been a strong force of healing for me and others! You stood the course and I see how far you have come!!! I know it hadn't been easy but " pond scum" they all are! Hunter

#6 Aug 4 - 11AM

blindfaith

"do they really get away with it'

God offers his mercy to everyone,incuding them (through the cross). But if their hearts are too dark to exept it, then yes they will face justice when they take their last breath. And it will be horrible. I wouldnt want to face true justice myself because im far from perfect so i choose to come under mercy. I know the narcs are very hurtful though...they've caused us alot of pain.Its sad that a human would get to that point where they are an empty shell and have no remorse about hurting others. I hope my ex will be okay someday,but the thing is--alot of them might have passed the point of no return. I would be very scared to be in their shoes.Theres no worse position to be in than having a heart thats too hard and prideful to turn to God. I understand your anger.I still struggle with it. I hope for all of us that we're able to heal from all our pain. Its a hard road,but i think making it through something like this gives us more character.

#7 Aug 4 - 10AM

Hunter

Anger is part of the healing

Anger is part of the healing process! It does seem like they come out on top! Do they really?? Look at their lives, really look, they are empty! It's like a fine house with beautiful window treatments! From the curb, WOW! What a beauty, you walk through the front door and inside it's empty! A law chair instead of a couch! You can't live on the outside of that beautiful house and who would want to sit on the floor inside! A well decorated house with family and friends, I'll take that over window treatments any day. Hunter

#8 Aug 4 - 9AM

SoaperGirl

It's a Wonderful Life - I think?

This morning here I was emptying the trash and garbage cans, fixing myself breakfast, house cleaning...all the menial, mundane things that make up my existence..mentally planning my monthly budget, thinking about tending to my gardens, doing laundry, thinking about applying for more jobs, planning my future... ..and mentaly, I'm screaming to myself - "The narc was right! I have no life! Why? Because I have no man and certainly no narc! My life sucks because the narc isn't in it to cause chaos, my life is boring?" Yet when I think about things deeper, I realize it's very ordinarness is something many people wouldn't mind. It is filled with many blessings! It's a wonderful life! I enjoy good health. I have very little to worry about. My grown children and grandchildren are doing well, healthy and strong. I have a good, decent home..most of my bills are paid, and it's likely I'll find a way to take care of them all. I'm not being hounded and harassed by anyone, I manage to live in peace and relative prosperity (as long as I don't go on any big spending tangents.) Many would consider that good enough. Yet, why cannot I not be content because I don't have a suitable and appropriate man in it? The narc can go to blazes. I miss the memory of him, but I realize there really wasn't that much there. Mostly it was all smoke and mirrors. An act, an illusion mostly of my own making in my own mind. When will I stop thinking of him and enjoy this wonderful life as it was meant to be enjoyed?

#9 Aug 4 - 10AM (Reply to #26)

Hunter

Soaper

They take our wonderful lives and try to destroy them! They are envious of that wonderful life! What did your daughter say yesterday? Remember it! Hunter

#10 Aug 4 - 11AM (Reply to #27)

SoaperGirl

She said to remember I have a family that loves me even when

I feel lonely. That's robably the biggest blessing of all! All my narc has is one flaky hypocritical sister who lives at the opposite end of the country in an old trailer. Other than his current victim, he is basically all alone in the world. No other family, friends, no children, and that's it! Nothing else! He does have a back up plan of moving into his sister's eventually. That should be fun! She's as self-centered as he is! She may be a narc too! He has very little of value in the world. An aging truck, a debt ridden house he's desperately trying to unload. I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't competely broke by now. When he dies, few people will mourn him. He basically has no future. Here he is 66 years old, looking as old and ugly as they come! Most women I know who have seen his picture can attest to how physically unattractive to the eyes he is. I truly doubt at his age, he'll be able to find many more women willing to take him on. From what he posted on his website about their "romance", it's clear it's all about him, and what SHE CAN DO FOR HIM! He indicated he had no concern or interest whatsoever in any needs, wants or desires she might have. It's all a sham! She's being played big time, and blatantly used I'm sorry to say! He clearly does not love her, and doesn't care about her. I fully expect he's in full abuse cycle now. Eventually, he will D&D her after he gets all her money and anything else of value he can get his hands on and she has nothing left for him to take. Then he will abandon her! Question is, what then? He himself will be be up shit creek! As for me, I picked out my present house as a place for me to grow old in, in comfort, if not style. It is a sweet, sturdy house. I have three grown children who love me deeply, and if I were to become disabled, I know they would see to it that I was well taken care of. My grandkids adore me, and love me deeply as much as I do them! My life does matter to them very much! They are amazing. When I die, I will pass on a house that is strong and well- built (I suspect my father may have built it post WWII after he was mustered out of the army as certain details of the house are like he would done them!), and it is handicapped accessible if needed. I will be buried next to my father, my sister and a brother close by making it easy for my family to visit in a beautiful park surrounded by plenty of trees, grass and flowers. Hopefully, that won't happen for many years, l but that's my plan and I'm sticking to it!

