The 'Crying' Narcissist???

When I told the ex-Psych prof I loved him, he went into full sob mode, saying "I'm discomfited. I'm disappointed. I'm offended." Even when I was sobbing and my feelings were hurt, he was BEGGING for pity&comfort. When I demanded an apology&remorse, all he'd say was "you acted inappropriately." He only "cried" when he realized not only he had lost control of me, but I was having the funnest time ever driving him nuts. He did the "poor pity me" act when I called him out on lying about his girlfriend and how it hurt me. "You put me in an awkward position." When I congratulated him on being engaged, he whined and cried "You're imposing on me. You're violating my personal boundaries. You're being intrusive. My engagement is private." It was ALWAYS pity pity pity for 4 years. He wanted pity because his students didn't listen to him and his colleagues didn't respect him. But when *I* was the one sobbing and hurt, and had lost a friend (during the final D&D), he'd be emotionally brutal and coldly say "I am controlling my feelings" while I wept. In the end, I was giving him some purposeful narcissistic injuries. I knew his vulnerabilities. In exquisite detail. Did I apologize for them? NO. Would I ever do so? NEVER. In fact, in the end, I found his pity party entertaining and I was practically laughing in his face.

The XN cryed his eyes out whenever I confornted him for any offense he commited towards me. He always apologized...but didn't do a thing to make it up to me. This is when I realized that saying "I love you" are just empty words when they are not backed up with support, consideration and respect. If you truly respect someone who you have hurt (were all human), you make it up to him/her! Analize your own behavior. SEE that his tears are empty and cold. His "feeling" are unsubstantiated. This is because they are nonexistent. I know it's hard at first to process this, but when it gets to the point that the confidece you deposited in him is so broken, you can't help but feel anger and disdain because HE does'nt deserve attention for crying, YOU did. And he probably never gave that. I'm sorry, maybe I'm still in anger releasing mode. But for me at least, this helps.

Mine cried a few times in 8 years, but mostly it was after I demanded to see some type of emotion. He was a cold callous ROBOT! So, if we were breaking up, he would start crying some, but then he would just stop immediately. It was the most bizarre thing to witness at the time. But, now I know it was all an ACT. Must have drove him crazy that I wanted him to express emotions, when he clearly had none. Well he did have emotions only for himself. His acting was SO bad, that I think my brain was confused. That he couldnt be for REAL! But be it cops, therapists..co-workers, he ALWAYS has the "poor me" personna. YUCK! Its so very pathetic !!

My NARC/parasite LOVES to cry!!!! He goes to funerals so he can cry. He loves chick flicks so he cry. He cries at church(he gets lots of positive re-enforcement for crying there..they don't know him yet) He cries if he hurts himself.. He LOVES when I cry!! So HE can cry too. I discovered early in the relationship that if I cried at a sentimental commercial or in a moment of honesty ...being ever the opportunist he would melt into "sympathetic" tears and want to hold me and rock me...and cry TOGETHER. BLECH! (Awkward) I never cry in front of him. I don't dare. It becomes melodramatic. A few of years ago I started to cry out of frustration and anger. As I was breaking down I kept thinking,"OH NO! OH NO! This is the moment he's been waiting for! Oh no he's going to run to me and cry and try to hold me..Nooooo!" But it was too late, I saw the realization in his face that I was starting to cry...he RAN to me sobbing...he held me and rocked me. My blood ran cold and I stopped crying instantly...with my face mashed into his chest I just GLARED at the wall in disbelief, he continued his histrionics...the show must go on. So contrived. He cries on cue.

cried but when I would he would look at me like someone would look at at alien and say "oh wow, you always seem so mean but when you cry you are soft, It makes me think you do love me" Then when he went and had sex with his new love he so sweetly told me that "I dont know what it was, but being with her was amazing, i got to feel for the first time in my life, everytime we had sex we would just both bawl like babies, it was so amazing" Omg I am so ready for steps 4-6, just a month ago I had to write on this board and ask if these kinds of things were off.......

The same man that beat me on his boat and told me when I cried I had "self pity"? The SAME MAN that threw my things overboard, kidnapped me then told me "I was not concerned about HIS needs" when I was crying hysterically? The one that told me every time he yelled at me if I got upset about "nothing" (tears make them meaner) he would REALLY give me something to be upset about? Boo hoo Baby Brat. Get a diaper... His words in the novella email about his pain then blamed me for all of it... "I have been crying for hours on a daily basis. I now feel I have a tiny taste of what you must of felt when I demonstrated such lack of respect for you. For whatever it is worth I am so very sorry I caused you the pain I am having now. I beg you to completely and wholly forgive me. I am truly lost without you by my side every night. I am frequently sick to my stomach to the point of vomiting. I am short of breath. My stress level is through the roof." Geese. Get the grown up a kleenex. Waaa Waaa Waaa! Kitty

once during a lovely moment of intimacy. I was asking him about past relationships that he had clearly fucked up etc... It was not a moment of confrontation, it was just a moment of me listening to his recalls of a number of other women that he had screwed up with.... It was at a time when we were so very close and planning to marry etc.... He did not cry but he did well up a bit..... I only cried once in front of him, strangely enough the day I got pregnant by him, became a bit emotional for no reason. I will always remember his reaction... totally blank and vacant....

"Whenever I casually mentioned a behavior of his I found inappropriate, offensive or something that I felt disrespected my boundaries he always managed to behaved as if he had been the aggrieved party rather than acknowledging the offense and correcting the behavior." "Anyone else ever experience this?" YES. I experience this everytime my 14 month old daughter crosses the line and misbehaves. When I tell her no and remove her from the situation, she cries like a banshee. Its no different from a NARC! LOLOLOL!

