Let's play another round of "stupid things my Narc said"

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May 13, 2011 - 10:39pm (Reply to #37)
wacaet
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wise words from some

wise words from some girlfriends a little over a month ago "delete, delete, delete" unfriend him, delete any messages or texts or voicemails delete him from your life
May 12, 2011 - 9:41am (Reply to #35)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I think it's the influence of

I think it's the influence of porn in our culture. My husband started shaving his balls several years ago and wanted me to shave too. I think this was when he started developing his porn addiction/obsession that has eroded our marriage. My N also shaved his balls and I get the impression from talking to other women, it's the trend nowadays. I refuse to shave completely because I find it so damned uncomfortable the following day when it's growing back in. I've done it a total of 3 times in my life and I get a terrible rash afterwards. Feels like cactus needles growing back in!
May 9, 2011 - 11:57pm
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

why are you talking like that?

if i spoke using normal vocabulary as any normal college educated person would, he would say why are you talking like that ? You sound like you are talking out of a book! Pluuuzzz, I do not have a fabulous vocabulary....He could not keep up with a normal conversation. He, Mr Cool and perfect, would strain to understand basic stuff... i still feel bad talking badly about him though...
May 9, 2011 - 11:30pm
Miss Lewis
Miss Lewis's picture

I could write a novel on this topic!

Narc admits that he has NEVER connected to a woman, he has a problem connecting with woman. I state, “So, we didn’t have a connection?!” and he reassures me that of course, I was different. One day, totally random and out of the blue he stated, “ Once I end things with a woman, she becomes depressed, suicidal, self-destructive and turns to drugs and alcohol”. He said that with a poker face! I asked him why he wasted three years of my life and lied to me about wanting marriage, children and being my “soul mate”. He stated that he LIED about everything because I pressured him (Lie-I did no such thing, he was always the one to mention our future) and he needed to say that in order to keep getting sex from me! He told me I took the whole relationship too seriously, than five minutes later, he asks me if we should try this relationship again. HA! He told me we can’t be together because he has “dark tendencies”. He wouldn’t explain what he meant by that. He told me that he hates people and he only uses them for his own selfish gain. Towards the end of the “relationship” , he knew that I was onto him so he didn’t even try to fake being human anymore. He would rage and scream at me over the phone, basically act like a stark raving mad lunatic. He would than show up at my house and act sweet as pie, kissing me on the cheek. I would call him on his abusive ranting and he would simply state, “Sorry, I am not the best communicator”. He was the king of gas lighting, saying absolutely shocking things than flat out deny saying these things 5 minutes later. He also projected out of his yin yang, stating that I was the selfish, abusive one who was damaged and incapable of love! It just got sicker and sicker with time.
May 9, 2011 - 11:02pm
Arwen
Arwen's picture

LOVE this post. There are so

LOVE this post. There are so many I'll only list a few...gotta keep the ladies here comin back for more right? :-) Him: do you know why the Statue of Liberty is green? Me: oxidation. Him: Hmmmmmmmm...you're very smart...there aren't a lot of girls who know that. "I don't wear underwear so I can always be ready" "You need me in your life because I'm on the inside and I'm on the outside at the same time - I understand what you do but I don't do what you do". "All the people in this town just think I'm a whore".
May 9, 2011 - 9:38pm
wacaet
wacaet's picture

I really should have known....

"I could send you flowers, but that's so impersonal, I could get online and order flowers for 10 girls, right now, and you'd never know the difference" "I have a lot of ideas of nice things I could do for you but they are all in my head." "From time to time, you might run in to women who are disgruntled with me." His wife's dog supposedly bit him and he texted me asking if I like dogs...he wanted me to take his wife's dog! Me to him, on the last day "want to be with you, want it to work but so scared I'm literally shaking" Him: "are you sure you didn't catch something from craiglist?" (referring to blind date I had) the very stupidest thing he ever said, though was "all passwords are lizards" that's how I got into his email and found out the horrifying truth about him
May 10, 2011 - 4:14pm (Reply to #28)
marlaoryx
marlaoryx's picture

