Quote for the day..

Truer words have never been spoken! And we also can't forget those unspoken words. Daggers from their eyes, deliberate silence, and sinister sneers.

You were in love with who she pretended to be Bloke...At least that's why I listened intently while he screamed in my face "DIE, I HOPE YOU DIE, I HATE YOU". I think about chilling events that make my blood curl. You are a normal person, she was not. It so hurts and we need to hurt, then we need to stop hurting and that's why were here. I totally understand this post because I sit there and think the same shit :(

Imabloke: I could not agree more - words are the worst. I was married to a physically abusive physician many years ago The bruises and bones healed, the words never left me. This is not to say that the physical abuse was acceptable, only that those wounds healed. Then, many years later I met the N (that brought me to this forum) He was never physically abusive; but the words, at first they were loving and caring, then, they were ugly, mean, and for some reason I cannot get them, the good ones, or the bad ones out of my head. I know exactly what you mean. I am new here, and at the very beginning of the healing process, I welcome your comments.

We haven't met..or communicated, I wanted to say hello. I also wanted to say that I might not respond to some of your posts for a while because of what I am going through? While I know you are a victim...for me...the trauma is also tied up with men? I commend you for being able to approach the enemy...you are a lot better off in some respect than I am...for you have not lumped the entire female gender as "the enemy" In time, I hope I get past this...I would like to see you as a person but right now you are a man... Does that make sense? It's MY trust issue - I am sure you are a very decent man. I wish there were better words I could offer to give comfort, I really do but your gender right now is triggering me. But you can't help that...LOL - it's me... These ladies here though are pro's...and I do wish you well with your recovery. All the best...

I was in a Narc workplace for 5 years (from '03 to '08)... I had to deal with CONSTANT bullying. It was PTSD, because I was getting bullied by authority figures... just like I had been with the ex-Psych professor. Sad to say, my ex-Narc boss looks angelic compared to the ex-Psych professor. Because the former boss had some human qualities- such as liking music and having hobbies. With the ex-P, it was constant bullying within the context of a teacher/student relationship. It never got physical (as in sexual intimacy, or physical violence)--but I was the one who was always blamed for inappropriate behavior, crossing the line. When I tried to make a dignified closure, congratulating him on his engagement and I was heading off to graduation--all I did was get raged at for "imposition" and "violation." During the final D&D, the ex-P would look at me with his cold eyes while he reduced me to tears... in front of his colleagues and my classmates. He'd be bullying me to tears, and perversely, I was the one apologizing. Ns/Ps are control freaks in intimate relationships. The ex-P took advantage of the fact that he had control as an authority figure. Sheesh, I hope the narcissistic college kids these days have given him a big dose of his own medicine, too busy playing with their iPods to listen to his lectures, to hear him droning about "war and war and war and war".... may they be too busy with their FB to give him ANY NS!!!!

Narcisissts ARE bullies, imabloke that is one of the first things I came up with when I googled domestic abuse and narcisissm. These guys are bullies, abusers and worse. You are wrong, you ARE good enough, it's SHE who isn't good enough! She may have been everything you ever wanted (she was FAKE), she was an imposter who wanted to win you over for her own ends. You and the rest of us fell for the act and are here paying the price for our gulibility. You let her carry on cos you SO wanted her to be THE ONE! http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/npd.htm this website opened my eyes re bullying, I hope it is of some use to you too :)

((((((Bloke))))))) I was bullied too. Kids could to terrible things to me and I would not hit back or get nasty. I even had one bully beg me in front of the whole fifth grade (the teacher had stepped out) to "hit me back, go ahead." I COULDN'T. Not because I was afraid to, I really wanted to rip her head off. I just can't hit people on purpose. I did get into a little girl slap fest in the seventh grade, but that was unusual. Those "lovely" memories came back en masse after the Narc. I would have worded them differently before the Narc. Now when I remember them, I think about them from a more powerful place. I just was NOT a mean or cruel or bullying PERSON. And they were. And what I know now about the psychological underpinnings of bullies and bullying, I feel contempt and pity, not fear. If someone tries to bully me NOW they don't get far. I work with a few bully types. They DON'T bully me. And I am still not even slightly "scary". I look like someone's pushing-middle-age-slightly-overweight-greying MOTHER (besides being five feet tall). About as scary as it gets :D . Even nasty family members of my patients don't get too far with me. And I don't say a WORD. It's because their words do NOT hurt. No one's words hurt me anymore, not in a long term, deep way. I hate it when I'm disliked. I hate being pegged negatively. Just like the next person. But I don't BELIEVE them. I'll try on their negativity for size. But I am the final decision maker for who I am. And bully types do not know what to do with that. In my experience, while I watch OTHER people get bullied, they leave me out of it. Sounds like I work in a nest of vipers, but I think it's just normal for nursing :P Bloke, give yourself permission to be who you are. That bitch can't find her ass with both hands and a flashlight. What she said to you, what any bully says to you is just bullshit. They aren't your MIRROR. YOU are. The people who are good to you? Look in THEIR mirrors. The people who treat you like shit? Smash em. They are just wrong. Simple as that.

Michael Pritchard is an anti-bullying counselor based out of San Rafael. He tours the country. He's given talks all over the country. He told the story of how he wrote a mean poem to a plump girl in high school, mocking her fatness. Years later, when he was in the hospital... she was his nurse, and she pinned that nasty poem onto his prescription sheet. I remember being floored when I heard about all the nasty things the ex-Psych professor was saying behind my back. He said nasty things to my face, but he saved the worst for his colleagues (who couldn't stand him) and his circle of young male disciples (who worshipped him) He was FURIOUS if I talked about how he treated me to other people. He forbade me from doing it... so I was very hesitant to talk about it with anyone. He was a teacher;I was a student. In high school, I remember being the one who was punished when I retaliated against a bully. She was a blonde bimbo. Her boyfriend stole my wallet from my locker;once, I was minding my own business and she followed me all over campus, yelling obscenities at me. She CLAIMED I had bothered her during a phone call (I hadn't) So, I spread a rumor about her making out with the fat, nasty janitor, who was missing teeth. I told her friends first. They ate it up. I refused to apologize to her. Even when she got me into the vice principal's office to apologize to her, I didn't. She had bullied me; I was NOT going to give her that satisfaction. Instead, I said in a condescending voice, "I was teaching you a lesson." She never heard "I'm sorry I trashed your reputation." She was a bully. Since she didn't apologize for how she mistreated me, she didn't deserve my apology.