OOOHHH yes...regular crying...pity party...both my main x narcs...pity party over the dead parents, the lost marriage and family he had, oy vey what a fucking crock. Hell yeah they cry. They can't fix anything while they're in it but they sure as hell know how to cry once they want attention.

I just broke up with my Narcissist for the SECOND time. I never want to see him again, and I'm perfectly fine with having no contact. It's been almost 2 months and I've turned my life around. Unfortunately, he calls me crying....sobbing....begging...telling me I'm his life and he won't live without me. What do I do? This is a man that has cheated on me, has used and abused me for years. I dont know how to get him to stop calling me. I'm afraid he'll call my Mom's house or come to my work (he's done it before!)Frankly, it's a little scary!! What do I do?????

The EXNARc cried only once when i knew him for 15 years when he dog died and sometimes he did not even treat him that well and I would tell him that and once he got real defensive and told me I could leave his place, if I wanted to, real imperious.but when his sweet dog did die on his lap, he was crying like a little child and said to me "everything I love gets taken away." we were talking over the phone as I had just finished working. I asked the therapist about what he had said and the therapist said it sounds like he never got the unconditional love he was desperately seeking IE. from mother.He did not even cry when his brother died and when i picked him up from the airport said"something must be wrong with me." As everyone else near his brothers deathbed was crying like crazy.He Knows who he is..................

Xnh cried on a regular basis. He could turn those tears on and off like a faucet to suit his wishes. He did this to manipulate and try illiciting sympathy. Xnh's hideous P daughter did the same exact thing (go figure where she learned it from. lol). Xnh even tried a big "cry fest" the last time he hoovered me. He was blubbering like a little baby on the phone telling me all about how badly his hideous P daughter's boyfriend had beat her up, and that "if he'd KNOWN that they were in the emergency room at the same time as I was, he would have come to visit me". Barf. I was in the ER with food poisoning, and THANK GOD I didn't have to deal with xnh as well. I'd really rather upchuck my left boot without being inflicted with him. I was miserable enough because of the food poisoning. Ignorance was definitely bliss that time. :) His drama and tears really annoyed me during that call because xnh is the very same person that abused me for YEARS. It didn't seem to matter to him that he'd left bruises all over me on many occasions, but he'll whip up the tears of drama about his horrible P daughter and then expect ME to have sympathy for him. Where did xnh seriously think that his daughter learned that it is alright for a man to abuse a woman like that? Oh yeah, that's right...HIMSELF. I don't condone domestic violence, but in xnh's case, I had NO sympathy for him. You have no right to weep massive tears about someone getting beat up when YOU have done some beating yourself. JMO. Xnh tears were a manipulative ploy. He could cry like a baby to get what he wanted, and then 10 minutes later, he would "rewrite history" and deny that he'd ever cried. It was all an act. ______________________________________________________ God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Three times. 1)When we were deeply "in love" and he sat me down on the kitchen floor and got tears in his eyes, saying he had never been so happy in his life. (I found out recently that he screwed the other woman later that night). 2)When he told me he had cancer (didn't) so I would come back to him. 3)When I found out about the five other women and he came to church and shook my hand at the sign of peace. (He told me later that night that he'd done nothing wrong) His brother had told me before the first incident that the narc "doesn't cry." He said he'd never cried in his life, even as a baby, didn't even have a teary eye at either of their parents' funerals. So I was deeply moved by the first display. A bit suspicious at the second. Completely baffled by the third. His brother was right: He never HAS cried in his life! LOL

Husband narc used to cry at the drop of a hat. It became really annoying. I knew straight away that it was just an attempt to get his way, but it was hard to shut myself off and ignore it. Other people were fooled and he had them all calling me and writing to me, begging me to reconsider being with him etc. His behaviour totally reminds me of my 11 and 6 year old nephews who start crying to get their way with their mother. Its covert manipulation in its simplest form and it seems to work a treat, cause they just keep on doing it!!

they do get desperate don't they?.... but only when they "feel" they are losing 'ground'... which means you must be doing very well... an N (never feels) unless they feel they are losing ground; and they only lose ground when we are healing ;) ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

I cannot tell you how happy I am to have found this site. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone and it gives me hope to witness many of you regaining your strength after your experiences. My ex cried all the time! His sister said that he cried for every little thing when he was little, and apparently that continues into his adult life. He'd have severe melt-downs if he lost money at card games, as though the card gods were being unjust towards him. It would start out about the game, but soon he would lament about every injustice in his life, from not having a better career, to how other people had it so easy and obtained riches by becoming rock stars over night. But he also had these seemingly deep moments where he would see me cry, and be moved to tears. It was so believable, and he would say that I was the only person that ever made him cry that way. I've read that Narcs don't feel remorse, but mine apologized all of the time with what seemed like great sincerity. And he wouldn't just say he was sorry, but he would go into great detail of how wrong he was and the reasons he did it, feeling threatened, or because of his insecurities. My ex-Narc was quite self-aware, so it seemed.

Mine never cried. In fact his family and friends said that they have never seen him cry or could remember a time other than when he was a toddler. He even prided himself on the fact that he didnt cry. EXCEPT when he was trying to get me back. That was the only time that I saw him cry. And it was only a few tears telling me that he loves me and regrets everything and how sorry he was. I remember him saying through his tears "YOu know that I love you. I dont expect you to say it back but I LOVE YOU!" It worked. I think he knew that simply saying these words would not have worked. He had to make a show out of it. Oh wait.... he also woke up in the middle of the night almost in tears because he had a toothache! Poor baby!