The 'Crying' Narcissist???

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Jul 6 - 1PM
Steph's picture

Crying from them IS total

Crying from them IS total manipulation. Sympathy ploy. My first N cried and cried when I caught him cheating and left. He actually got himself admitted into the psych ward and phoned me from there - still crying. I fell for it eventually and then within less than 2 weeks - he was seeing the girl again. hmmm apparently his tears meant nothing. Second cried too. The first time he ended it with me he cried and then a few days later I saw a pic of him on FB with the new girl - with a huge smile on his face. Also, he cried whenever I would say something during an arguement that made perfect sense - but in order to divert the subject off of him having to be accountable - he would cry about his childhood. I have heard his childhood story so many times - he repeats the same script word for word. Also, when they soon as you give in - their mood instantly changes. I was always a sucker for a man's tears. So it always worked. Total manipulation.
Jul 6 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Yes, I agree

Yes, I agree that crying is narcissistic manipulation at its finest. They do something horribly wrong for which they should apologize, but then they start crying so you will console them. That's nothing but good acting, manipulation and control, if you ask me.
Jul 6 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
SBlaze86's picture

Staying Strong 78

You are so right... Come to think of it, when he told me this, he posted this big victorious grin on his myspace page the day after I text asking if he was alright. The look on his face said, 'Ha ha, it worked, you felt sorry for me, I won!'... I was sooo pissed, because I was actually worried for the SOB's life.
Jul 6 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
MsVulcan500's picture

Mine didn't cry.

In fact, he used to get mad at me if I cried. Which I didn't let him see very often. One night he really scared me. He was mad because he had lost something. He was throwing stuff around the room and I was just frozen, didn't know if I should leave or stay. I just knew to not dare suggest anything to help find the thing. Finally he looked at me and said real coldly, "You can leave now." I went out to my car and cried before I could drive home. I had never seen that kind of rage before. When I told him he needed to apologize because he made me cry, he got all mad at me. But he did say "sorry" and ALMOST sounded like he meant it. He did cry when he was dumping me for the NW. Oh sorry, I mean because he didn't have time for a relationship, he needed to concentrate on his music. He cried during that lunch and I showed emotion like he always did. None. Blank stare. I'm sure he left me at work, wiped his fake tears and went to meet her.
Jul 7 - 7AM (Reply to #4)
NancyM's picture


Mine cried the first time we made love....oops I mean when he pretended. Beat that 1 for a performance to write home about. aaaarrrrgggghhh


Jul 7 - 10PM (Reply to #11)
hitandrun's picture


I think I need to stop reading this thread. I cannot stop laughing : ) He really cried the first time you made love(yes, I know it was pretend)? He deserves an academy award. I would've freaked out. And your wadda wadda response was pretty funny,too.
Jul 7 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
neveragain5's picture

Both of my N's cried. This

Both of my N's cried. This last one cried ALL the time. Said he was "So sensitive and vulnerable". After I found out what he was about, I stopped responding to the crying. He would immediately shut it off and either yell or just sit there looking at me. His acting was REALLY bad! :D
Jul 7 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
NancyM's picture

Soft and vulnerable

Oh yeah isn't it a crack up? Funniest was when his sister was speaking to me on the phone and was telling me what a soft sensitive soul he was. Think my response was wadda wadda?lol


Jul 7 - 9AM (Reply to #7)
neveragain5's picture

"Wadda Wadda", Hahaha! If

"Wadda Wadda", Hahaha! If they only knew!
Jul 7 - 11PM (Reply to #8)
gigi9's picture


Mine cried ALL the time and I have only recently come to see this as manipulation! They really are all alike and should be shipped to their own dysfunctional island!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last contact I had with him was a tipping point moment for me where I finally no longer gave a sh*t what I said to him or how he felt about me and so I let it ALL out. At one point during my rant he looked at me and said "Can't you see that I am sensitive right now?" And with that I said "You sensitive?" And then he gave me this eerie glare as if to say i caught him in his act!
Jul 8 - 10AM (Reply to #9)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture


I love it. That moment when you see right through them and their "old ways" no longer work on you is great, isn't it? The look on their face is priceless. Once I understood narcissism, nothing my EXNH could say to me would win me back. It frustrated the hell out of him. All of the typical lines and charm he used in the past to smooth things over didn't work anymore. I saw through it all. It was literally like a mask had been taken off and he knew it. That's when they avoid us. They know we see through their act and need to find new unsuspecting supply who will adore, admire and hang on their every word.
Jul 8 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
Susan32's picture

Weird and pathetic

That avoidance is weird and pathetic, isn't it? A REAL person would eventually fess up... after all, normal people can be alienated for each other for years before reconciliation (like that movie "The Straight Story" about those two elderly brothers who reconciled because one was dying from cancer) I don't hear from many of my former professors, but my ex-P professor has NEVER contacted me in the past decade (unless you count how he sabotaged me in the teacher education program--so he's not to be trusted with personal references,but I kept NC) There are times you'd want to emotionally blackmail them into the apology, let them have a taste of what it feels like to be the prey.. a forced apology isn't genuine, but it's SOMETHING. (At least my ex-N former boss could give fake apologies) Besides, I know if he EVER contacted me, it would be a one-sided conversation. It would be ALL ABOUT ME--nothing about him. Mentally, he's a child, and as the old saying goes "Children are best seen and not heard." I have to agree with one of my friends. My ex-Psychopath professor IS a total coward. Too afraid to even apologize. Terrified of those who don't admire or despise him, but see him as a flawed, mere mortal. Poor baby!