anyone else have the BEST sex ever with the N???

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Apr 16 - 11AM
sara-smile's picture


OMG YES!!! It was the most amazing I've ever had!!! I didn't think I'd ever get past it and missing it but I have! He was a sex addict and he could never ever get enough. It didn't matter if I was sick, tired, mad, sad, etc etc! He insisied we have sex and would get mad if I didn't give in. It was sick. He also didn't care where we were if he wanted he would get it. When I was with him I was so stupid I thought it was because he wanted ME so bad! He told me that crap so I would be ready anytime and anywhere! It wasn't me at all! He is a sick perverted freak that would screw anything with a pulse! I finally realized that and that is how I finally let it go! Its hard because it was so amazing but you'll realize one day its just not worth it!
Apr 16 - 10AM
candy's picture

oh yessss

my narc was fatanstic in bed .. i miss that so much, i have never had sex so exciting, it was electric,we couldnt keep are hands of each another,i will never ever get that feeling again with anyone, and cant forget about it either ... i thought he was my perfect match,i miss his big strong arms that cuddled me and i fitted perfectly into him ... its so strange that they don't feel or miss any of this .... its heart breaking .... candy
Apr 16 - 11AM (Reply to #10)
Tinker's picture


that scares me so much, how heart-breaking it is. how long has it been for you? i was with him for 3 years but on and off, he always kept me wanting me, appearing needy when i just wanted something consistent. it IS overwhelming to know that they can be with anyone and that nothing is special to them.
Apr 20 - 5PM (Reply to #11)
dazed and seeki...
dazed and seeking peace and strength's picture

sorry i keep responding to

sorry i keep responding to this but all of these comments keep striking a chord and finally i am hearing similar stories about sex! i thought mine was addicted to me sexually. he acted like it. but it turns out he was addicted to sex...with anybody/thing. so comes the downfall. it's shattering to think that i equated that with love. i was with mine for 2.5 years. and he always wanted me - and when i didnt give it to him bc i was tired, hungry, busy, etc. he would curse at me. btu when we did it it was great. and i always craved him. but now that i see the other 8 little girls he's been with - i feel disgusting and ashamed. that has been the worst thing ever.
Apr 16 - 10AM
prettypeeved's picture

I hesitate to mention it much

I hesitate to mention it much because although we didn't actually have full-on sex, we did get up to some stuff...much of which had an S&M element to it, which played right into his desires to control me, and my desire to be submissive. And I won't lie, it was great fun and something I've been aching for for a long time. I do get the same pleasures from my partner, but to a lesser extent, and he's not really that interested in it. When I think back to it, sure it was good, but it makes me realise how psychologically I was just filling needs (his and mine) and probably just making the situation worse. Physically he was pretty good...but when I look back I realise how much lust had affected me. I now realise he's not that special. Sometimes I think back and I want it again. I remember being pushed roughly up against a wall and it felt so right... But I know his narc personality would just screw it all up. I could never fully trust him to have sex with him, especially that kind of sex which requires extra trust not to take things too far.
Apr 16 - 11AM (Reply to #6)
Tinker's picture


thanks for mentioning the s&m, mine too was very much into that, and not a lot of guys are. it's a HUGE thing for many N's tho, plays into their need to control. i knew he wouldn't hurt me too much and it was wildly exciting. i get turned off by all the gentle nice guys and worry that i'll never be happy. it's good to hear you're happy with your current guy.
Apr 16 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
safyre99's picture

Me too!

I was extremely physically attracted to my exN and we've been broken up almost 7 months and I still miss having sex with him and I still crave him. He also was dominate and into a bit of rough stuff (I didn't mind though since I'm more submissive) but it makes sense that he was like that since Ns want to feel that power and control. Marissa, I feel the same way and I worry that I'll never find anyone I'm as physically attracted to or that the guy will be too gentle for me. I'm hoping I can find the right combination of someone who can be dominate with me but someone I can also feel a connection with and actually feel intimacy with. I always did feel something was missing when my exN and I had sex. But I still wanted him so badly... and unfortunately I still want him.
Apr 17 - 5AM (Reply to #8)
Tinker's picture


that's my worry too - guys says they're gentle and sweet and dependable and i want to yawn. i wish i was more impressed by that. there should be therapy just so we want that! it's the 'bad boy' syndrome i guess. i too felt something was missing, the emotionality of it. while he may do the right things while he's there (and even that, he didn't like to kiss or touch me!). we have to remember that going forward that in the future the good and intimate sides of a relationship will make up for that excitement. thanks for sharing, it helps so much. sorry you're feeling as i do, still missing it so much, the domination. after a month i heard back from the N this morning in response to my email. totally distant and def 'moved on'. i guess i needed that.:(
Apr 16 - 10AM
dudette's picture

yes absolutely

it was never that good. In fact it was terrible most of the time ( and to be honest, the implement in itself was very very very small indeed...). But he had a way about him and it that was incredibly addictive...the dynamic just worked, like never before. It was all about the fight for power and control. it was incredibly exhilarating. The last time we had sex, he had me on the floor unable to move with his hands over my mouth, trying to stop me from breathing.....Never would have I trusted anyone to play those games with me before I have been celibate ever since Simply because I need to detoxify myself from the addiction that he gave me....
Apr 16 - 10AM
pinkdreamer's picture

I can relate...

to exactly how you feel. I only dated my N for a few months but the physical connection was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Towards the end of our "relationship" I didnt even like him all that much but sexually, I craved him. It was like an addiction. I still cant explain it and honestly, I hope I never feel it again because it kept me tied to a dangerous, unhealthy situation. However, here is some encouraging news. I have met a new man who is absolutely wonderful to me and the sex with him is equally as satisfying - without all the negative aspects of my past N. So.. stay your course, try to not focus on the amazing physical connection and instead heal yourself. You'll find it again, or something similar w/out the disordered personality.
Apr 17 - 6AM (Reply to #3)
Tinker's picture


that IS amazing news. i am talking to a couple of guys that seem to say the right things that i like who i haven't slept with anyone else yet. ALWAYS, after he left, there was such an empty feeling, even if it went well and we spent many hours together so my goal is to have a relationship that doesn't cause me to be anxious and unhappy 95% of the time. sounds reasonable doesn't it!?
Apr 16 - 4PM (Reply to #2)
Arwen's picture

Pink dreamer

Really???? That's amazing news thank you! He's not a narc?