Advice needed

Recently I contacted his ex wife in a moment of desperation when he was threatening me and my children. I was in a blind panic and had called the police and I called her and said I'm asking you as a mother can't you speak to him as the mother of his son and make him stop for the sake of my children and she said to me " what do you want me to do ? He's not my problem anymore we are getting a divorce I'm getting on with my life " she then went on to say " he doesn't leave me alone ". Both positive things really in the respect it gave me hope that if she can do it so can I and that by telling me that after 3 years of separation from her he still doesn't leave her alone proof that he is a psychopath and a liar and is betraying me so more reasons to get out ( as if there wasn't enough already).

But what she also said was " you took all my hopes and dreams away". To which I replied I didn't men to do that you were separated can't you see that he took your hopes and dreams away by being a liar and a cheat. What I keep getting stuck thinking though is that if she is saying I took her hopes and dreams away then doesn't she get it and am I wrong ? Is it me that made him this way and he didn't treat her this way ? Surely by now she would have realised that no one took her hopes and dreams away but him and after 12 years with h how could she have hopes and dreams ? I lost mine after the first year

I know I shouldn't be even thinking like this but it's making me spin and doubt myself. I didn't have an affair he was separated and she is clearly recovering and moving on so if she says that I took her hopes and dreams away is she still in denial or did he never treat her badly ? I just want these doubts to stop. Can anyone give me any words that can help me get my head straight ?

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