The bottom line

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#1 Feb 8 - 5AM
Brit
Brit's picture

The bottom line

Here it is the truth, after one year, being devalued and discarded on my birthday, I have reached the bottom line. It is this:- No matter how hard we work at trying to please our N, we will not ever be good enough, what we say or do will never fill that hole a narc has. I am a reasonable, likable person that damn near killed myself in trying to maintain the great love story I thought I had.

He felt nothing but dislike for me, very evident to me now, although I didn't see it at the time. I spent every waking minute of every day trying to look after my man and accepted that my needs, wants and desires were unimportant. I was rewarded with a scattering of tiny crumbs that felt like gold nuggets.

It was not personal, he hates everyone, why it took me so long to understand that he hated me too is completely ridiculous to me now.

Well that's okay, I hate him too. I have found a new me, I deserve better, I am no way ever again going to be treated like something he trod in after the dog left his calling card. I thought it was me, I thought it was all my fault. I didn't want to contemplate that all my efforts were to be in vain. I didn't know he was an N, I just knew he was unkind to me. I was willing to sacrifice me, just to be in his orbit. Thank God I saw the truth.

He will go on to demand from anyone else that will let him, he is not fussy. I am FREE. I didn't understand it at first. I actually remember praying for help in getting away from him, and I found this forum.

I woke up one year ago, I faced the tremendous effort ahead of me in getting out and staying out, and I am now repulsed by him and his kind.

My very grateful thanks go out to each of you here, without you all I would not have found the strength to get where I am today.

Love and strength to you all.

Brit x

Feb 11 - 8AM
thebigpayback
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yes! you summed up my life

Feb 9 - 5AM
Brit
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S&A

Feb 9 - 12AM
shock and awe.some
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Great news Brit

Feb 8 - 10PM
brinamarie
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Beautiful brit! Just

Feb 8 - 10PM
brinamarie
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Beautiful brit! Just

Feb 8 - 12PM
Brit
Brit's picture

Dearest (not) Spinning, over

Feb 8 - 12PM (Reply to #18)
spinning
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Brit!!!!

spinning

Feb 8 - 10AM
spinning
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Brit, it has been

spinning

Feb 8 - 9AM
Garden
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An aha moment! Good for you!

Feb 8 - 12PM (Reply to #15)
Brit
Brit's picture

Garden

Feb 8 - 7AM
Janie53
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Brit

Feb 8 - 12PM (Reply to #12)
Brit
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Janie

Feb 8 - 12PM (Reply to #13)
Janie53
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Brit

Feb 8 - 7AM
Luv2bme
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Sadists..,

Feb 9 - 12AM (Reply to #10)
shock and awe.some
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Luv

Feb 8 - 12PM (Reply to #2)
Brit
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Luv2bme

Feb 9 - 12AM (Reply to #3)
Luv2bme
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Life as the substance he stepped in..,

Feb 9 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
shock and awe.some
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Luv

Feb 9 - 6PM (Reply to #9)
Luv2bme
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Blinded...

Feb 9 - 4AM (Reply to #4)
Luv2bme
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Remembering..

Feb 9 - 5AM (Reply to #5)
Brit
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Luv2bme

Feb 10 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
leslieisback
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bad day

Feb 10 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
Alibi_10
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So pleased