Gifts from a narcissist

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Nov 12 - 8PM (Reply to #32)
onwithmylife
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they give

a whole new meaning to the word "ANAL RETENTIVE" i could not resist that one, too funny!!!!!
Nov 12 - 12AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I think the Narc Gifts

Thread will HEAL me...this needs to be a really long thread I really think I can be healed reading this... There is no cognitive dissonance here - just sheer stupidity... I envision Stepford Men void of emotions lining up at Walgreens or the 99 cent store and it is pathetic but comical just how simple and assholish they are. Certainly motivates me not to really fret over the loss of him... Oh please please...tell me more narc gift stories...I'm loving it so much...the only thing missing is you gals in person and maybe a can of Bud Lite Lime...
Nov 12 - 12AM (Reply to #28)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Giving gifts to Narcs can be just as comical...

Yeah, I gave "trinity" spice mixes to the professors on my examination committee (that included the ex-P), as well as my essay advisor. All of them were thankful... except the ex-P. Not only did he NOT say "thank you",but he complained about how spices irritated his stomach (I've heard Narcs tend to have IBS from repressing their feelings, my Narc grandmother has it too),how he didn't like spicy food... and this fancy spice mix was probably as kicky as Mrs. Dash. The spice mix cornered him because he felt improper to give it back... I had him cornered,embarrassed, not knowing what to do. Exactly where I wanted him. He'd tell me how he couldn't stand music. He HATED it. Guess what "gifts" he got from me *rimshot*
Nov 12 - 12AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Ladies...

This is so funny...either I have offically gone insane or this thread and the older one from a few weeks back is fantastic! I am sitting here in out loud side splitting laughter at 1am... Thanks so much...you know, I can't remember the last time I really really laughed out loud... Keep it coming. We need a "humor" section...laughter is the best medicine.
Nov 12 - 12AM
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

as per request

First off, those really aren't SO bad. I mean, they aren't good by any means, but they kind of just sound like a lazy, clueless "dude"'s gifts. At least yours didn't go out of his way to show you how worthless you are. Allthatglitters requested I repost my gifts from last holiday season. So I will reach into my memory bank here... He went to the $.99 Store and picked up a load of stuff that he wrapped individually and said "all had meaning." I got a scarf, socks, fabric softener sheets, a calender mouse pad, a Hershey bar, Oreo Cakesters (because they reminded him of his ex-girlfriend, not to mention, he used to tell me that he would NEVER put anything in his body that came from that store), protective eye-goggles (and not for carpentry), other crap, and last, but not least, a bottle of ranch dressing. This was during a "hoovering," by the way, cause I was on to him about his double life. He was about to ditch me AGAIN for two weeks for the holidays to go "work." Of course, I found out later for certain that he went to be with his long-term girlfriend whom he had been hiding from me for 7 months.
Nov 12 - 12AM (Reply to #25)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Girlfriday you sound bitter

Do you know what Ranch Dressing costs in a regular supermarket!!! How did that narc walk into your home with those gifts and have a straight face? My God...you know, a card with a beautiful poem or something would trump all those cheesy gifts if money was tight... BUT if I now NARCS...it's got nothing to do with not being able to afford, it's got to do with "what's easy" "what's quick" cause they really aren't emotionally invested. I got some funky strawberry lotion set...it was the shower gel, the lotion and some other thing...the whole price was FIVE dollars! Whooo Hoooo big spender... It would be vulgar to describe what it smelled like and the act I had to put on like I "liked" it so much...now that I think of it, I should have worn that shit every night we were in bed together, just funked him outta here... LMAO... Maybe if I can find it, I'll send it to his mother for mother's day - it was barely used...I can add water...I'll call it, making it better...
Nov 11 - 6PM
positivefuture
positivefuture's picture

FLOWERS

mine gave flowers for everything. and sometimes a stuffed animal, or t-shirt, candles. occassionally a trip - but usually he'd get it comped. he'd always make sure i knew he gave other people more than flowers for their bday or valentines day etc....but not me, FLOWERS for those occassions only. he also asked me if for one bday i wanted to go to taco bell and in the parking lot we could f*ck and he would c*m on my tits as my gift. in leui of the flowers LOL. oh...how sweet NOT!!!
Nov 12 - 9AM (Reply to #23)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Sex at Taco Bell...that's