10 or 30 women

This is scary: "I could send you flowers, but that's so impersonal, I could get online and order flowers for 10 girls, right now, and you'd never know the difference." My exNarc: "This isn't just about sex. I could call up 30 women who would fuck me right now." What's up with flaunting the numbers?
May 9, 2011 - 10:57pm (Reply to #25)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Wacaet this had me on the

Wacaet this had me on the floor as horrific as it is. The "I have a lot of ideas of nice things I could do" comment is PRICLESS!! LMAO!!!
May 12, 2011 - 7:46am (Reply to #26)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Wacaet

OMG! "Ihave a lot of ideas of nice things I could do but they are all in my head!" That is so perfect! Mine used to say, "You have no idea how much I think of you and love you even though I don't spend time with you." I used to say, "Why am I sleeping in my bed forty feet away from you?" (He lived one house away from me) "This is crazy! I miss you and want to be with you!" He'd say, "Just know I'm lying in my bed, just forty feet away, thinking of you and loving you, too." ??????????
May 12, 2011 - 1:30pm (Reply to #27)
Finally Faced It
Finally Faced It's picture

and the award goes to...

helldweller - I think your guy should be awarded a "Big, Bronzed, N Trophy". From everything I've read, I truly think that asshole wins the prize. He is certifiably nuts. FFI
May 9, 2011 - 10:24pm (Reply to #21)
wacaet
wacaet's picture

coughing tv

I forgot my favorite one, from that last night when I was playing chicken with him about booking me a flight. I kept hearing someone cough (He was, as usual, away on business and in a hotel room). He said "oh that's the tv" and then tried fake coughing himself! yes, he had a tv that coughed, it didn't make any other noises, just coughing he was in the bathroom because "it's the only place I can charge my phones" and I'm guessing he picked someone up in the bar and went in the bathroom to call me while she slept (and coughed) He was drunk a lot so many of the funniest things were when he was drunk. Like when he messaged me on facebook first my name ? I replied then my name ? again then I'm on the phone with japan fuckers (co-workers in japan) and then his next message was just a . that's all he typed...this was his version of paying attention to me
May 10, 2011 - 3:56pm (Reply to #24)
Alibi_10
Alibi_10's picture

Ha ha ha

That made me chuckle .... a coughing TV !! What if it had been a piano recital - he would have been in some trouble then. Ha ha - coughing TV, I love it !!
May 9, 2011 - 11:04pm (Reply to #23)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

TV coughing ha ha ha ha ha ha

TV coughing ha ha ha ha ha ha ah LMFAO!!!!!!
May 9, 2011 - 11:00pm (Reply to #22)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

OMG I also got half-sentences

OMG I also got half-sentences that could not be deciphered! Drunk also of course. Oy vey. So digusting how little attention they gave us as you said. And this is one of the techniques of hooking us too...you just give a little and any intelligent person will want to know the complete sentence.
May 9, 2011 - 9:44pm (Reply to #16)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Ally I think we have a new winner........

Wacaet your Narc is the winner! Haaaaaaaa! Those are great and so very sad at the same time! He's not the brightest bulb in the bunch is he? How did you respond?? Did you ever just laugh in his face??? Hilarious!!!!
May 11, 2011 - 4:53pm (Reply to #20)
ally2375
ally2375's picture

Oh, my

Well, I think we have to give him mad points for his creativity! I'm astounded that these guys think we'll BUY this crap!
May 9, 2011 - 10:15pm (Reply to #17)
wacaet
wacaet's picture

I always thought he was being

I always thought he was being funny. I never realized he was dead serious. I thought he was charming and adorable. I shared some of these with my mom and at the time, she thought charming and adorable, too. It's only now that I know the truth about him and taken out of context, that they seem so ridiculous. Part of his game was apparently telling the truth about himself this way and seeing if I'd ever pick up on it. The sad part is that he is really very, very smart. He's also very, very good at narc manipulation. He had me completely fooled and many other women as well. It's heartbreaking to see how a mental illness has totally fucked this man up. He's attractive and intelligent, talented, well educated and has a very good career. But he drinks more than anyone I've ever known (I'm in AA, I've known a lot of drunks, he takes the cake), he's unhappy and he ruins other people's lives for fun. Really, really fucked up.
May 11, 2011 - 3:55am (Reply to #19)
marlaoryx
marlaoryx's picture

Me, too.