#11 Aug 4 - 6AM

Cgrl

he does pay

the more you think about him - the more he takes away your power and that includes "him getting his day". He gets his day and he pays everyday - look, I mean really really look at his life. He cant love. He goes from one relationship to the next with not even a breath - he cant stop spinning in his own world. Nothing ever works out for him. He cant find or hold a job (my narc) he has no money. He has nothing that he can actually call his own - so I ask you - isnt this Karma? If we spend our days wishing and hoping something happens to them and we are knee deep in our anger then where does that put us? It puts us right next to them - not finding love, not being able to function like we know we can, missing out on great opportunities right in front of us and most importantly - giving him YOUR power. These thoughts- we all have them but really - his karma was LOSING the best thing that ever happened to him - YOU. YOU just dont see it.

#12 Aug 4 - 5AM

Lobo555

Would you want to be in his head?

Believe me, I hate the fact that CharlieSheenWinning scooped up new supply the *day after* I finally broke things off with him. I hate the fact that he *married* her 3 weeks later. I hate the fact that he parades around town with her, looking smug and content. I hate the fact that he professes his undying love for her (and he just barely met her when they got hitched) all over FB like a 16 year old. It hurts, it sucks, and I sit at home watching Shark Week on Animal Planet. Well. . . not really. That's what I could be doing. Instead, I've been keeping busy with friends, writing, seeing family, etc. All the while I'm hurting I'm also reminding myself that CharlieSheenWinning is also a moody prick and nobody is going to change that. Deep down (or maybe not so deep down because everyone sees it), he's the most self-loathing, miserable, paranoid mess I've ever met. Sure, he can put on the mask and be an outgoing life of the party sometimes. But really? I wouldn't want to be in his headspace for the world. Nor would I want to be married to that. They look happy, but they aren't. I think that's where karma or whatever comes in. It's all surface. Smoke and mirrors. It's like they're passing off Spam as filet mignon. Don't believe the hype.

#13 Aug 4 - 5AM (Reply to #23)

Used

lobo555

SO TRUE...I WAS OUT WITH NARC ONE DAY...AND HAVING A REALY BAD DAY[I KNOW NOW IT WAS B/C I WAS WITH HIM], BUT I SAID TO HIM I WOULD WANT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE DAY...BUT NEVER YOU, I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN BE YOU EVEN FOR A NANOSECOND...YES IT WAS A TRULY LOVING SWEET FRIENDSHIP WE HAD[AS THE HONEYMOON PERIOD WAS OVER]....THAT SAID I MENT IT WITH ALL MY HEART...HE LIVES A TOTALLY POINTLESS LIFE..WHERE HE AWAKES ,AND HIS FIRST THOUGHT IS, WHO CAN I GET TO SPEND THE DAY WITH ?...I CANT ASK....A.B.C.D.E.F.G.H.I.J.K.L.M.N.O.P.Q.R.S.T.U.V.W.X.Y.Z. AS I HAVE PISSED THEM ALL OF....OFF TO THE CARD SHOP TO BUY A LOAD OF APOLOGY CARDS....HE DONE THIS ALL THE TIME...WE ALL GOT SORRY CARDS ...EVEN RESTARAUNTS....COFFEE HOUSES...CLUBS AND SHOPS....THIS IS TRUE STORY...LOBO....SOMETIMES HE WOULD BE FRANTIC LOOKING FOR PEOPLE TO GIVE THEM THE CARDS.....I DON'T ENVY HIS LIFE...HIS WOMEN OR HIS OUTLOOK...NO WONDER HE WAS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT SUICIDE, BUT SAID HE WAS TO MUCH OF A COWARD TO DO IT...HE ASKED ME ONCE IF I WOULD DO A SUICIDE PACT WITH HIM...HE COULDNT EVEN DO THAT ALONE...