Sex at Taco Bell...that's terribly "romantic" (not). lol. My first xnh used to give me flowers whenever he was up to something horrible. I HATED getting flowers from him. It flew every single red flag that I had in me. I remember getting this HUGE bunch of roses at work one day, and all of the women in the office were ogling them. "Oh, they're SO beautiful." "Oh, you're SO lucky." I told one them, "Here you keep them. I know that he's up to something, and THAT is the only reason for him to send them to me." They all thought I was just horrible for being so suspicious. Sure as sh*t, I came home that night and he had borrowed over $3,000 from his Mommy and bought all new very high-end stereo equipment for himself. He knew that I would be angry (both at the stereo equipment AND the borrowing money from his mommy without discussing it with me in advance). Since *I* was the only person in the household that was employed, and HE was a full time "professional" student that refused to get a job, guess who he was trying to stick with the debt from his mommy? THAT is why he sent the roses. Three days later, the final insult came addressed to me in the mail...the bill from the florist for the roses. He was SUCH an a$$.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Nov 11 - 4PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Gifts to a Narcissist

The ex-Psych professor didn't seem to like much of ANYTHING. No wonder his birthday was never celebrated, and he groused about getting old anyway. The strange irony is that I can get gifts for my Narc grandmother and I did get Christmas gifts for my Narc boss... and I knew what they'd like, and they'd APPRECIATE them. After my senior essay on the Trinity, I got a "trinity" spice mix for the professors on my essay examination board (that included the ex-P,he was the presenter) as well as my advisor. 3 of the 4 professors appreciated the thank-you gift... except the ex-P because he said he didn't like spices. (Well, yeah, I believe in the Power of the Spice, and fear is the mind-killer, the little death) It was probably as spicy as Mrs. Dash, but the ex-P was into blandness. Big time. Baby food is for the most part pretty tasteless;glop in a jar. Not only did the ex-P made a big point about how he didn't like it, wouldn't use it... by then I really DID NOT care. I shrugged and said something sarcastic about his inability to be pleased and/or happy. By then, his inability to say "thank you" didn't upset me. He wanted a fight;I gave him an eyeroll. Spice mixes tend to contain salt... salt is used in exorcisms... I learned I had the *SPECIAL* power of giving the ex-P what he did NOT want.
Nov 11 - 12PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Yes, N's are really good at

Yes, N's are really good at giving hideous gifts. Xnh gave me exhaust tips for my car one year for Christmas. I could care less whether or not my car has "cool" looking exhaust pipes. HE is the one that worried about that stuff, not me. lol. He also gave me little dye cast models of any cars that I happened to own (which all ended up in HIS collection of little metal cars), and one year xnh bought me an RC car that he'd been wanting. Again, those were HIS dream gifts not mine. Therefore I quickly told xnh, "I'll pick out what I want, and then YOU order it. If I don't specifically tell you I want X, DON'T get creative and buy something else. I, also, will not be happy with last minute gift cards you bought at Walmart, etc. So don't even bother going there." Of course, he would act mortally wounded that I would think that HE would ever do such a thing. rofl. My point to xnh, was that I wanted him to think ahead about getting me a gift and really put some thought into what *I* would like (not him). Telling xnh this took ALL of the surprise out of my gifts, but I occasionally ended getting something I actually wanted. Of course, the flaw in this strategy was that xnh is a narc. Narcs live "in the moment", and planning ahead doesn't seem to work with them. What I frequently ended up hearing from xnh was, "I was just SO BUSY that I didn't have time to get you anything. Let's just go shopping this weekend and you can pick it out." Just FYI, this shopping trip was usually punctuated with, "Oh, I 'forgot' my wallet. You buy it and I'll pay you back." I'm sure you all can guess who then "forgot" to pay me back as well (if xnh didn't "forget" the shopping trip along with his wallet). Thus, I learned to "forget" my purse whenever "he" was buying me a gift. God help me if I ever wanted a birthday cake. If it hadn't for my parents or my youngest step-daughter THAT wouldn't have happened. lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Nov 11 - 4PM (Reply to #20)
betty2020
betty2020's picture

OMG..LMAO. MySt, I can

OMG..LMAO. MySt, I can believe you wouldn't be concerned with how cool your car sounds???? hahah. Aren't most women worried about this? lol. Exhaust tip,s!! And matel hotrod cars are a hoot, wish i could have seen your eyes roll on that one. Looks like the little boy got everything he wanted for Christmas. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Nov 11 - 12PM (Reply to #19)
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