Sounds like mine, too. Very, very smart. Great narc manipulator. Fools everyone. So attractive and sexy and intelligent...and what a drinker! I've never known anyone to drink like this man does, and he's proud of it. He's proud of his self-loathing, too. Wears it like a badge of honor.
May 9, 2011 - 11:08pm (Reply to #18)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Wacaet this last post made me

Wacaet this last post made me cry I actually think we have the same N I experienced exactly the same charm, goofy funny silliness with the self-aware humor and so good-looking and smart. G-d I really love who he could have been for me.
May 9, 2011 - 9:27pm
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

"You need to give me enough

"You need to give me enough rope to hang myself" Meaning: give me absolute freedom and don't question me but still trust me. He was doing A HELL OF A LOT OF HANGING!!!
May 9, 2011 - 9:40pm (Reply to #9)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Hope Again

Too bad he didn't literally hang himself! I guess that would have messed up his mullet/Danny Zuko hairdo! Haaaa!
May 9, 2011 - 10:13pm (Reply to #10)
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

More narcspeak from "Danny Zuko"....lol

My sentiments exactly sara-smile...there is so much he used to say..I actually posted it on another site and will cut and paste it here... When you see through their lies and begin to find them out...people with narcissistic personality disorder say certain things in order to make you question yourself or project what they are doing onto you: I heard these over and over again: -You're so insecure -You're the craziest girl I ever dated -You're so negative, I can't be around you (also gave him time with his other sources of supply) -I used to be "happy go lucky" but I am different since I met you because you bring me down -You are making me bear your exes cross -You're pushing me away -You have to make me WANT to be with you (when he'd give me tiny specs of crumbs ..he was the "invisible boyfriend") I used to ponder: how can I be positive and "make him want to be with me" when he treats me like a piece of dog shit on his shoe??? HMMMMM...very good question you sick narco-path!! lol - Another popular one in which he was also projecting: "You don't trust my friendship with X or Y or Z (there were many 'friends/fans') because YOU can't have a platonic relationship!!!!" -You don't want a boyfriend, you just want someone to argue with -When he would be outright awful to me it was "a reaction to an action!!!!" -I need a chic who is "happy to be" True meaning: Happy to be cheated on, happy to be ignored, happy to be emotionally abused & gaslighted, happy to be verbally abused, happy to be mind-fucked, happy to be by herself all the time. Yes, happy to be all these things "while I am out banging other chics & lying to her face each and every time I see her & each and every time we talk" And the number one winner is....(drumroll please).... "YOU THINK WAY TOO MUCH!!!!!!!" True meaning: Damn, I'd wish you'd stop figuring me out... that I am a lying, cheating, psychopathic player who is using you and countless other women and telling them all I am their "boyfriend".
May 17, 2011 - 8:59pm (Reply to #14)
prinseis33
prinseis33's picture

Hahhahaha

I was waiting for it in all these comments "YOU THINK TOO MUCH" gooooood one....or "ur crazy" and I use to question myself! They're the crazy weirdos who think too much
May 9, 2011 - 11:11pm (Reply to #12)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Hope again WTF???

ok we ALL have the same narc on this post! that freaking comment "you think too much" - "you're too smart for your own good" ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Controlling, women-hating mother fu--ers!!!!!!!!!!!
May 10, 2011 - 8:31pm (Reply to #13)
Lisa87
Lisa87's picture

oh yeah hope again and patiencegoal

You think too much you take our relationship too seriously (meanwhile telling me he loves me everyday but its okay for him to talk and text all ex GF's..that I'm sure were still in the picture) ugh I would marry you one day....huh? We are pretty compatible.. I want what you want - when I asked him what he was looking for in a relationship...(already caught him cheating...... ...but she slept in the other bedroom cause she got drunk (thats why he answered the door with a hard on and told me to leave).....oh and after i lived with him for 2 months with my kids, etc. he also said that day... We were only dating!!! WTF, dating? I lived with you and we were together every day, vacations with me, my kids, my mother, talking of spending our lives together and telling me he loved me every day! guess thats what he told the OW I will always love you-----heard that over and over I want to be friends You need to raise your kids right now but in 2-5 years I want to get married and the only person I have chemistry and connection with is you!! yes to keep me around for sex but.....the same night he told me that, he did tell me that he was narcisistic and controlling and manipulative and he was working on himself....and I thought that was so big of him that I did sleep with him and then several times after..ugh no more I D&D'd and NC for almost 3 wks! : ) love that they are all cut from the same cloth!
May 9, 2011 - 10:20pm (Reply to #11)
wacaet
wacaet's picture

