Why do they abandon abruptly and then go silent?
Why do they abandon abruptly and then go silent?
My exbf N moved last summer saying he did not want to break up but he quickly cut off communication after about 5 weeks. He invited me to Skype twice after he left in the summer which I did not do (not sure why - maybe was unconsiously glad he was gone) - he used to go silent in the summer time - 2 or 3 summers were ruined). Did me not skyping him make him move to new supply quickly? He just dropped off the face of the earth after we planned a visit. When I finally got Skype, he would not respond. He would only answer superficial texts. After a few months, he also stopped texts - radio silence.
We never discussed breaking up and some of my things are here in his house. Why don't they say they want to break up? Why don't they give you an opportunity to get your stuff back if they want out? Why no good bye?
Is is because they still want to have control over you in some sick way or is it because they moved on to new supply and actually forgot or don't care that you exist? How do they blank out a decade? We parted on good terms so why would they act like they hate you when nothing precipitated the abandonment? Is it shame because they know right from wrong and know their actions were "bad"? Is it narcissistic injury for them? To face the bad behavior would hurt their own image of themselves as a "nice guy"?
I am obsessing a little less each day thanks to this forum. He is starting to seem more like a weird distant cousin rather than the person I was madly in love with. But I still don't understand the psychology of the silent treatment! It is just so bizarre!! Please enlighten me. Is it like a 6 year old who ran away to play elsewhere and does not want to get in trouble by discussing it? Or are we the toaster they do not miss enough to revisit?
When we last communicated when I broke contact, he said he missed me (he has not called me in 6 months and has not texted in 2.5 months and has a new GF).
Could it be me who has the problem that my ego could not take being dumped or is this
a freaky silent N abandonment? It has taken me months to even get to the place where I realize its over! I must have believed the pretend love very intensely!! Part of me still thinks he loves me which I know is nuts! This is not what men do when they love you!
To answer the why...
the light finally came on
Believe in yourself!
Terri
But there is also the element of addiction to supply
michele115 YES! BOTH!
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terri
Terri - Yeah
Another factor
What he considered "stealing"
TERRI FOR YOU
thanks onwithmylife
Believe in yourself!
Terri
terri, thank you
spinning
Spinning
Terri, this is so true...
spinning
Terri, you are so right
Mine told me that he loved so much others
silent treatment
Yeah, the distance thing.
Did it to a whole lecture hall
The thing I can't get quite
No, there IS a difference
Believe in yourself!
Terri
No contact - silence - the differences
cause its not the same
ifinallygotit
YOUR SAME AS ME!
AquariasGal
passive aggressive
Got it...