Gifts

Mine would always say he needed a list from everyone telling him exactly what they wanted. I told him if he knew all of his family members, friends, and me, he shouldn't have to ask. I NEVER asked him what he wanted. I thought about him and bought him things I thought he would like. But what I noticed about the list was, if you made a list, he didn't get what was on there. For instance, his son wanted a collapsible collander. He got him a corkscrew. Son said "this wasn't on my list, and didn't you give me a corkscrew last year?" I gave him the collander. But while he got the one son a corkscrew, he gave the other a plasma tv. Nice, huh. One Valentines Day I searched to find him a necklace that was made in the pueblo where his dad grew up. I search all over the internet and finally found one that he would like. I gave it to him, telling him where it was made, and he all but teared up, he thought that was so great that I got him something that reminded him of his dad. So great he turned around and gave me a box that I could put photos in. For Christmas he always gave me socks and anti-wrinkle cream. I guess he was noticing how much he aged me in 5 years. ;) The money I spent on good gifts for him now goes to the Food Bank of the Rockies. Much better use of my money.
Nov 11 - 11AM
betty2020
betty2020's picture

Wow, did he buy the gun at

Wow, did he buy the gun at walgreens too? A narc buying his victim a gun?????? Hummmm?????? I really have to think this one out. That is about the dumbest Narc i think i have ever heard of. He takes the idiot award of the year for PDIs thats for sure. They really dont think ahead do they????? only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Nov 14 - 9AM (Reply to #17)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

A gun???????

OMFG Betty! I wish MY narc would have bought ME a gun! LMFAO!
Nov 11 - 5PM (Reply to #16)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

thats what I thought

I know the N would have never bought me any gun. I have been so out of control with him that he had to take me to the ground and sit on top of me to calm me down. He's knows damn good and well that I may of used it on him. In my area of the world/country we like our guns. Alot of people down here live by "Shoot first ask questions second" Oh no no no there would have been no gift of a gun for sick of it.
Nov 11 - 3PM (Reply to #15)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Gun

ABC mentioned selling the gun. I'd be very careful about that. If you do not want the gun, then bring it to a police station & give it to them. But, first, do you have a license to have a handgun? You mentioned he is a lawyer? I hope he & you have a license to possess a gun if you are in one of those states which requires licensing. Find out. Possessing a handgun without a proper permit can entail mandatory minimum sentencing. And bringing a gun from one state to another (as you mentioned a recent move) can make a once legal handgun illegal. Ignorance to the law is not a defense.
Nov 11 - 11AM
sunflowergrl70
sunflowergrl70's picture

I had the opposite.

He bought me really expensive stuff almost from day 1. We were dating three months and he took me out and bought me an $800 mountain bike. It was the weekend after my father died and he said he was cheering me up. I thought it was strange to out of the blue take me to a bike shop and buy me such an expensive gift. He never lets me forget it though! For our first Christmas he bought me really expensive ski's and boots. The whole nine yards. We went on tons of trips. But again. He never let me forget it. Every time we had a disagreement he'd throw it in my face how he bought me such expensive gifts. BUT he also had talked about how he had bought these same kinds of gifts for other women he dated. It was just weird. Why would you spend that kind of money on someone you are dating less then a year. I was so overwhelmed by it all too! It was kind of embarrassing because I didn't know what to do!
Nov 11 - 3PM (Reply to #13)
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Expensive Gifts

Did your N also ride Mountain Bikes? Did he want you to ski with him? Did he buy you this equipment so as to accompany him on his favorite activities? I am so cynical. Most Ns are so cheap. But when they give something of value, there is something in it for them. Apparently, my N wanted my diamond, eternity-band wedding ring back! I think his lawyer probably told him that it doesn't work that way. I learned that he was pissed I kept the ring because the woman who replaced me told me when she looked me up after she dumped him. And, he bought her a very cheap necklace. They broke up shortly thereafter. He demanded the necklace back. We are both convinced that his present new woman is wearing the necklace this minute.
Nov 11 - 12PM (Reply to #8)
Nothanx
Nothanx's picture

Expensive gifts

Yep, Mine was a great gift giver! I know now that that is a trick and a control tactic. Mine bought me $4,000 diamond earrings within 3 months! My Mom warned me that it was not normal and I should be careful, but I just thought she was jealous. Till this day, he still asks me "do you still take care of the earrings that I bought you?". Gift giving is one of the things that sucked me in (time and time again). My first husband was really practical and not extravagant at all, so when the narc bought me nice stuff I ate it up and took it as a sign that he thought I was worth a lot. Even if he didn't spend a lot of money, he still had a way of turning something small into a great gift; maybe just 1 truffle from a pricey candy shop, or a great picnic basket full of delicious cheese, friut and wine to be enjoyed by the river. He really did have a knack for gift giving that most men just don't have! I miss that.
Nov 11 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
sunflowergrl70
sunflowergrl70's picture

Yes same here.