Ours are very similar every

Ours are very similar every time I found something online about him or questioned something he said or did he'd say "you really need to get a hobby" He said "you are bi-polar, I never know which you I'm going to get". I told him he was smart enough to figure out if he'd treat me well, he'd get a happy me. He just didn't care enough to do that, I think he got off on making me angry and seeing how far he could push me and then having me beg him to forgive me. In fact, I know he got off on it. Asshole He told me I had too much drama in my life, that it took a great deal of effort to keep me happy (meaning a brief phone call every day and drunken calls when there wasn't anyone else to be had)
May 9, 2011 - 9:21pm
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Oh fun! :) ME: Can you please

Oh fun! :) ME: Can you please come and look at some paint samples and colors to give me your opinion? Narcette: No I can't, I'm cleaning the windshield of my car.... REALLY?? You couldn't do better than that? Another.... Narcette: I think we have to back things down to just being friends.... ME: I don't think I am capable of being just friends with you... Narcette: Well of course I'll always love you and we'll always be more than just friends WTF??? ~KG
May 12, 2011 - 7:49am (Reply to #7)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

kauaigirl

OMG! I would see mine watering his lawn next door and text him, "Coming out to chit chat!" and he'd text back and say, "I can't talk now. I'm watering the lawn."
May 9, 2011 - 9:28pm (Reply to #5)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

kauaigirl

Your Narcette sounds like my Narc! Let's be friends.....I'll always love you and we'll always be more than just frineds! Let's get married.......after my kids aren't so attached to HER KID! UGH! Stupid Narcs! When I read stuff like this it makes me wonder where my brain was for 3 years! LOL
May 9, 2011 - 9:37pm (Reply to #6)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Sara-smile....I hear ya

Sara-smile....I hear ya sister! What was I thinking?? Ugh...they're imbeciles!! :) hugs! ~KG
May 9, 2011 - 9:07pm
ally2375
ally2375's picture

Love this game!

Sara, your ex can toss a word salad better than just about anyone! Here's a fun one courtesy of N #2. We had gotten together on a Friday night and I wanted to go out. I was new to LA and up for anything; I just wanted to see the city. Me: Let's go somewhere! N: I don't want to. Me: I don't mean someplace fancy. We could just go to the pier or to the beach or something. N: Guys don't like to take their girls out. If a guy takes his girl out and other guys look at her, he feels bad because they want her. But, if other guys DON'T look at her, then he feels bad because he thinks she must not be that hot. I think about this stuff now and wonder how I didn't run screaming into the night!
May 9, 2011 - 9:32pm (Reply to #2)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

You are so right Ally

My Narc is a master at toss a word salad! He could keep me confused for days!! I also look at this stuff and wonder where my brain was and what the hell was wrong with me!!!! 2 years ago if he had said that crap to me my thought would have been "aaaaawww he wants to marry me one day"! DUH! All of that garbage is code for CAN WE HAVE SEX AGAIN PLEASE??
May 10, 2011 - 7:08pm (Reply to #3)
JLMNY1
JLMNY1's picture

This is a great post! When I

This is a great post! When I confronted my exN that we didn't see each other a lot because of all the extra things he did outside of work that didn't include me, he told me to "sleep less" if I wanted to see him in the morning, or stay up late to accommodate his schedule I want someone fun I put a master lock on the cell phone account so I could see who's checking it You're being very fairy tale about our relationship I don't want you to turn into your mother (this was the D&D. meanwhile, his dad is a loser who's been married 4,5 times, who left his mom for the babysitter when he was a kid) You worry too much (because I didn't want to drive 4 hours in a blizzard) I can't sleep in the same bed as you. That's just WEIRD (right after the D&D while I was waiting to move out) Me: I'm catholic Him: No you're not Me: Um, yes I am, I was raised catholic and that is my religion Him: No it's not, otherwise I wouldn't be dating you