#14 Aug 3 - 11PM

grace67

Ohhhh.. I So could have

Ohhhh.. I So could have written this same post! I've wondered the same thing myself. I think it's only natural to want them to have a taste of what they've done to us. One thing that truly helps me is thinking less in terms of "karma" and more along the lines of "sacred contract". I believe that we contract with other souls before we come into life. That we agree of what lessons we need to learn, things we want to experience. It's Impossible for me to believe that we are all just part of some cosmic crapshoot. That just doesn't make sense to me. (just my personal beliefs, after a Lot of soul searching, meditation, and by golly Demanding answers for the "whys" of things over the years) And yet... I Still find myself hoping that I get to watch that karma work out...

#15 Aug 3 - 10PM

Jean

Sunafterrain, in a small way

I got a bit of satisfaction when my boss retired and called the Narc a narcissist to his face, publicly, and said he hoped he never saw him again. The Narc (a psychologist) blushed and acted like he didn't know what my boss was saying. Because I work with the Narc, I have witnessed his tantrums and his being shown he is wrong (he always takes any conflict to the highest level he can). None of the other psychologists at work (except one, not sure what his deal is) like him, and at least one I've spoken with agrees with me that he has NPD. He is alone, and will stay that way till the end. He has a serious medical condition and would be much better off with a companion. As far as I can tell, he spends a lot of time living in fear and has a definite pattern of flirting with, then discarding, women at work. They are almost always married, or else otherwise unavailable. I never thought I would say this (or feel this way) but I am now aware of how fortunate I am to be able to feel, empathize, provide honest feedback, and be in a good marriage to a wonderful person. When I look back in my life, I am very certain that being married to a real person, developing empathy and learning to have compassion for others far outweighs everything that came before. It took me a long time, and a lot of work, to learn to really feel and to drop my suspicions of others. I had some similarities to the Narc, thinking I was smarter than everyone else and no one really appreciated me. And he will never feel compassion or love, because he's too afraid to look below the surface, or into his own heart. From the outside, it looks like he just skates along screwing over other people and giggling about it, but I've looked underneath and he is a deeply lonely person, prone to rage, and ever so fearful. So, maybe that helps? I totally get how you feel, I wanted to punish him for a long time. Now I see him and I really do just feel pity.

#16 Aug 3 - 10PM

Sunafterrain

Ladies

You are special people. thank you for your encouragement. Not just for me, but for so many others here on this healing journey :)

#17 Aug 3 - 9PM

strivingforhealing (not verified)

Karma is not a straight path..be patient..it sneaks up on you

Life never gives us what we want, when we want it...but if you watch closely- miraculous timing is taking place...Divine timing that is....I see this again and again.. we are in so so much pain and we want revenge, a good life, a new love, all of it,now....but Life is not that neat and tidy...it has it's own beautiful plan unfolding and the timing is subtle and often unexpected. the best thing you can do is Live your life fully...Get back your precious Self...NC all the way...and Life will reveal its blesssings in quiet but deeply profound ways... God is here working for us..not in our time...but in the blessed time of Mystery..

#18 Aug 4 - 5AM (Reply to #16)

badjer

This is a beautiful post. I

This is a beautiful post. I have often wondered about karma and whether he will get his, and this reinforces my belief that things will be as they are intended to be at any given point in life. I very much believe that you get out what you put in. My balm is in knowing that he didn't get what he wanted at the end - me adoring and worshipping him - because he didn't put enough in TO get it. He got out what he put in - distance, coldness, me pulling away from him. His personality caused that in me and if he is nasty to others, again he will get out what little he puts in. I do not believe his hype. I know he is a lonely, messed up man who drowns himself in exercise and alcohol. I know he doesn't like himself and while he convinces himself he is a stud (and he is handsome) he knows deep down no woman worth her salt will take his shit. And his low self-esteem will make sure of that. Because what you see is who they really are. Cold, hard brutal and unkind is what they are in part and it finds its outlet. We have all been attracted to damaged people and I would bet that the majority of us on this site have damaged childhoods - hence why we are attracted to the familiar, the hard, the uncompromising, the cold, the damaging. It is what we know. They do get their just desserts. Mine lost his wife because he was hard and cold and hurtful. He lost me because he broke my trust. He has lost 2 women whom he loved, differently and for different reasons, but there is a pattern there. he pushes people away. As he said at the very beginning, 'I hurt people. It's what I do.' They go through life thinking 'if I find this person, it will be perfect. If I do that, it will be perfect.' Always striving for the unattainable and never finding it because true contentment lies within. xxx

#19 Aug 4 - 9AM (Reply to #18)

bakingfortherapy

once again Badger...

