The bottom line
The bottom line
Here it is the truth, after one year, being devalued and discarded on my birthday, I have reached the bottom line. It is this:- No matter how hard we work at trying to please our N, we will not ever be good enough, what we say or do will never fill that hole a narc has. I am a reasonable, likable person that damn near killed myself in trying to maintain the great love story I thought I had.
He felt nothing but dislike for me, very evident to me now, although I didn't see it at the time. I spent every waking minute of every day trying to look after my man and accepted that my needs, wants and desires were unimportant. I was rewarded with a scattering of tiny crumbs that felt like gold nuggets.
It was not personal, he hates everyone, why it took me so long to understand that he hated me too is completely ridiculous to me now.
Well that's okay, I hate him too. I have found a new me, I deserve better, I am no way ever again going to be treated like something he trod in after the dog left his calling card. I thought it was me, I thought it was all my fault. I didn't want to contemplate that all my efforts were to be in vain. I didn't know he was an N, I just knew he was unkind to me. I was willing to sacrifice me, just to be in his orbit. Thank God I saw the truth.
He will go on to demand from anyone else that will let him, he is not fussy. I am FREE. I didn't understand it at first. I actually remember praying for help in getting away from him, and I found this forum.
I woke up one year ago, I faced the tremendous effort ahead of me in getting out and staying out, and I am now repulsed by him and his kind.
My very grateful thanks go out to each of you here, without you all I would not have found the strength to get where I am today.
Love and strength to you all.
Brit x
yes! you summed up my life
S&A
Great news Brit
Beautiful brit! Just
Beautiful brit! Just
Dearest (not) Spinning, over
Brit!!!!
spinning
Brit, it has been
spinning
An aha moment! Good for you!
Garden
Brit
Janie
Brit
Sadists..,
Luv
Luv2bme
Life as the substance he stepped in..,
Luv
Blinded...
Remembering..
Luv2bme
bad day
So pleased