He would spoil everyone including his kids with gifts and then not want to buy anything good for himself. He'd then say things like "I never get anything good for myself". I'd tell him all the time "why the F not? Just go buy yourself nice stuff and stop complaining"! It wasn't like he didn't have the money to spend on himself and nobody was holding a gun to his head asking for the gifts he was giving. Another thing he would do is decide ahead of time what he was going to buy and then tell you. He'd do that for his kids too. He'd take them to try stuff on or check out what they wanted. You always knew well ahead of time. I like to surprise people with what I buy!
Nov 12 - 8AM (Reply to #10)
Nothanx
Nothanx's picture

Sunflower

Mine did the same thing with telling me way ahead of time what he was going to get me! For example, the earrings he started talking about after we had only dated for like 2 months! He would window shop, look online, go through catalogs in front of me and ask which ones I liked! He would tell me how he was investigating the cut, clarity etc...I know it sounds awful, but I knew something was off about him but those earrings kept me around for quite some time! At first I got caught up in the romance of it all, and even-though I knew he was weird (at the time I just thought he was quirky)I stuck around because he seemed so enamored by me! After he gave me the earrings I felt obligated to stay with him for awhile so that I didn't seem like a gold digger. He would say things to make me feel guilty about how much they cost, and say "You are wearing my new mountain bike on your ears". Next thing I know he dumps me (within weeks of giving me the earrings), for his secretary that I thought hated him! That is when the whole crazy mind f*ck started! That is when I got off balance! This was to be the cycle for the next two years!
Nov 12 - 9AM (Reply to #11)
Used
Used's picture

lol

You are wearing my new mountain bike on your ears". Next thing I know he dumps me (within weeks of giving me the earrings), this made me lol..after narc bought me a necklace , i said are you ready to go food shopping now. he said you are wearing my food for a month round your neck...when i tried to give him the money for it....he shoutedDONT TRY TO UNDERMINE ME USED. and spoil it...when i went n/c with him i posted everything back..
Nov 13 - 7PM (Reply to #12)
Nothanx
Nothanx's picture

Used

Well I am keeping those fucking earrings! I earned them! lol
Nov 11 - 12PM (Reply to #6)
chickon2
chickon2's picture

sunflowergrl70

I am with you sunny girl.. exn spent so much money, on me in 3 months that every friend of mine was like OK clone that guy.. Jewelry alone, was a mint.. Then an 8 day cruise.. Concerts, clothes, dance lessons. holy bejesus and like you sunflower he told me, WHY didn't i meet you sooner.. why, why, I have spent so much money on others and I only want to give to you.. and i have to admit Our vacation was sooo MUCH.. I wonder what he is getting the new girl:-(
Nov 11 - 12PM (Reply to #7)
sunflowergrl70
sunflowergrl70's picture

Yes fancy trips.

We went on a trip two years in a row across the country for skiing. The first time he took me he was going on and on about how great it was going to be. He then stated "I've probably taken 10 other people on this trip". It was like he wanted to show me a good time, but then wanted to devalue it at the same time. It was as if to say "I'm taking you for this fun trip, but I don't want you to enjoy it or feel special".
Nov 11 - 11AM
Mariline
Mariline's picture

There is a wonderful thread

There is a wonderful thread somewhere in the board concerning this. The list of the Narcs gifts will give you the shivers....and a good laugh too. My list includes : a recipe book which belonged to his mother; an old grey stained t-shirt; and the best of it, our engagement ring was the one he bought for his first wife ( what a honour) it was made of silver, maybe ten euros worth .
Nov 11 - 11AM
ClusterF
ClusterF's picture

Scoop??

Tell these ladies about your socks! There's another thread buried in here that was called "strange gifts from the narc" or something like that. It's an excellent read. Very vindicating, too.
Nov 11 - 11AM
chickon2
chickon2's picture

ABC0311

He's a damn Pez... idiot..
Nov 11 - 10AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

you got gifts?

Lucky!