WOW Badger...Once again..sounds just like mine: "I know he is a lonely, messed up man who drowns himself in exercise and alcohol. I know he doesn't like himself and while he convinces himself he is a stud (and he is handsome) he knows deep down no woman worth her salt will take his shit." I truly do believe mine will end up a lonely hollow old man. This actually makes me sad because he is missing out on all of life's "real" stuff.

#20 Aug 4 - 5AM (Reply to #17)

Used

badgerbruno

VERY TOUCHING AND SO TRUE...WITHIN WEEKS OF MEETING NARC...HE SAID I DISAPPEAR..I THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING...HE SAID I HURT PEOPLE AND THEY GIVE UP ON ME...I CAN'T MAKE ANYTHING WORK...I DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY...ALL THIS SO SOON...AND LITTLE ME ON MY LITTLE WHITE CHARGER THOUGHT, IT WILL BE DIFFRENT WITH ME ,ITS A FRIENDSHIP...SO IT WILL BE DIFFRENT....IT WASENT AND NEVER WILL BE. HE IS WHAT HE IS...AND IN THE END HE WASENT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO ME TO KEEP TRYING WITH HIM....HIS LOSS....AND MINE.

#21 Aug 3 - 10PM (Reply to #15)

Sunafterrain

Striving

your words are salve to my very aching soul. I'm so angry. Thank God for a new therapist tomorrow. I hope the EMDR works. I'm so angry.........I'm NC, have been for eight months, exception, his attempts to hoover before he married NW. Blessings.

#22 Aug 3 - 9PM

Sparrow

There is justice. It's there

There is justice. It's there every day and always will be............you see him for what he truly is, he doesn't. You already know that he is a crippled, diseased human being who is going to die a very lonely, unhappy man. He doesn't...........this puts you waaaaaaay ahead of the game. Kind of like having a crystal ball! Forget him, move on. He isn't worth the time of day.

#23 Aug 3 - 8PM

Smarter-thanthis

I need to hear a good karma

I need to hear a good karma story too. I am so depressed now, it's bad. HE IS HAPPY.......he is flaunting his new girl all over town. I am in therapy, and although I am so grateful for all of you and this forum.........it's not fair.

#24 Aug 3 - 9PM (Reply to #12)

Sunafterrain

Smarter

I wonder if this isn't th4e biggest challenge in getting past the experience. It challenges everything for me. Including my faith. All of it. I know life isn't "fair".. I get that. But when someone sinks his/her claws so deep into your psyche, and attempts to rob it...... This is more than "life isn't fair" as far as I'm concerned. Karma? Not for these people. This is the hardest part of recovery, while they are happy with their lives, new supplies, duping everyone left and right, life goes on for them flawlessly while they destroyed others. I have a hard time with that. I really really do...

#25 Aug 3 - 7PM

Susan32

There IS sun after rain!

After the final D&D with the ex-Psych prof, karma came and it hit hard a decade ago. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't an agent of karma, albeit in ways unknown to myself. -Around the time I went NC&skipped town, the ex-P got his girlfriend pregnant. With twins. He found pregnancy&children disgusting. He HATED children. -He got married to the girlfriend after she gave birth. He had always disdained marriage, seeing it as slavery&bondage. My friends assumed he was a confirmed bachelor, that he'd die alone&never marry. -His parents moved in with him. The ex-P thought he could get away with things as long as his parents were in New England... THAT certainly changed. No more off-campus classes centered on drinking wine. (My classmates assumed he came to class intoxicated most of the time) -His father put him on a causality forum. Causality is a fancy philosophical term for consequences. Hey, that's something *I* would've done. I'd always tell the ex-P he couldn't run away from the consequences, and his Daddy helped. -My college alumni magazine keeps strict NC. You'd think the ex-P was a figment of my imagination, since he hasn't been mentioned in it for the past ELEVEN YEARS. They are strong where I've been weak, I admit.

#26 Aug 3 - 8PM (Reply to #2)

Sunafterrain

Susan

But how were you the "karmatic agent"? I'm seeing where ex had his hook in. It was in a very deep place. realizing this, I'm so pissed. And yet there is no karma. In fact, while with him, I helped him avoid it. Thanks for sharing your story.

#27 Aug 4 - 5AM (Reply to #8)

badjer

Yes, they are strong where we

Yes, they are strong where we showed weakness. I am trying to work out where my ex's hooks were. I think because he never quite offered me unconditional love - very like my father and mother. I think that was it. That and the fact that for the first time in my life, I chased somebody and the sex was fantastic. To coin that phrase, he had me at "hello". I don't get why and how he got his hooks in. Good sex? Can't have been, I've had that before and not been hooked myself. It must have been something deeper. Good sex can get boring. It was more profound than that. It was like I just could never quite…..have or get him….it was like trying to catch a cloud. I have never in my life known that before. He was never truly mine, although he always convinced me he was. It stings like hell on earth. I am just hoping that if it was just a game for him, somebody will do that to him and if it wasn't, he will regret what he did deep down. Because if it was just one big game to him……he is a very, very twisted man to piss around with somebody's marriage for his own ego gratification. Karma will see to it that he will make choices based on bad emotions and that in and of itself will see to it that life gives him a bloody hard slap.

#28 Aug 4 - 9AM (Reply to #10)

Susan32

Clarifying "strong where we are weak"

In my case, I meant my college. They've been stricter at keeping NC than I am. IMHO, I think TENURE was the ultimate punishment for the ex-Psych prof. He's stuck working with people who remember how he treated me, some of whom hate his guts. My senior thesis advisor called him "different",as if he elaborated anymore he'd be using cuss words. If he had lost his job, he probably would've stalked me, did the victim act, moved on to new hunting grounds... and he is STUCK. Like a fly on flypaper. The ex-P's college is STRONG where I am weak with NC some times. They don't even acknowledge his existence. You'd think I made him up. The college alumni magazine recently did an issue about Wittgenstein;the ex-P idolized Wittgenstein;the ex-P was NOWHERE to be seen in that issue. My college keeps better NC than I do. I'm friends with some of the professors (including the Dean who was really compassionate during the final D&D)... and they NEVER mention him. Not even in passing. They're like friends who steer you away from the bar when you belong to AA.

#29 Aug 4 - 6AM (Reply to #9)

Used

EMOTIONALY UNAVAILABLE

YOU KNOW? I KNOW THAT MY PARENTS[BOTH NARCS] WERE UNOBTAINABLE....I WAS PUT IN CARE AT 4, THEN AT 14 FOSTER HOMES...I SPENT MY LIFE RUNNING AFTER THEM TRYING TO GET THE UNOBTAINABLE....AND I HAVE DONE THAT AGAIN WITH MYEXH AND EXN.....THEY WOULDN EVER EVER HAVE BEEN TRULY MINE....I KNEW IT...MY THERAPIST SAID I PICK EMOTIONALLY UNAVAIBLE PEOPLE BECAUSE I KNOW IT WONT LAST...I DIDNT PARTICULY AGREE WITH HER...BUT I DID SEE WHO I AM....SO FOR THAT I WAS SATISFIED..AND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE....I CHOOSE TO BE ALONE AND AM PROBLY MORE CONTENT AND SETTLED AND *SECURE* THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN...AT THE END OF THE DAY THE ONE PERSON I CAN LOVE AND RELY ON ,IS MY SELF.....ITS BEEN QUITE A BATTLE....BUT I AM THERE.

#30 Aug 3 - 8PM (Reply to #3)

Susan32

My departure paved the way...

For all that followed. If I had stuck around, I would've been part of the triangulation, the drama, I could've ended up as the ex-Psych prof's mistress or wife. He was afraid of being abandoned... despite his disgust with pregnancy&hatred of children, he'd say that women would leave him unless he got them pregnant. Since I believed in saving sex for marriage, he'd say that if he married me, he'd get me pregnant ASAP. So, 9 months after I left New Mexico (I left without saying goodbye, only friends of mine in Colorado&Washington DC knew, as well as my roommate)... the ex-P's girlfriend was giving birth. It's like he sensed my departure. I pulled the vanishing act. He probably thought he could triangulate me with his pregnant girlfriend... and I disappeared without saying goodbye to him and his colleagues. I didn't DIRECTLY cause his girlfriend to get pregnant. I didn't DIRECTLY cause his father to put him on a philosophical forum about cause/effect (tho it would be cool to get the credit) I was the indirect cause by going NC. EVERYTHING is connected, sometimes in ways unseen. Karma takes its time. As Hamlet said "if not now, 'tis yet to come, if it is to come, it is not now, but IT WILL COME." It's gonna happen eventually. Actions have consequences.

#31 Aug 3 - 9PM (Reply to #4)

Sunafterrain

Susan

Ya know what? I hope so. But for the most part, they seem to get away with the pain they cause, the souls they rob... You've got the quintessential in healing if you get to see karma happen to them. It's the ultimate in being able to move on. But most of us will never know that, and what information we do get, no matter how indirect, is to how successful and well they are doing. It sickens me.

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